My sister is three years younger than me so, ever since we were small, I’ve always looked out for her and tried to protect her. When we were young I would always take charge and lead the way, that changed when we got older though. When she turned 7 she started getting more sure of herself, started taking charge too, 10 year old me wasn’t happy. We started fighting around that age, not actual fist fights, but a lot intense arguments over lego pieces, whether to play hide and seek or catch, you know, serious issues. Her name is Sarah by the way, she’s 25 now and she’s a lawyer at a big shot law firm in Seattle, she’s always been the smart one!
I’m telling you about her because that’s who I was thinking about when that day started, it started off a bit like any other day actually, normal life can be pretty boring sometimes. My alarm started ringing and I hastly and confidently hit snooze, but I couldn’t go back to sleep. I remembered the dream I’d just woken up from.
Playing with Hot-Wheels on a newly built track on Christmas, it was a specific Christmas, when I was 12. I had just built the track and started to drop the cars down it pretending I was the driver. I asked my sister if she wanted to play too, she eagerly accepted. But after a couple minutes of racing, she said we should change the game and instead pretend like we were police cars in a high speed pursuit. I immediately accepted.
I started to think about how I had lost that “take charge attitude” from when I was a little kid. Hell, today I don’t even say anything to people when they cut me in line at the supermarket. I wondered about my sister’s role in that change in my personality, if me agreeing to play another game so automatically that day was the start of my insecurities and shyness, my passive response to everything.
I always get introspective and start overanalyzing things in the mornings before I get up, but I’m usually over it by the time I get out of bed, and I did, put on some clothes and that’s when I noticed a man on the… That square with glass, on the wall, that let’s you see… I also forget words in the morning, anyway, the man was walking alone. He wore blue jeans and a salmon colored t-shirt, with a large drawing of an avocado on it. I had the feeling I knew him, maybe not know him, but I thought I had seen him before. I looked down for some shoes and when I looked back up the man was no longer there. I wondered about this man and about the subtle fear I felt when I saw him. I knew him, maybe not.
I finished getting ready, I was going to meet my sister for lunch.
I got to the restaurant a little early.
It was getting colder, I thought.
My brown jacket wiggled with the subtle wind that passed by me, taking whatever shape the wind commanded. I thought about my passiveness again, how I was much like the jacket, flowing wherever others pushed me. I always overanalyze things when I’m waiting for someone, but I usually get over it pretty quickly. My sister’s car pulled over, she got out and payed the meter and then strolled torwads me happily.
I greeted her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Sarah said we should go inside, it was getting cold after all. I nooded and started to move towards the door, that’s when a glanced over my left shoulder, I don’t know why I did, but I felt the urge to.
I saw him again, the same man I saw in the morning. He was closer this time, on the other side of the street, walking alone like before. I felt like I knew him, but maybe not. As my eyes wondered somewhere else he vanished, just like earlier I saw him only for a moment.
There was something about him, he looked normal, nothing special, but there was this aura around him, I couldn’t quite figure out the reason for it, for this sense of fear he instilled in me. He looked hateful and calm at the same time. Angry, but composed. I tend to overanalyze things, I know that.
We got to our table and I started reading the menu immediately, I was hungry. Sarah did the same, we talked about what we were going to eat. I was on the fence, on one hand the porterhouse looked good, dry aged, 20 ounces, good size for the price. But my sister noticed they had a tasting menu, she noted that we would get to try more things if we ordered it, she was right and so that’s what we ordered.
I noticed the man again, this time through the window next to the entrance, he had crossed the street. He was looking angrier, more hateful than before. I knew him, I was starting to realize that.
Well, maybe not.
He looked sure of himself, unlike me. I never looked sure of myself, always let someone else take the lead, content to watch life as secondary character, not even that actually. If I’m being honest I’m more like an NPC, my interactions with others were few and devoided of meaning, except with my sister. She is my younger sister after all and I always tried to protect her.
The man was gone again, just like before I saw him only for a moment. His intentions remained a mistery to me, but I could feel his hatred simmering, slowly and gradually increasing. He wasn’t there anymore but I still felt his somber presence. Who was he?
My sister’s words brought me back to reality, my thoughts stopped wondering. Sarah wanted to talk to me about something, she’d told me before.
“We need to decide what to do about dad’s company” she said.
My father had passed a few months earlier and he left us each a 50% stake in his business, we were to either run it together or sell it and split the money. It wasn’t a big company, hell not even a medium sized one, just a small decorating firm with a handful of employees and a couple regular clients. Not the most profitable business, but still more interesting than anything I was doing with my life.
“I think we should sell it, he owned the building and there’s a warehouse full of supplies and equipment. We could make a decent amount each if we find the right buyer” Sarah argued.
I didn’t agree, I thought we should run it together. That’s what Dad would’ve wanted.
My sister didn’t buldge though. She said things at work were crazy at the moment, she was working a very important case and had her hands full and then explained me that I wouldn’t be able to run the business without her help so we probably should just sell it and be done with it.
My first instinct was to agree, after all that’s who I was. I was passive. I let the wind guide me, never moved on my own will, never disagreed with anyone. Never argued or complained.
That’s when I saw him again, he was sitting a few tables away from us inside the restaurant, the closest he’d been to me all day. I knew him, I felt it.
But again, maybe not.
His presence was heavier than before, the hatred spilled out from his familar body, his aura of fear growing on me.
That’s when I decided to be proactive for once and told my sister what I wanted to do with our dad’s business. This led to an argument, nothing serious, but still enough for the man to notice it from his table.
He was closer now, I noticed as I listened to my sister’s well founded arguments for as to why we should sell. Sarah was a lawyer so I couldn’t really do much to counter her well prepared logical thesis. My passiveness was gaining ground again, as usual, and I started to realize she may be right. She’d always been the smart one.
The man was no longer there, just like before, a few moments and he vanished.
Did he pay? I thought. Did he eat anything? Who is he?
I knew him, I was sure of it.
Maybe not.
We had come to a conclusion, my sister and I, we were going to sell the business. It made sense. I knew it, but maybe it didn’t.
I asked her why she said I wouldn’t be able to run the firm alone. I wanted to know what she meant by that.
She let out a sigh and told me I was a bit of a pushover, I didn’t stand up for myself. Always flowed with the wind, never stopping to think about where I wanted to go. She was right.
It hurt nonetheless.
I started thinking about the man again, he had been following me. Messing with me. And I did nothing, I was a push over. I was just a spectator of my own life. I knew it.
We started to argue, I was hurt by what she said and resorted to making her feel bad by pointing out that dad would’ve wanted us to run the company together, that she was tarnishing his memory.
Sarah was visible hurt by that statement and said she needed some air. She got up and headed towards the door. I knew it wasn’t true, I knew I was overanalyzing things again. But for some reason I couldn’t stop myself from saying it anyway.
I decided I should go talk to Sarah, she was my younger sister after all.
I stood up and started walking to the door.
I saw him again, he was back and a lot closer this time, seated only one table over from ours. He looked enraged, but did nothing of note to make think he was so. But i knew he was. I could fell his hatred boiling over.
I knew him, maybe not.
I slid the door open and turned the corner to the alley next to the restaurant, I assumed my sister would be there. I should talk to her.
And that’s when I saw him again.
How did he go from the restaurant to the alley without crossing me? How did he do it so fast?
Those were all great questions.
I was so focused on him that I didn’t notice my sister squirming at his feet.
Her eyes were bloodied and swole, the once straight and tiny nose was now a puddle of shattered bone, blood and gravel from the ground were she layed.
He wasn’t done yet though.
That man grabbed her by the hair and lifted her face until she was starring right at his belt, his knee then made a sudden movement and collided with her mess of a nose.
Blood spewed out and she cried aloud.
His right hand wrapped around her throat confidently, with more confidence than I ever had, and he started punching.
Again and again she cried for help but I couldn’t move.
“Please!!” she wailed at me.
You see, I was like the jacket. I flowed with the wind. I went where it pushed me and never resisted or complained.
He kept punching her. His knuckles, now bloodied and tired, made him change the approach.
He picked her up and threw her against the floor.
Now it was easier.
He started to kick her ribs, not the head, that would do it too fast.
He broke a few of them, and the shattered fragments of the bones that once protected her lungs, now penetrated deep into to them, ripping the pleura easily and letting the blood in to drown her from the inside.
She didn’t scream anymore.
My sister could only produced a gargling gasping sound, the blood filled her throat from the lungs bellow and gushed from the shattered nose above.
He began to stomp on her throat, breaking the cartilage of the trachea.
The squirming had stopped by then.
The gasping sounds as well, she had suffocated in her own blood.
As I looked at the deformed bloodied body of my sister I had kind of an “out of body experience”.
I couldn’t move and so I just stood there, looking at myself and thinking about what I’d just seen, who that man was and why he did this thing to Sarah and thinking about our argument.
This is where my focus landed, I started to realize that my sister only left because of the fight, how having that silly argument caused all this.
That man would never have been able to be with her alone if it wasn’t for that, I thought.
A strong gasp of wind made me regain control, I didn’t quite know how much time had passed and the man was no longer there, much like the rest of the day, I only saw him for a small amount of time.
The wind was getting stronger, I realized I had forgotten my jacket inside so I was only wearing a t-shirt.
A salmon colored t-shirt, with a large drawing of an avocado on it.