Up until a few years ago, I assumed everyone had heard of the Soap Birds, just like everyone’s heard of Bigfoot or Bloody Mary.
I made a joke about them to my wife (then fiancé) and she asked what I was talking about. I’ve brought up the Soap Birds to several dozen people since. No one has a clue.
I’ve chalked it up to a local wives tale. I grew up in rural Kentucky, so maybe it’s specific to that region. I’m no contact with my parents and have no intention of returning to my home town, so I can’t ask anyone back there.
But it’s really been bugging me lately that I’m alone in this. Maybe you’ve heard of them but in your town they called them something different? I’ll describe them best I can, but the description will be vague.
The Soap Birds were brought up rarely, and adults never stayed on the topic for more than a minute. As a kid, my perception was it made them nervous to talk about. But maybe they were just embarrassed to discuss childish stories.
Soap Birds aren’t made of soap and they aren’t birds. The ‘soap’ is because whenever they are near, you can pick up a strong scent of soap. The ‘bird’ is because they fly.
I can’t give an exact size, and remember mixed reports on if they traveled in packs or were solitary.
An uncle tried to show me a picture he snapped of one once, but even at age ten I was unconvinced. The only good physical description I ever got was from my grandmother, who said they don’t have bodies or heads.
They are made up of dozens of coal-black, wiry, stick like arms that bend and jut out like a tumbleweed. But all the arms move in unison, ‘flapping’ as one while it flies.
Soap Birds are most often seen on the edge of town, or in the woods, and usually at night. But they can theoretically appear anywhere, at any time, except always outdoors.
There are a few protocols to follow if you see (or smell) a Soap Bird. The most obvious one is to run.
As a small child, I assumed this was because the creature would ‘get me.’ As I grew up, I got a different impression. That the Soap Bird was a bad omen, and the longer someone spent in its presence, the more likely something terrible would happen.
You don’t just run in a random direction. You run for shelter. Soap Birds won’t ever follow you inside. If there’s no proper shelter nearby, a car or even an outhouse is better than nothing.
There’s no need to warn others. In fact, you shouldn’t. Only the person who notices the Soap Bird is in trouble, so bringing attention to the thing (or things) would be cruel.
There’s no real pattern to Soap Bird appearances. They aren’t a morality tale to scare children into behaving, because they don’t target sinners or punish bad behavior. They just show up.
During the day, Soap Birds rarely stay for long. So after waiting inside for an hour or two, it’s probably safe to go out again. Just stay away from open windows and exterior doors while you’re waiting.
At night, it’s another story. A Soap Bird might stay perched, waiting patiently until daybreak. You see a Soap Bird at night, get inside, and wait til sunrise.
My home town had a few odd things about it, but they never struck me as unusual until fairly recently. It was all I knew, so it was my normal.
Nobody drives a convertible. I saw a convertible for the first time at thirteen, on vacation in Florida. That’s not terribly strange, though.
Back home? If you loiter inside a business for a couple hours, no one will bug you or demand you buy something. Maybe that’s just small town friendliness, though.
Speaking of businesses, there’s very little night life. In small town America, that’s to be expected. But in the winter, when it gets dark early, only one or two places are even open for dinner.
Those few stores that do stay open after dark have back rooms with cots, and employees are allowed to crash there until morning if they so choose. This could just be a cultural thing. I’ve heard it’s commonplace in Japan.
Oh, and my hometown has an above average rate of missing persons per capita. Not terribly high, mind you. Nothing that would alarm a statistician or demand a supernatural explanation. Still, I thought it was worth mentioning.
I have a few vivid memories of my dad getting home from work late, parking in the driveway, and sleeping all night in his car. After sunrise, he’d come inside, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast with us, then head right back to work.
Mom forbade us from going out to check on him those nights.
That’s about all I have on the Soap Birds. I never saw one or had any unusual experiences, so I’m not after people who’ve had paranormal encounters. The reason I’m posting this in paranormal message boards is because I figure superstitious people are more likely to have stumbled across the legend before.
If any of this sounds familiar, please let me know! Especially if you grew up in Appalachia, but I’m happy to hear from anyone, even from abroad.
Thank you!