My friend and i went to a house party when we were 15. previously we had just watched christiane f. ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christiane_F._(film) ) (read that if you don’t know the movie already). my friend was absolutely in love with a boy she had already been with. for anonymity we’ll call him mary. we went with my current at the time girlfriend and elise, anonymity again, my friend, and and her current at the time boyfriend we’ll call him dom and we’ll call my girlfriend imogen.
we had invited to a houseparty by people we werent familiar with, we asked our parters and they said yes. when we arrived, nothing seemed out of the ordinary and of course there was drugs and alcohol but nothing too bad.
we hadn’t been told of the presence of our previous partners mary and joanne (my ex girlfriend). sidenote joanne was/is a heroin addict and her kink was popping her cysts on me. throughout the night joanne was trying to hit me with her heroin needles to attempt to give me aids and i will admit it gave me a little buzz. this made imogen jealous and then imogen went akka on joanne and started popping her cysts causing joanne to climax all over the bench. during this mary was playing mary on a cross by ghost very loudly and was on a high from telling everyone he was musically gifted (manic). back to joanne and imogens little quarrel causing dom to use the puss from joannes cysts as lube to rape my friend elise. This caused elise to go in to a psychotic rage and snort lots of meth like walter white and she was off her rocka for the whole night chucking crack spoons off me that she had gathered from joanne throughout the night. This was very arousing to me and so i proceeded to give elise a hot wax massage and then i noticed she got a full brazilian in the hopes that she might’ve seen mary. meanwhile my girlfriend imogen cut magic mushrooms julianne style and sautéed them in an iron skillet and seasoned them with garlic salt attempting to make a soup. she scranned the whole thing and was sick in my mouth causing the best second hand high of my life.
the mushrooms made me feel mischevious so i suggested to imogen that we go and ransack joannes bag to find whatever substances she had brought to this god awful house party. joanne had a ancient river island hand bag (she was a chav) that was literally fossilised. it stunk of liva giippa. in the bag we discovered a crack pipe and some mysterious white powder. we didnt know what it was so we went downstairs and questioned joanne about this powder and she tried to take it off of us so i launched at her hitting her over the head with a crack pipe knocking her clean out. me and imogen high fived in glory. naturally we tied joanne to the dining table with some ropes we found in her rancid handbag and went to investigate the substance that was in joannes bag we just assumed the it was crack so we went into the bathroom and we lit the crack pipe and started to take large tokes of this quite large crack pipe we were as high as the sky.
30 minutes go by and we hear a commotion in the dining room, we go to have a look and see mary torturing joanne with nettles out of the garden by inserting them in to her anus and elise witch cackling on the floor. imogen proceeded to go and tickle joanne. joanne was screaming out hysterically, this made me chuckle.
elise went beserk after seeing mary lick the sore that began forming on joannes anal crevis. she started running around asking people to put her in the bath and scrub her skin off and say that they were washing the sin off of her like her dad used to do when she was younger. no one took the offer so she ripped out marys long hair and proceeded to shove it down her throat and strangle herself with it. during all of this she was screaming the chorus of mary on a cross because it was her and marys song. her last words were “and if you choose to run away fron here i will tickle you internally” rest in piece my best friend.
after that everyone was gobsmacked, i was absolutely hysterically crying while performing cunninglingus on a houseplant, this caused imogen to also hysterically cry we were both in utter dispair.
the host asked everyone to leave and asked me to dispose of elise’s dead body i asked imogen for help but she just told me that she loved joanne now and they left in a taxi at sunrise with a just married banner trailing behind them and they shot a flare at me.
i disposed of elises body in headgates and was found guilty of murder 2 weeks later wrongfully. but was put in a physc ward for rights of insanity.
#notsponsoredbychristianef.