One night my friend Taylor and I were driving around town looking for someplace to eat. Living in a big city with literally a thousand places to eat is a lot like having a TV with a thousand channels at times. There’s no limit to the possibilities, but sometimes you still can’t make up your mind about what sounds good. We were tired of all our usual places and wanted something new, but couldn’t figure our what that should be. I was just about to turn around and order a pizza when I saw it.
Inside a massive strip mall was a large restaurant with a sign over the top saying it was the Buttered Roll Buffet. The place looked brand new, and the parking lot was packed, which was saying something because the parking lot was big.
“Shall we give it a try?” I asked Taylor.
“Sounds good to me.”
We parked in the first spot we could find and went inside. Once we walked through the glass entryway which was lined with paintings I barely glanced at, we arrived at the hostess’s station. The restaurant was massive, and the floor was packed with tables while wooden booths lined the walls.
As the hostess seated us, I was hit with a thousand different smells at once. The minute we both gave our drink order we were free to head up to the buffet and grab a plate. The place was filled with activity because the restaurant’s patrons were all circling each buffet section and examining the potential items to try. I didn’t blame them one bit, because the buffet was a sight to see.
The salad station was filled with romaine and iceberg lettuce, spinach, and arugula all sitting on a massive pile of ice. There were also large dishes of Caesar salad and a huge bowl of coleslaw made with vinegar dressing. Alongside that sat shimmering piles of dressing and further down was a huge bowl of ambrosia salad and a colorful spread of melons and berries.
At the front was a station filled with appetizers. Deviled eggs, crab wontons, jalapeno poppers, fried mushrooms, mozzarella sticks, potato skins, and potato and tortilla chips fresh from the fryer sat beside queso dip, salsa, and guacamole,
The next row was filled with meat dishes; spare rib, fried chicken, pulled pork, several types of chicken wings including buffalo, meatloaf, hamburgers, ham, roast beef, pork chops, and chicken fingers.
Behind that was a station dedicated to Italian food. Pizza with varying types of toppings, lasagna, penne, fettuccine alfredo, rigatoni, spaghetti with meatballs, and calzones were perched next to heaping piles of garlic bread and breadsticks that glistened in the intense heat lamps.
Seafood was located next to the salad, and one half was filled with hot entries, and the other was chilled. The chilled section was filled with smoked salmon, shrimp cocktail, tuna salad, and oysters, while the hot section was loaded with crab legs, coconut shrimp, clam chowder, fried clams, calamari, fried perch, tuna casserole, and crab cakes.
A station dedicated to side dishes was filled with mashed potatoes, fried potatoes in several forms, cheesy potatoes, macaroni and potato salad, baked beans, macaroni and cheese, pasta salad, and onion rings.
But the most impressive spread of all was the desserts. It was massive. A self-serve ice cream machine that offered vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry was beside a spot to make your own strawberry shortcake. Farther down a chocolate cake with icing that gleamed in the light sat beside baklava, massive slabs of cheesecake, tiramisu, chocolate chip cookies, apple turnovers, fresh baked blueberry and cinnamon muffins, donuts, peach cobbler, banana pudding, and coffee cake.
Taylor and I eventually each loaded up a plate and returned to our table. Neither of us said a word as we chowed down. It was all delicious and in no time at all, we’d finished what we got and went back for a second plate, taking care to get what we’d been unable to try last time simply because we didn’t have big enough plates.
It didn’t take long for us to get full and before long we asked for the check, paid and left a good-sized tip, and slowly walked out of the buffet.
“That was the best buffet I’ve ever been to in my life, no question.” Taylor said once we were back in the car.
“Me too.” I nodded as I started the car. “It’s no wonder that place is packed.”
“We’ll have to come back.”
“Absolutely. For all I ate I still didn’t get to try everything I wanted.”
“Me either.”
I dropped Taylor off at his condo before I went back to my own place. In the morning I was still so full I could barely manage a bagel. But by lunchtime, I was slowly starting to feel like I could eat normally again. Which was good because that evening I was expected at a dinner party at my cousin Jocelyn’s house on the west side of town.
I arrived right on schedule at 6 and after some appetizers of buffalo chicken dip and stuffed artichokes, the 7 of us all gathered around for some roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, baked carrots, and spinach salad. While everyone was having some pineapple upside down cake for dessert and chatting, Howard, my cousin’s husband, looked up at everyone.
“Did everyone hear about that apartment building that caught fire last week?”
Everyone around the table murmured a yes.
“The sister-in-law of one of the people who died is my coworker. She said that night she had gone out with her brother-in-law at that new Buttered Roll Buffet place.
“I just went there for the first time,” I said.
“How was it?” Josh, another dinner party guest, asked.
“Tasty.”
“Jocelyn and I went there the other day for the first time.” Howard said. “It was delicious.”
“I’ve heard it’s amazing.” Josh said.” I’ll have to try it.”
“You’ll enjoy it.” Howard added before taking a sip of coffee.
The rest of the week passed without anything interesting happening and time went on until it had been some time since Taylor and I had our first meal at the buffet. It wasn’t until the next month we decided to go back. The experience walking in was the same as the first time, with the competing smells of food greeting you. And just like last time, we ate a wide variety of food until we were full. The place was even fuller than last time, with each table full so we sat in a booth. On one trip up to the buffet I noticed the people at the booth next to us. The man had closely cropped black hair and the woman had thick blond curls. I politely nodded my head and said hello when I made eye contact with them, and they did the same.
Taylor and I left just as full as last time, and we went our separate ways to go home to relax. But I still felt full as I went to bed. The following morning I was beginning to feel something resembling an appetite again, so I made my way to the kitchen to make myself some oatmeal for breakfast. I was waiting for the microwave to finish when I saw on my phone that there had been a nasty car accident last night on a highway about 15 minutes away. A truck had lost control and absolutely totaled an SUV.
My jaw dropped when I saw the couple involved were the people we’d sat next to at the buffet last night. Ignoring my oatmeal for the moment, I texted Taylor.
“That’s terrible.” He texted back quickly. “But that buffet is most definitely last meal worthy.”
“It certainly is.”
I eventually finished my oatmeal and went on with my day. It was another month before I was remotely ready to go back to the Buttered Roll Buffet, but one day after Taylor and I went out hiking with some friends, we were ready. And just like before, the buffet was more than ready for us. Cody and Justin, the two friends we’d gone hiking with, had never been to the place before, and they were just in awe of it as we’d been.
This time they had a station for waffles and crepes with toppings you could choose from. I went with banana, peanut butter, and chocolate, while Taylor went with strawberries and cream. Then it was off to get some chicken parmesan, baked ziti, and antipasto salad. Meanwhile, Cody and Justin were waiting at the panini station where a smiling chef was customizing sandwiches for patrons. Cody got a ham and cheddar, while Justin got a turkey and gouda.
We all ate plenty and once our bill was paid, we strolled out at a leisurely pace. Once we got in Taylor’s car, he turned on the radio and we sat in a peaceful silence as we drove to Justin’s where our cars were all parked.
We were almost to his house when there was a detour sign blocking off the main road, so we had to take a route that added 15 minutes to the drive. It took us to a part of town that was quiet with houses spaced far apart from each other. The area had been bought by a bunch of companies for development. But for what I had no idea.
Taylor eventually turned right onto a stretch of road near an abandoned warehouse. By now it was pitch dark out and the few streetlights the area did have cast a sickly glow onto the pavement. I would not want to be one of the few houses on this street.
But when we were halfway down the street, Taylor slammed on the brakes because the road was obstructed by a massive SUV that was parked in the middle of the road with its doors ajar. I looked around and there was no one in sight, nor was there any sign of an accident. Something about the situation gave me a bad feeling. Something was up, I just didn’t know what.
“What’s going on?” Taylor asked everyone in the car.
“I don’t know, but I don’t like it.” Cody muttered. “Let’s go back the way we came.”
“Especially because that’s the only way we can go.” I added. “You can’t go around it.”
Taylor nodded briefly and made a deft turn around. But just as he was about to start back down the way we came, I saw a flash of movement come out of a nearby alley, and a bunch of men in dark clothing emerged into the clearing. We weren’t close enough to see their faces or make out their features, but the minute they saw us I heard angry yelling, and Taylor floored it out of there.
I did my best to ignore the sickening lurch in my stomach as I looked in the passenger side mirror and saw the group of strangers pile into their SUV and immediately start to follow us.
My chest felt uncomfortably tight as I clenched my hands into fists and tried to stay calm.
From behind me, I saw Cody and Justin had also noticed we were being followed. Taylor also did, but to his credit all he did was take a deep breath and try to focus. No small feat considering the car following us seemed to be gaining on us. If they caught us or we wrecked out here we were in serious trouble. But after a moment I saw Taylor’s eyes light up.
“Cody, can you see that box there on the floor by your feet?” He asked.
“Yeah, what about it?”
“I’ve been helping my uncle with some maintenance work at his loft. That box is full of nails. I want you or Justin to roll down the window and dump them all in the road behind us.”
“I’ll do it.” Cody quickly nodded and picked up the box. As I looked in the backseat, I saw that it was stuffed to the top with nails in various sizes.
“Slowly shake them out so they’re spread everywhere on the road,” Taylor instructed.
Cody nodded and looked a bit pale as he rolled down the window and a chilly breeze filled the air, but he slowly tipped the box in our wake, and all the nails began to scatter on the road. In the dim lights they cast a silver gleam as they spread and rolled across the blacktop in every direction.
The SUV behind us took notice of that after a moment and tried to swerve to avoid the nails, but since they were everywhere it was impossible. In an instant they drove over some and I saw the vehicle swerve unsteadily and go off the road, only to collide with a signpost.
We all cheered and patted Taylor on the back while he got us out of there and drove to my house, which was the closest one. On the way, I called the police and told them what happened. They agreed to check out the road and meet us at my place. When I hung up, I was on edge for the rest of the drive, as I was afraid there were more of them out there or they’d find some way to come back and follow us. I sighed with relief when we finally got to my duplex where the police were indeed waiting for us.
They found the crashed car that had spun out because of the nails. All four people in it had suffered some kind of injury. It turns out all four of them were well known to law enforcement from past incidents. But this time they got caught, as they had been up to no good in that part of town when the four of us stumbled upon them.
The next bit of information they gave us made my blood run cold. When the authorities searched the area, they discovered the business the four men had been up to when we found them. The four strangers had kidnapped a man, but he’d managed to escape on that stretch of road, and he ran far enough away that the four men followed him until they gave up and he stayed hidden until he saw the police sirens. That was why the car had been pulled over so randomly. I don’t even want to imagine what they would’ve done to him had they caught him. Or us, had they caught up with Taylor’s car.
The cops eventually thanked us for our quick thinking and left. The four of us were exhausted, but we knew there was no way we were gonna be able to sleep after that, so we hung around. At some point, a thought in my head clicked and I remembered something. We had almost encountered disaster after eating at that buffet, like several other people around town.
I took out my phone and after some searching, I found there were many other cases of people encountering disaster or near disaster after eating at that buffet. The incidents ranged from accidents to events like ours. It was uncanny to see. I told the other three what I thought, and they sat there silently.
“I know what you mean Craig, and I can’t explain it,” Taylor eventually said. “Sometimes there are just things you can’t explain. Things that are beyond coincidence. I don’t know what to call it, but I don’t disagree with you.”
“Remember how you said that place was last meal worthy?” I asked.
“I do. I can’t stop thinking about that either. But one thing I know for sure is that I’m not exactly keen on going to that buffet ever again.”
“Me either.” I agreed.
We eventually went our separate ways and spent the next few days trying to get some sense of normalcy back. Part of that included avoiding the buffet at all costs. I didn’t even want to drive past it.
But even I wasn’t prepared for a news headline I saw about two weeks later. I’d just finished my morning coffee when I saw that the buffet had been the victim of a terrible fire late the previous evening. According to the fire department, the fire had taken place when the buffet was closed, and no one was there. But then things got weirder, because virtually all the damage was limited to the entryway and the buffet’s front, with the glass entryway and the walls lining it sustaining most of the damage. As if to cap off the weirdness, the fire chief said that there was a pending investigation but didn’t flat out say the fire was intentional. Not that he needed to.
I sat there with my coffee in one hand, my phone in another. Someone had set fire to the buffet, but focused on the entryway? That was oddly specific. But then I remembered something. Those weird paintings lining the walls as diners walked past on their way in and out. Was that what the fire was supposed to destroy?
A quick search turned up an article about the buffet’s opening. I skimmed through the usual stuff and went straight to the pictures of the restaurant and stopped when I saw a photo of the entryway. I’d never really taken a good look at it before, but now I was, and the paintings were downright creepy looking to me. In the restaurant’s regular lighting they were indecipherable, but in the sharp light from photography they were unsettling. Some paintings showed vague humanoid shapes crawling on the ground and scratching for what looked like food, while others showed similar looking shapes gathered together with sick grins on their faces.
I had no desire to look further. All I know is that my friends and I will never go back to that buffet again, if it ever reopens. There are plenty of other options, and plenty more new places will come. That’s what I love most about a big city. It’s ceaseless change. There’s always something new to see, try, or experience.