This happened to me a few months ago, I was hanging with this girl I’d been talking to for a weeks. She was pretty cool but she was the care free if I die I die type of person. Which really isn’t the kind of mine set I like but I knew I wasn’t going to change her mind. Any way, we hung out several times and just smoked wax, not something I normally do. But I wasn’t feeling my best and I just didn’t wanna feel anything so I smoked it. One time as we were smoking I kinda blacked out but snapped out of it for a few seconds and scared her.
But the last time I coughed the wax up for like a good couple of minutes and everything got bright, what I experienced is extremely difficult to explain but I’ll try my best. I remember leaning towards her but really slowly and she tried to sit me up and talk to me. And something inside me snapped. I jumped up off my bed, getting on my knees saying I’m sorry over and over. But in my head, (and I can’t stress this when I say it went over and over, it replay hundreds maybe thousands of times) while living in an apartment building I screamed very very loudly IM IN HELL!!
And one of the one way tickets to hell Is to hurt a woman. Like in the way NO MAN should hurt a woman. I didn’t and would never but in my frantic state of mind it made sense. Not only am I screaming IM IN HELL but Im screaming I’m doing that heinous act to her. Which completely terrified me I could only imagine how she felt. I guess I started to run around my room knocking things over. That’s when the voices started to whisper to me. I don’t remember much of what they said but it was her voice. I was in so much mental pain.
I started to come to, laying on my back with eyes focused on my ceiling. It’s blurry but I can see her face for a few seconds. Then I blacked out again, she ran out of my apartment. Fast forward to when the police show up, I’m obviously the crazy person running around causing problems. I never see the police so in my mind I’m just being attacked by something. So I’m running from whatever pain I’m feeling. And when I tell you I’m screaming bloody murder trust me it’s an understatement. I don’t know what the police are doing to me but I have visions of smashing my face into a glass window over and over and over to the point where I laugh to myself and say I’ve been doing this for ETERNITY.
And each time I hit the window it’s slightly harder, and I can LITERATURE distinguish that I’m hitting it harder and harder and more violently each time. Until my flesh is peeled off and my face is completely crushed, yet I’m still forever colliding face-first into the window for ETERNITY. Suddenly I’m drowning in an ocean of blades, each movement is incredibly excruciating. But I keep moving because I’m just so terrible. Because running hasn’t worked I decided to fight back. That when I hear OWWW HE’S GOUGING MY EYE!!!
That snaps me out, finding myself face first in the glass. I finally just give up, begging and hoping someone to end my ETERNAL TORMENT. I ask them to kill me. I black out again but this time I come to with my wrist in pain in the back seat of a car. I finally start to sober up to realize that everything that I thought was happening technically was and wasn’t happening. I remember sitting in the police station repeating “That was real”. I spend a few hours in jail sleeping. But the feeling hasn’t stopped, when I got bailed out of jail I went to a friend’s house and was scared to go to sleep.
I thought I’d fall asleep just to wake back up in Hell. Or really hurt someone this time. Thankfully I did neither but I do have frequent night terrors, where I’m screaming in my dream, and right before I scream in the real world I jump awake. Kinda funny but a couple of days ago I woke up, jumped out of bed, and started to unscrew my light bulb while ass naked. It felt like I was trying to hide from something.
I joked and thought maybe that girl was a witch but I know it was the wax. But with what I experienced that night I’m not sure. It’s really twisted my psyche, I was the type of person who strongly believed that if you harm someone like I thought harmed someone that night. You absolutely deserve everything you get. But struggling, if what I went through was indeed Hell. I included even with the worst people in human history. I HOPE YOU DON’T HAVE THE MISFORTUNE TO GET WHAT YOU TRULY DESERVE.