It was time for our nightly visit to Tilly’s to make sure she locked up safely, this time Bryan was with me instead of George. As she handed Bryan and I our cups of coffee, Madam Burrow’s words rung through my head. What did she know?
“Hey Tilly, you happen to have any decaf?” I asked.
She looked surprised. Which perhaps made sense since I’d never made such a request in 10 years. But shortly after her surprise, I thought I saw a glimpse of fear. “Oh, um, I’m so sorry I emptied the decaf prior to close. I always leave the regular to clean in the morning so that you boys get your fresh cups at night.” She added, “Is that alright?” offering me the cup again.
“Ah yeah, no problem. Must be my sign to stick to caffeine!” I joked.
“Thanks for the coffee, as always,” Bryan said. “Sophie is with Millie until I can get home to check on her before midnight. You mind if I grab two donuts for those two to take with me?”
“Of course!” Tilly responded and rushed to hand Bryan two donuts.
I walked Tilly to her car before heading back to my cruiser. “You heading home now?” I hollered over to Bryan.
“Yeah. I’d rather be at home with the wife sooner than later for, you know,” Bryan answered.
“I gotchya.” I set my coffee in the cupholder and drove off. After a minute, I picked up the coffee to take a sip but hesitated. What did she know? I gently set it back in the cupholder, at least for now. Since it didn’t matter if I was home or at work, I headed back to the station and waited. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen, didn’t matter where I was.
It was 11:59 and all I could do was stare at the clock. Here we go again. The clock struck midnight.
I waited. After a few moments, I heard the station door creek open. I jumped up from my chair and looked. Nobody was there.
I held my hand on my gun as I cautiously cleared the front lobby. I glanced at the clock again. 12:01. Once I’m satisfied the building was clear, I locked the front door and headed back to the office. Before long, it was 12:05, then 12:10. This was the longest I’ve ever lasted and I still felt fine. Crazy, maybe, but otherwise fine.
I heard the front door jingle; someone was trying to get in and didn’t expect it to be locked. Then, I heard a key enter the lock and click. The door opened. My thumb slid the hood back on my holster, exposing my gun more. I positioned myself into the far dark corner of the office to get an advantageous view, without being seen.
As they stepped further into the lobby, I couldn’t quite make out who it was until I heard them speak. “It’s clear!” She yelled. “He must be in the office.”
Then I heard a second voice nearing, “Coming! God, he scared me fifteen minutes ago I wasn’t expecting him to still be up!”
Sophie and her best friend Millie began heading straight for the office. I didn’t know what was going on here, but for some reason my instinct to hide kicked in, which never happens. When it comes to fight or flight, I’m always fight. But for now, I ducked into the closet.
“Where the hell is he?” Millie asked.
I peeked through the slots, only able to make out their shoes. But I listened so carefully, I could have sworn I heard their heartbeat.
“Hm,” Sophie said. “I saw him come inside and his cruiser is still out front. He has to be here somewhere.”
“Oh my God,” Millie said. “What if he’s on the toilet, like Elvis style?”
Both girls laughed at the image and headed to the bathroom. As soon as I could, I snuck out the front and slid into my cruiser.
What is going on? Why did they think I would be passed out and come for me?
I needed backup. I drove to Bryan’s house and saw the lights still on inside his home. I stopped my cruiser down the block and tried to park in the alley way that only dumpster trucks go down and crept up to his house, peering through the window. He was laying in bed, fast asleep. I tapped on the window. No response. Then, I pounded on the window. Nothing.
I knew where his spare key was from watching him forget his own enough times and I let myself in. I hurried to his room and shook his leg. “Bryan! Wake up!” Nothing.
I saw headlights flash outside the house and hid in the closet, yet again. A grown ass man, with a gun strapped to his hip, hiding in a closet. From a tiny woman.
Sophie and Millie came inside. Millie asked, “Bryan’s out, right?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Sophie said. “I don’t know why Jake isn’t though. Where the hell do you think he went? I thought for sure I’d find him here.”
I waited until Sophie and Millie headed to the kitchen and I made a B line for the rear door. I have to get Sheriff. I jumped in my cruiser and headed to Sheriff’s. He lived on a small piece of old farmland, so I was able to drive my cruiser right up to his house without being seen on the main road. Fuck it. I smashed his window with my baton. I climbed inside and felt something warm down my arm. I had cuts all over from the window, but couldn’t even feel it over my adrenaline. I rolled him over and could feel him breathing. His pulse was normal. “Sheriff…” I whispered. “We gotta get you out of here.”
Lifting with my knees, I scooped my arms under his armpits and dragged his body out to my cruiser. I started toward the closest hospital which was outside of town and as I approached the drawbridge, I felt a loud THUD echo through the car.
Then, I felt the rumbling underneath my feet. A flat tire. I pulled over to see what the damage was and saw that all four of my tires were blown. I grabbed my flashlight and looked down the road, revealing the spike strip. Well, shit.
Then I saw a car’s headlights head toward me. I was ready to face Sophie and Millie and confront them with no mercy. But this wasn’t their car.
“Madam Burrows?” I said.
“Jake, you gotta get out of here.” She handed me her keys.
“What the hell is going on?” I yelled.
“We really don’t have time to explain, I’m so sorry. Just go get out of here!” She pleaded.
I saw more headlights coming in the distance. “Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on here.”
Madam Burrows glanced behind her shoulder and saw the cars rolling in at a high speed. “Oh God…” she whispered. “I don’t even know where to start. PLEASE! Go!”
I looked back at Sheriff’s lifeless body and quickly grabbed him and put him into her back seat. Then, I grabbed her arm.
“What are you doing?!” She asked.
“You’re coming with us, and you’re going to explain,” I demanded.
Once we were all in the car, I headed over the drawbridge and into the next town. The cars behind didn’t dare follow.
Madam Burrows sunk into the passenger seat. “I really wish you hadn’t been such a good person. My life would be so much easier.”
This time I didn’t ask. I gave her one look and she continued.
“Alright, I’ll tell you everything. For as long as anyone can remember, it’s been tradition to well, drug the cops on New Years Eve. We all come up with a new crime every year and create some sort of evidence that mischief took place the night before. It started long before my time, but I’ve been told it started out as a simple prank. But in time, they learned that once the cops had the fear instilled them that there was such great danger that was out of their control, they began treating everyone much more fairly and, in some ways, felt bonded that they believed they had all gone through this traumatic event together.” She rolled her eyes. “I know how it sounds. But like remember how after nine- eleven this country came together in a way that was unprecedented? I guess it was kind of like that in how it brought them all together and put it into perspective that writing someone for speeding really isn’t part of the big picture.”
“So why the hell are they drugging all of us and committing these crimes?” I asked.
“Well, it’s just kind of become a tradition now. Everyone here knows not to be a cop here, so it’s always outside folks who come in. We figure nobody actually gets hurt and there aren’t even any serious crimes committed, we just make it look as though there were. Nobody’s kids were ever kidnapped, parents just faked called it in to report something that didn’t happen. Well, the arson one was a bit tougher and would you believe Mitch’s house fire was completely unintentional- he was trying to light a couch on fire and the trail of gasoline went all the way back to his house. What a shame.”
Madam Burrows caught herself when she saw my face. “Right, I don’t expect you to have much sympathy there, I understand…”
“What the actual fuck!” I yelled.
She winced, sinking further into her seat. “I know, I know.”
“And what about Bryan? His wife knew this entire time?”
Madam Burrows nodded. “Yes, Sophie knows. She grew up here and although she does love Bryan, she feels this tradition is what keeps him grounded and she is one of the biggest advocates to continue.”
I couldn’t believe it. All this time, I thought I lived in a cursed town but really, just a fucked up crazy little town. “What did you drug him with?” I asked as I pointed to Sheriff.
“Usually roofies. In your coffee…”
The coffee. “That’s why you told me decaf, isn’t it?” I asked.
She nodded.
“But Sheriff wasn’t even with us. So how did he get it?”
“Tilly always stops by his house and offers him a new years donut and fresh coffee to help get him through the night.”
“And George? I didn’t even get to check on him yet.”
“George is fine. He always winds up at the bar and it’s easy enough to slip into his drink there and they make sure he’s taken care of. I promise, you guys are never hurt.”
“Never hurt?!” My voice began to grow raspy.
“I’m sorry,” She shamefully offered.
I began to slow the car down.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“If it’s just roofies and he’s had it every year with no reaction, I don’t think he needs to go to the hospital. Unless you know something else you aren’t sharing…”
“No, no. You’re right. I don’t think there’s really a need. But I wouldn’t go back there if I were you.”
She was right, I shouldn’t go back there. But I was seeing red. “Oh, I’m going back,” I said and threw a U turn.
I headed across the draw bridge and navigated into the grass to avoid the spike strips. All of the cars were gone so I headed to Bryan’s to confront Sophie. When I got there, Sophie and Millie were sitting on the coach and Bryan was still asleep, or unconscious I should say, in his bedroom. When I burst through the door the women jumped. “Jake!” they exclaimed.
“Sit the fuck down.” I commanded. I didn’t yell, but I didn’t need to. I had their attention.
They sat nearly in perfect unison.
“You’re all crazy. I’m going to arrest each and every one of you in this entire town.”
They sat in silence.
Madam Burrows had apparently been standing in the doorway. I didn’t realize she ever got out of the car. “Jake,” she said. “Maybe we can work through this another way.”
“How could we possibly get past this?” I asked.
Sophie stood up and looked me in the eye. “I am truly sorry. But this is how we keep our town both safe and happy. It blurs the line between law enforcement and civilians. There’s no thin blue line here, there’s just that drawbridge between us and the rest of the world.”
I finally let a bit of my guard down and sat down. They didn’t feel they could trust us. As far as I knew, we never did anything to give them that impression. What am I missing? “This isn’t going to continue. But what can we do to still let you feel safe?” I offered.
I started to feel hopeful that maybe there was a way to move forward. As Sophie talked, her and Bryan’s cat jumped into my lap. I gave him a few friendly pats and responded to Sophie, “I hear you. I just-“ and was interrupted by a huge sneeze.
“Oh gosh, that’s right. You’re allergic! I forgot.” Sophie jumped up. “We have some Allegra or Benodryl here somewhere,” and she began to open the kitchen cupboard.
“No, I’m fine.” I said.
“No, no. Here,” she insisted and handed me one bottle of Allegra and a glass of tap water.
That’s the last thing I remember. I woke up in UW Hospital in Seattle, hours away. The nurses told me someone had dropped me off but they had no further information.
Sure, I thought about going back to warn Bryan and Sheriff, but caring and putting others first had gotten me here in the first place. I won’t make that mistake again.