My buddy Nick and I have been inseparable since 7th grade, so we were naturally pumped when we both got the phone call from the Century 16 theater.
My phone call went something like this:
“Hello?”
“Hi, is this Joe?”
“Yea, Joseph Alexander”
“…”
“Uh, hello, are you there, I’m Joe Ale-“
“Hello?”
“Yea, hi, I’m –“
“Heyyy Joe, how are ya man, how you doing?”
“Who is this?”
“Oh yea, its Carlos from Century 16 Theaters.”
“Ah. Cool”
*long pause*
“Anyway man, you made it! Congrats man”
“I got the job?”
“Yea come down to the orientation on Sunday and we’ll get you situated”
“Okay what time shou-“
He hung up. That was my first interaction with my new boss. His name is Carlos. His favorite movies are ‘Jack and Jill’ and ‘The Human Centipede 3.’
“You watched all three?” I asked sitting behind the concessions, roughly a month into the job.
“Hell yea I did.” Carlos leaned proudly over the counter. “Can you believe it took ‘em three movies to finally come up with a strong storyline. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mind the first two. They just didn’t have much to offer besides all the ass-eating.”
The woman ordering popcorn from me with her young daughter stiffened and flashed Carlos a nasty look.
Carlos smiled, ruffling the kid girl’s hair seemingly unaware of what he just said. “Enjoy the movie sweetheart.”
The mother pulled her away and they left without their popcorn.
In the distance, as they disappeared into the theater I heard the little girl ask, “mooom is ass yummy?”
I’m sure that wasn’t the first childhood Carlos unknowingly ruined. I dumped the popcorn from its bag back into the popcorn machine. After a mental count to three, I turned around and Carlos was still there. Damn. When he tried to describe a scene from his favorite movie, I pretended to have an asthma attack and he ran off to our employee room where I said my inhaler was. I consider this my go to de-escalation tactic, and it works surprisingly well.
Despite these ridiculous interactions, Carlos has saved Nick and I’s ass on more than one occasion. A lot more. Even though this is not one of those occasions, I want to share this particular story because I think it’s a good example of the things Nick and I had to deal with while working here.
Later that same day, I was still working concessions. I was concentrating pretty hard because my manager, Patricia, had explained some rules to me for the job. The most stressed was Rule #5: DO NOT OVERCOOK THE HOTDOGS.
When I first heard it at orientation I thought it was a dumb joke but Patricia’s pretty face had no signs of humor on it, and Carlos was shaking his head behind her while muttering, “The last thing we want to do is piss them off…”
After a few accidental slip ups (that weren’t really even my fault) I found that following the rules were better for everyone’s health. Regardless, while working for this particular movie theater, I’ve never broken Rule #5. Fortunately, Nick was the one everyone blamed for that…
Sorry, got a little off topic. I had been working the concessions and Nick was on Usher duty, cleaning out theaters. It was the first year of the Covid pandemic and after recently reopening after a massive shut down, I’d say about 25% of every showing actually had any tickets bought for them and usually only 4 or 5 people showed. Because of this whenever you worked Usher, you didn’t exactly have much to do since there’s no need to clean a theater that no one was in.
Nick was about to walk into one of the only theaters with people watching inside to see how much time was left in the movie, when the door exploded open and bounced directly off his face.
“AHgh ma nose,” Nick groaned bending over as blood began pouring out of his nostrils onto his shoes.
The mother that was at concessions with her kid a couple hours ago, ran out of the theater and around Nick, without so much as a glance in his direction.
“Help! I can’t find my daughter, she was right here, I swear she was there when we left the bathroom and then in the theater and I turned around and she –“
The door to the office near the ticket booths slammed open and out came Carlos, hustling like a linebacker. I can’t lie that man could move, but he must’ve gassed himself because by the time he got here he stammered out, “What seems to be the ma’am, problem? Uh, ah, I mean what’s up.“ He had a coughing fit directly after this.
The woman’s expression fell. “Oh anyone but you. Will someone help me find my daughter,” she whipped her head towards me. “Check your cameras, something, please!”
You have my word, I was committed to helping her. But I was also committed to Rule #5. I snapped my head between this damsel in distress yelling for help, and my hotdogs. Almost ready.
“Joe!”
It was Carlos this time. “Listen, bossman,” I warned not looking up from the electric grill. “If I’m anymore distracted then I am now, these dogs are gonna look like the first responders at Chernobyl.”
“Hey hey, great reference man I loved that sh-,” Carlos began but was quickly cut off by the now hysterical screaming.
“MY DAUGHTER!”
Carlos flinched. “Jeez louis.” He looked at me. “Grab Nick and go look in Theater 7, you’ll probably find her there.” He turned back to the lady, assuring her that he had put his best men on the job.
I hesitated, “What about rule-“
“Leave it to me soldier,” Carlos said heroically, turning his head towards me and giving a determined head nod. The woman was crying into his shoulder, and he snuck me a wink and a thumbs up.
I walked around the counter of concessions and waved Nick over, who had just finished recovering from his kiss of death with the door. “Come on Nick we’re looking in theater 7.”
The layout of the Century 16 is pretty standard. The front entrance leads into a large lobby. To the right are the main office and ticket stands. We usually have 2 or 3 people there but that was reduced to 1 due to the decline in attendance from COVID. To the left in a room is a small arcade. In the center of the lobby is a large concession stand, including 2 popcorn machines, hot dog cookers, fridges, a soda machine, snack racks, and a slurpee machine. Me and nick would switch between working the concessions and ushering. After the concessions at the back of the lobby, two hallways stretch to opposite sides of the building. Theaters 1-8 are down the left hallway and 9-16 are on the right.
Walking towards theater 7, I began to think how the woman came out of theater 10, and yet, Carlos had us looking for her daughter on the other end of the movie theater. To walk from one hallway to the other, you had to pass through the lobby and around the concessions, and yet I hadn’t noticed anyone walk through the lobby in the past hour. Especially not a little girl.
“That chick owes me an apology,” Nick muttered wiping his nose
“Dude, she lost her daughter.”
Nick threw his hands in there, exasperated. “And? Whose fault is that?”
He had a point.
We reached the door for theater 7. I grabbed the handle, which was freezing, and opened the door wide. “After you, monsieur usher.”
Nick entered, flicking me the bird. I followed.
The lights were off inside, and the air was so cold I could see water crystals frozen on the wall. Our breaths came out in thick plumes of smoke. Nick and I instantly started shivering, shrinking into ourselves and grabbing at our sides.
“Carlos was serious about those budget cuts,” Nick gasped out.
“I don’t think that’s the issue,” I said shakily. It was the middle of August.
With our teeth clattering, we walked out of the small hallway leading from the doorway to the seating section, and into the auditorium. Theater 7 is medium sized, with about 10 rows of seats stretching from top to bottom. The dead, black screen on the wall reflected our dark figures and most likely hadn’t been turned on at all today. There’s only one exit in theater 7 which probably isn’t up to code, but Carlos assures us that theater 7 is our lowest priority theater, according to ticket sales.
“Wait, why are we in here again?” Nick asked.
“Shut up.”
Every seat was empty and there was no sign of life within the theater besides the sounds of the sharp intakes of breath Nick and I made accompanying the rhythmic melody of our chittering teeth. I considered just going back and breaking the news to the mother that her daughter was no where to be found. I can live with Carlos calling me a bad wingman.
But, I remembered the little girl when she tried to order popcorn off of me. Her eyes were so big and blue, like little pools of water had gotten trapped inside of them. Curious eyes that hadn’t seen much of the world yet. I have a little brother who’s six and it damn near broke my heart to think of him in this situation.
I told Nick we would start in the middle of the rows, walking through them to check under seats, moving in opposite direction, Nick heading down towards the screen, and I would head up towards the projection room.
Except for Nick who somehow stepped on a condom (not the first time we’ve found one) we didn’t find anything until I was walking through the last row of seats at the top.
A doll sat upright on the last seat in the row, facing the screen.
“Nick, come up here.”
As Nick jumped up the steps, I reached down to grab it. The doll was one of those Raggedy Ann ones with the hair done up in sloppy braids, and a skirt adorned with holes and brownish colored stains I couldn’t really tell because of how dark it was.
Nick was next to me when I picked up the doll and I was about to tell him to ‘go long’, when a voice interrupted us.
“That’s mine.”
I almost shit.
Down at the bottom of the theater front and center before the screen, was the petite shadow of what looked to be a little girl. The problem was, the voice we heard could not have come from a child. Maybe a 60-year-old who had smoked for 40 of them.
“Return it.”
Nick and I looked at each other before looking back down at the silhouette. How the hell did we not find her? There aren’t any corners or hiding spots to hide behind, or any other entrances like I said, so there was no way we would’ve missed her.
Ignoring this I cleared my now parched throat and managed to ask, “Are you the little girl who lost her mommy?”
Nick jabbed me in the ribs with his knuckle. “Unless her balls dropped in preschool, that’s not a little girl.”
“SIT”
As if drawn by a magnet, my ass was dragged down into the seat behind me. Nick let out an ‘oof’ as he plopped into the seat next to me. I tried pushing off the armrests, but I wouldn’t budge and Nick wasn’t having much luck either struggling and twisting around in his seat to no avail. It felt like invisible weights had been placed on my thighs and as I continued trying to escape, the shadow spoke again.
“Give Annie back”
“WHO THE HELL IS ANNIE?” Nick screamed. I looked down at the doll still in my hands.
“I think she means –“ I started but a sudden flashing of light caused us both to recoil and squint our eyes. The projector was on, and video had begun to play on screen. The silhouette of the girl was gone.
I craned my neck up towards the window above me that showed the inside of the projector room. The lights were off but the reel was playing. I struggled against my invisible restraints once again.
“Hold on, maybe if I pretend I’m dead it’ll let me go.” I looked over in time to watch Nick slump against his chair, motionless. I remember in that moment feeling ashamed that I was going to die next to this moron.
“This is Annie”
The voice came from the speakers now, indicating that the source of it came from the screen now. The video showed a small room which looked to be a child’s bedroom. The walls were painted pink, with an occasional butterfly or flower, there were dolls occupying every shelf, drawer, and table that furnished it.
At the center was a small circular table with three chairs. On the left-most seat was the shadow of the girl that had appeared before us. Even though the room was well lit in the screen, the figure was charcoal black and no features or clothes could be discerned from its person, just a moving mass of ink that light refused to shine on which seemed to stare right out of the screen at us. The shadow had it’s armed raised pointing to the chair next to it.
In the middle seat, was another Raggedy Ann doll. The doll on screen was in even worse shape than the one I held in my hands, missing an eye and fluff coming out of open rips and tears along its whole body.
But the occupant of the last seat on the right had my attention. There sat the little daughter. The one we were looking for. She didn’t seem scared but definitely confused, her big aqua blue eyes looking around the room, before squinting towards the camera (if there was one). I swear I thought she could see us.
I strained in my seat calling out, “Hey are you all right?! Your mom is looking for you sweetie!”
Maybe she could hear me. The girl didn’t seem to react but I swear I thought I saw her tilt her head just barely. “Can you hear me!?”
“NO. Finders keepers. A mother not fit to protect her child is no mother at all”
“Wait a second hold on, just wait.”
“GIVE ME ANNIE”
I smiled.
“Finders keepers.”
“What?”
“Yea, I don’t know, I’m not a fan of the hair so I think I’ll just shave it off, but otherwise I think she’d be great addition to my Funko Pop collection.”
“Funky poop? No. NO, GIVE HER BACK TO ME”
“I don’t know, it looks like you have plenty of other friends in there to keep you company…”
I had to play this smart if it was going to work.
“But that’s my favoriiitttteeee”
Wow. This ended up being easier than I thought.
“I have an idea. How about we trade. I’ll give you Annie back if you give me that little girl sitting across the table from you. I think that’ll make both of us happy.”
There was a long pause. I thought I might’ve jumped the gun and was currently being phased into the twilight zone. Despite the freezing temperatures, ice cold sweat ran down my neck and back tickling me.
Finally, it spoke again.
“But I like Megan too”
Megan. That was her name. I was so close.
“Give me Annie or you’ll lose the arm that holds her”
“I swear to god I’ll bite Annie’s head off if you do.”
“You wouldn’t”
I was feeling dangerous now.
“Oh I so would. I’d choose my next words very carefully if I were you.”
Another pause. It was time to go full Saul Goodman on its’ ass.
“I get your concern. Either way you lose a friend. Let me sweeten the spot. You give me Megan, I give you Annie, and in addition, me and my buddy Nick will buy you a new dolly friend every once in a while. That’s fair. And, in the end you’re the one gaining the most from this. I don’t know how familiar you are with human terminology but that is what we like to call passive income my friend.”
“Friend? We are friends?”
I shrugged, “Sure, whatever.”
The invisible weights seem to relinquish their hold on me. I cautiously stood, slowly gaining blood flow back into my legs. The video on screen was still playing. The shadow stood up, walked around the circular table and grabbed Megan’s hand. Megan had been playing with some toys that whole time and together they walked towards the screen.
“Am I the best or what?” I quipped, turning towards Nick.
I swear on three Bibles, that this man was still playing dead.
I punched him in the stomach and he jerked in his seat.
Simultaneously yawning and gasping for air, Nick wheezed,“I think I passed out. The fuck, did you just punch me?”
“I wish I traded you instead”
“What?”
The projector light shut off with a click and the room was dark again. I reached for my phone to turn on its’ flash flight and noticed that Annie had disappeared from my hands.
“hellooooo. i’m scared of the dark.”
I turned on my phones flash light and there at the front of the theater was Megan.
We brought her out of the theater and returned her to her mom who was waiting by the ticket booth with Carlos. When her mother asked, Megan claimed she didn’t know where she went. She said she had followed her mom into their theater and when she blinked, she was in another room. But she told her it was ok, she was happy cause she made a brand new friend today. Her mother looked scolded her for making up stories while Nick and I exchanged looks.
After profusely thanking us, she began to say goodbye and head towards the door, but before she could reach it Nick cleared his throat. “I forgive you.”
The lady turned around with her daughter. “For what?”
Nick looked thunderstruck. “What do you mean for what,” he sputtered. “You almost broke my nose you hagGAHH!!”
If I could watch Carlos full on soccer kicking Nick in his shins on repeat until I died, I’d die happy.
As Nick collapsed to the floor, Carlos waved at her with a smile, “Thanks for choosing Cinema 16! Please come again.”
With an extremely confused look on her face, the lady walked out the door. Megan waved at me as she left, the same overexaggerated wave every child does. I smiled.
Nick was on the ground rubbing his shins and moaning. “Why?” he whined.
Carlos glared at him with a grave expression. “We strive for excellent customer service. I only use that move when disciplining my employees. Don’t make me do it again.” He then proceeded to step over him like a badass and walk back into his office. Of all the time I’ve spent working at the theater, I’ve been able to count on one hand the amount of times Carlos appeared deadly serious. This was one of them.
Despite it being barely a month into the job, me and Nick drove home complaining about the long shifts we had coming up and the homework we had to do that night. While it may sound like extraordinary circumstances, that day wasn’t much compared to some of other things we’ve seen, heard, or fought. You heard that right. The year after we had to take our basement back from some… well, that’s a whole other story.
Me and Nick found some coping mechanisms to get through the job, and to be frank, we needed money to maintain our reckless smoking habits. We ended up smoking even more now to cope with working at the movie theater. We found it best to stay lighthearted and help each other out when needed. And at first we needed a lot of help, but by the time this story happened we had pretty much settled into it.
We stayed at the job for a while, about a year and half, but quit when we left for college. We didn’t miss it too much to be honest, but we cherished the memories.
However, I’m taking a gap year and have been home since the summer. My mom was pushing me to look for a job and I went to a couple interviews that I never got calls back from.
And then going against all the common sense I have stored in my brain, I did the unthinkable.
As of yesterday, I’m the new and returning employee of Century 16 theaters. You should’ve seen the look on Carlos’ face. When I showed up for the interview he gave me a big bear hug that lasted just a second too long for comfort.
Due to either the location or nature of it, attendance is still down for the movie theater. He told me that after losing his two best employees, things were tough on the theater and there are a lot of issues that need to be dealt with. Joy
“You’ve got a lotta work ahead of you, man”, Carlos grinned. After negotiating a substantial raise in pay, he bear hugged me again, and I walked out an employed man.
I don’t know what’s in store for me now, but I’ll have you guys to come back to if things get a little… weird. In the meanwhile, I can fill you in on more stories about my days with Nick during my original employment. Trust me. I have no shortage of them.
I guess that’s it for now. Let me know if you have any questions and I’ll try to answer them as best I can.