My girlfriend, who I’ll call GF, begged me to go shopping with her this weekend. I distinctly said no, but after a back and forth I said yes just to make her happy.
Saturday started as normal with me taking a shower, brushing my teeth, and eating breakfast. Once both me and GF were ready we drove off.
We started off with the mall mainly going to clothing stores, but after I got bored of saying my GF looks good in the clothes she put on. I went to the more fun stores like GameStop and the Arcade.
It was around 1 and both me and my GF were hungry, but we didn’t want to eat at the mall since the restaurants there were all places we’ve already been to. We left the mall and planned to go to the nearby market after we ate. I was driving, not really paying attention when GF went crazy pointing at this restaurant that both me and her had never seen. It was called “Jeremy is Delicious”. GF thought it was a funny name and wanted to eat there. Me just wanting to get this day over with, agreed to eat there.
We entered the restaurant and it was really cold. It was summer, but the air conditioning must have been at its max. I looked around the restaurant and it had a weird theme. The wallpaper was purple with dark oak pillars every now and then, but the weird part was the ceiling. There were pictures of who I’m guessing is Jeremy all over. Jeremy had a really creepy grin with teeth that were really yellow and eyes that looked like they had seen everything. His chef’s hat and clothes looked like they were all beaten up and dirty and while I was busy looking at the ceiling I hadn’t even looked at the weird menu.
I looked back down trying not to think of Jeremy when I noticed the menu. The menu all had weird puns for its names such as “Jeremy fried” which I guessed was French fries and “Jeremy’s fingers” which GF thought was chicken fingers. We both guessed that this place was most likely for kids and navigated through the menu and solved the riddles. I ordered a “Jeremy finger soup” and GF ordered a “Jeremy Patty’’ with “Jeremy Fried”
Our food arrived and it looked kind of funny. We guessed that they were staying with the theme. GF went to town eating her burger and fries while I hesitated with my soup. I plunged my fork into my food and lifted my first slab of chicken. I almost puked when I saw what was on my fork. I look at my fork with disgust and curiosity as a finger rested on my fork. GF looked up at my fork and looked at her food and spit it all out. So clearly this restaurant didn’t have a theme. Clearly we were eating Jeremy. I hear the entire restaurant go into chaos as they also realize they had been eating a human this entire time. GF looks at me and says “We have to go”. We both get up not paying the bill when GF collapses. In Fact everyone who ate the food had collapsed. There was just me and 2 other people who desperately tried to carry their partner out of the restaurant.
I grabbed my GF by the armpit and went to drag her out of the restaurant when I looked up and saw a waitress. “Leaving so soon?” she asked. I just stared up at her emotionless. I didn’t know if she was going to attack me or if I was able to leave. I looked at the other people that were still awake and they were also surrounded. I quickly ran out of the restaurant when I remembered I left my GF inside. I turned around to open the door. It wouldn’t budge. I started to kick and ram and furiously pound the door, but nothing. I pressed my ear to the door and heard as the other people were meeting their fate. I dialed 9-1-1 and told them the story. They didn’t believe me, they thought I was on drugs. I immediately ended the call and looked at the door of the restaurant in disbelief. What sick bastard would sell and kill humans.
I went to therapy, but no matter what method I tried I just couldn’t get over what had happened at the restaurant. I didn’t go to work, I got fired, I became homeless. I was walking the street 2 months after the incident when I saw a new restaurant. It was called “GF is Delicious”.