It was 2:47am.
I was awoken by frantic knocking from my front door. Like most people, I wasn’t expecting anyone at that time. I groaned and remained in bed, hoping the person at the door would get the message. No such luck; the knocking grew more frantic by the second.
Ready to snap at whoever was awake at this ungodly hour, they spoke.
“Mi-Nam?”
My blood ran cold. Dae-Hyun.
I wasted no time in hopping out of bed and rushing to open the door.
Dae-Hyun was a friend I made a couple years ago. I was new to the apartment complex. I was new to town, and she quickly made sure I felt safe and like I had someone to rely on. Pretty soon, after a couple hang outs, I felt something in me shift. I began to develop feelings for her, and it scared me. She only saw me as a friend, that was clear from the start.
“I’m so glad we met, Mi-Nam! You’re the sister I wish I had growing up.” She told me.
I watched as she went on countless dates, coming home each time with a broken heart and a tear stained face. It hurt, but all I could do was comfort her as she told me about all the guys who hurt her.
I wanted to tell her how I felt.
I was so close to doing so, but I couldn’t formulate how to actually speak, or when. It spilled out while she was getting ready earlier today, and we got into a fight. Nasty words flew out of my mouths. We didn’t really get loud, but I was angry enough that I blacked out, at least mentally.
And now it’s 2:53, and she’s standing at my door, keeping her gaze to the floor.
She was beaten, arms littered with bruises and scars. The sight infuriated me. Even the idea of her getting a paper cut makes my blood boil with anger. I remain calm for her sake, pulling her into my apartment. “What the hell happened to you, Dae-Hyun?” I whispered, heart wrenching at the thought of someone hurting her. She’s so kind, and sweet. She doesn’t deserve this.
She finally looks up, and my stomach knots in both anxiety and horror.
The right side of her face is covered in dry blood. Her rose-gold hair matted with dirt and the same blood on her face. Without hesitating, I raise my hand up to her hair and try to run my hand through it, a motion I’ve grown used to doing when trying to comfort her. I understand that she needs help. A doctor, the cops, anything; but I can’t bring myself to move as I scan her further. I take a better look at her and notice the deep gash in her scalp. The tiny scars covering her arms and legs. The bruises now are a deeper purple than a second ago. My eyes move to her neck, and I see handprints forming around it. I notice how her neck is angled awkwardly, as though she’s trying to keep her head from falling off her shoulders.
“Dae-Hyun, talk to me.” I whisper. Her eyes glaze over with tears as she launches herself at me, her slightly taller frame engulfing me in a tight embrace as her shoulders shake with each sob that wracks through her body. I say nothing else as I return the same tight embrace, rubbing my hand on her back. Her spine feels slightly popped out of place. I hold back my own tears as I feel another set of scars on her back. She tenses at the touch, but does nothing else. Only keeps crying into the crook of my neck.
After a few minutes pass, now past 3:00am, I pull back and place my hands on both her cheeks. “Dae-Hyun. Talk to me.” I plead once more. She shakes her head, her eyes now unfocused and dim.
“Can’t.” Her voice sounds hollow.
“Why not?” I can hear the desperation in my tone, but I can’t bring myself to care. I can only whimper as she pulls further away. “Dae-Hyun, please!” the tears started to fall, and I couldn’t stop them. I was angry at the one who hurt her. At her for going on that date. At myself for getting so angry over something so stupid. For her night, now having gone completely to shit.
Her eyes gained some focus as they shifted back over to me. “Fine. But it’s best if I take you somewhere first.” Something sinister glistened in them.
I was confused, but I wanted to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible. So, I followed her.
I didn’t bother getting anything to keep warm. I followed close behind her, noting that she didn’t want me too close. I wanted to stay close, to hold her hand and keep her directly by my side to make sure no one even looked at her wrong. Not that there were a lot of people walking at this time. But still. I decided to just stay silent and eyed anyone who got too close.
Seeing that we were reaching an emptier part of the block, just behind the apartments, nerves built up in my gut. I began to feel uneasy. “Dae-Hyun?”
“Almost there.” Vacant. She sounded so hollow and… dead. It was saddening to see someone with such a bright personality so dull. It physically hurt my heart.
Taking a look around, I recognized where we were. An alley we found a few months ago, and claimed the alley to be our special place. Just for the two of us.
She suddenly stopped walking, taking me by surprise. “We’re here.”
I take cautious steps forward to stand by her side, my eyes focused on her face. Her face holds a blank stare as her eyes stare into the ditch by the alley with such intensity. I let my gaze follow to where she looks to, and my heart drops.
Dae-Hyun lays on the cold concrete. Her body posed in a disturbing angle. She lays stomach down, but her head is completely turned to face the sky. Every scar on her is now oozing with blood, staining the ground below her and surrounding her in a dark pool. Her eyes look up to the sky as they stare at everything, but see nothing.
I can’t help the bile that rises out of my throat. I hunch over and empty the little content in my stomach. “I’m asleep..! I’m not awake!” I drop to my knees, unable to hold myself up anymore. I rub at my eyes and hope when I pull them away, I’ll be back in bed. But no. I’m on the cold floor at 3:00am, staring at my best friend.
She’s dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Dead.
I look around, and I see her stand directly in front of me. “I-I don’t understand, I-”
“You don’t remember, do you?”
Her voice carries a new tone. She sounds angry.
I shake my head, tears spilling down my cheeks as I feel a sob build up in my chest. “N-No?”
“You don’t remember.” She brings herself down to my level and forces my arms into her hands. It’s a strange sensation. Cold, clammy hands touching mine, which are burning hot. She turns my arms up, bringing my palms up and forces me to stare. Blood stains them. Dried blood. “Remember, Mi-Nam!” Her voice raises with each syllable. “Remember what you did!”
And it all hits me.
She stormed out of her apartment, crying. I followed her, wanting to apologize. She didn’t wanna hear it, saying she had to leave, or her date was gonna think she stood him up. It made my vision red with jealousy. I gripped her by the hand and dragged her out to the alley.
“No.”
I sat her down, hoping we could talk it out. She wouldn’t cooperate. She kept trying to shrug my grip off her wrist. I wasn’t having it. I was so angry. So, so, so angry. I pushed her down into that ditch. It was a nasty fall, she landed on twigs and scattered pieces of glass.
“I didn’t-”
I straddled her back and wrapped my fingers around her neck. She struggled, arms and legs flailing as she did her best to get me off of her. My anger overpowered every rational thought. I pressed my fingers down harder.
“You did this.”
“No..!”
“REMEMBER!”
“NO!”
But it was me.
Her struggling wouldn’t stop. I was getting annoyed and reached for a nearby rock. I repeatedly smashed her head, and I laughed. Oh god, I laughed as I heard her skull crack under the rock’s hits. I laughed as the blood stained her pretty rose gold hair.
“Oh god…”
I laughed as I placed my hands back on her neck and gave it a twist.
I remember feeling my world stop once I realized what I did in that moment. I had placed my hands on her face, tracing the dry tear marks along her cheeks. I remember thinking she looked so beautiful, even with scars and bruises.
“I’m so sorry.”
I remember going back home, not even bothering to wash the blood off of me. I got home, and climbed into bed. Then I heard knocking on my door at 2:47am.
I couldn’t help the chuckle that came out of me. I stared at Dae-Hyun’s lifeless body as the chuckles evolved into a laugh. Then a cackle. I crawled over to her, not caring about the blood getting on my hands. It doesn’t matter, not when I am the reason for her blood having spilled on the floor.
Police sirens blasted in the distance, but I didn’t care. I kept laughing. The sirens grew louder. I did nothing to try to hide myself.
I killed her. I killed my best friend. I couldn’t stop the laughs, I could only let it morph into sobs.
“Dae-Hyun, I’m so sorry!” I shouted as I cradled her body in my arms. I held her close and tight, hoping that maybe it really was all a dream. That I’d wake up to her in my arms, her soft brown eyes gazing into mine as she told me she wanted breakfast. That I’d have the chance to properly confess, and we’d get together.
I looked down at her, taking in how her skin now glistened under the lamp post light. Her skin was a dull grey, almost white. I brushed her hair out of her face, sobs erupting as I still processed that I did it. I did it.
I did this.
Sweet, sweet Dae-Hyun. I did this.
“I’m so sorry, my darling.”