I’m a Christian woman living in Bethlehem. I think people have a misconception that all Palestinians are Muslims. I’m here to tell you that there are plenty of Christians living especially in Bethlehem where Jesus was born, alongside with Muslims. The problem is that since I was born, we were surrounded by a 10 meter high wall. We are not allowed to drive outside this wall. I’m not allowed to drive to Jerusalem or anywhere other than Bethlehem and other areas in the West Bank, but as you probably know, there are 700 checkpoints scattered throughout the West Bank. So I only can drive in this open air prison. We have no beach, no airport, nothing. If we want to travel outside, we need to go to Jordan, where we need to cross multiple checkpoints alongside hundreds of people and pay very expensive taxes to be able to go. So it takes a full day and a lot of money to get to Jordan just to be able to go to the airport, and oh, we cannot fly anywhere we want unless we get a Visa which is very difficult to get. It’s true that they say we don’t suffer from PTSD because trauma is all we know. Thankfully, I got accepted to study in Jerusalem where I work with Jewish Israelis, I have a very good relationship with them, some of my best friends are actually Jewish Israelis whom I met throughout my studies. They are not happy with what we go through either. The problem is that to get to where I study, I need to be extensively checked everyday to pass to Jerusalem, where I cannot drive, so I take public transportation which takes about 2 hours a day for me to be able to reach (with the checkpoint and so on). And now, after what happened on October, I lost my permit and I am banned to go there (this happens often).
I’m mortified about what is happening. I do not know what advice I’m asking for, I just needed to let this out somewhere. There are so many Palestinians like me, who just want peace, to live alongside with our Israeli brothers and sisters. My life is ruined. I’m 30, and I do not know what normal life is like. I sometimes look through openings of the wall, and wonder how life is like to those who are free. I didn’t choose to be born here, the only reason I’m staying here is because Jesus was born here, and I go to his birth place every week and sit there and cry. My childhood memories are basically watching tanks, glass of my house shattering every time a tank passes by, rockets hitting nearby, being afraid for my loved ones life, losing my friends and family, having panic attacks, not having clean water or sometimes no water at all for some days. Again. I do not know why I’m writing this, so forgive me, but I need advice, which is, how do I keep moving forward with my life?