Potential Trigger Warning: minor gore
It happened awhile ago and I still have nightmares over what took place on April 16th, 2015. I don’t know where to post this, but I really need to get this off my chest. I never told anyone about it. Whatever…here goes…
I’m the reason one of my best friends is dead. Not technically, of course. Legally, I’m clean. I’ll start from the beginning. My friends and I were going fishing on a charter boat. It was a spring weekend, no chance of rain. My friend Nick arranged it, as usual. He invited me, Ashley and her boyfriend, Jason, along. We’d gone fishing many times before, so it was business as usual. The boat would go out into the sound and we would spend the day drinking, joking with one another and hopefully catching fish. That should have been it. I assure you I’m horrified at what happened. I don’t know what came over me… it was impulsive…
When we got on the boat, we found some rods in the back, cracked open a few beverages and waited for the boat to head out. The sun was beating down on us, and I hadn’t applied enough sunscreen. I suppose now, that was only the beginning of my worries.
Soon the boat set sail and we were fishing. Everyone was having a good time, and we even caught a few fish. It was around this time, the midway point of our trip, when Ashley got seasick and Jason rushed her inside the boat to get medicine. It was just Nick and I now. I don’t know what I was thinking. But… I thought it would be funny, okay? I made a joke with Nick. I said I would throw him over. He looked at me and dared me to try it. I pretended to push him over but of course, the boat rail stopped him. Besides, its not like the sea was rough that day, so it wouldn’t be that bad if one of us went over.
We laughed and I thought we were done with it, so I went to put new bait on my line, when suddenly Nick started pushing me forward. Was he trying to toss me over? I knew I couldn’t let this slide. I grabbed one of his legs and lifted him. I was only going to put him halfway over, we were laughing. I wasn’t actually going to do it. When…
BOOM! The boat hit a huge wave. It launched into the air. I remember Nicks smile fading into a look of pure fear as I watched him fall headfirst overboard. “Omg, I’m so sorry Nick!”, I tried to yell but I don’t think he heard me. It wasn’t my fault. I ran to get the captain. I screamed, “Man overboard”. Passengers came to look. The captain prepared to turn around.
There wasn’t time. I knew Nick was not the best swimmer. I did what I could. I jumped in… I crashed into the water and swam at lightning speed to get to my friend who by now was coughing up water, struggling to breathe. “It’s okay, I have you”, I shouted. I looked around but the boat seemed to be getting further away. I tried to yell, “over here!” but it was futile. “Please dont let me drown”, said Nick. “I won’t! I used to be a lifeguard, this is nothing”, I replied. And then it happened. A huge ship from behind us was rushing straight for us. It hadn’t seen us struggling in the water. We hadn’t seen it barreling towards us. I only had a second to think.
I dived to the left to get away from the ship. And Nick went right. The ship almost hit me. I knew I needed to get distance. So I did. I swam as fast as I could out of range of the ship and its propellers. And Nick… didn’t. I yelled for Nick but I got no reply. The water around me became red. I felt objects in the water… yes it was what you’re thinking. Pieces of him. I saw his head bobbin… Sorry… I know its graphic, I shouldn’t…
I was soon rescued. I blame myself for Nicks death. But thats what happened. I don’t know if anyone on the ship saw me pretending to toss him off it. Certainly no one said anything if they had. His death was ruled accidental. No one got in trouble. And Ive told no one about this. I dont sleep much now, and I dont fish anymore. I know you’ll judge me. I relive this day constantly, wondering if I had done a multitude of things differently, could Nick have been saved? What haunts me is I’ll never know. Well thats it, thanks for listening I suppose. I think this helped…