I’ve been married for 10 years with the absolutely love of my life. Every love song remind me of him. I can’t explain how much this man makes me feel like the most wonderful girl in the world. To fancy dinners to simple things like kissing the back of my hands every now and then, he has done it all.
In our first night as wife and husband, he showed me a little notebook containing all sorts of poetry about me. He wrote on the side what had happened for him to feel that way and would write based on that. It included the first time we met each other, at a friend’s meeting, to our first time having sex, so on. In this moment, I realized it was forever.
But lately I noticed he started showing depression related behavior. I would spoil him as much as I could, but he seemed to be even worse. I never have seen someone cry as much as he did during breakdown. I would do anything, anything to make him happy again.
One day, I went downstairs to make him breakfast. My husband barely slept and was very skinny, he refused to see a therapist, so at least I tried to take care of him. It shocked me when he showed up standing at the kitchen door. “You’re tired Honey, go to bed while I make you breakfast, okay?”
“I want a divorce.” I looked at him like I had just witnessed a exorcism. We never said anything about it. That was what he was thinking the whole time? Leaving me? It was my time to breakdown.
“Why? Why would you do this to me?” I screamed while tossing the eggs to the ground. He didn’t even flinch. “Didn’t you love me? Didn’t you wish to die by my side? What about everything we did?”
Not a word. He just stood there. Shakingly because of how weak he was. “Please, leave.”
“No, I don’t understand.” I stepped im the eggs while walking towards him. “Why? What happened? Don’t you love me anymore” I tried touching his face, but he flinched like I was going to punch him.”I need an answer, please.” I grabbed his wrist while he was trying to leave the room. “I’d do anything.”
“…Anything?” He looked towards me again. At this point, I didn’t loved myself anymore, I loved us. I loved our marriage. I loved him and everything possible would be done by me to make my soulmate stay. “Anything.”
“Would you… die for me?” He moved towards me. It was that type of look that man give you when you’re naked, except I was fully dressed this time. The first time I’ve seen him with some type of light in his eyes in months. “Yes. Yes, I would.” I put myself into knees and kissed his hand, while looking at him.
Then he explained what was really happening. His mother was part of some cult where people would eat human flesh, and he tried his best to be away from it. She told him it was in the blood, if it didn’t happened to him, it would happen to his children. He lived with her until his sixteenth birthday, when she died. Lived with his dad until he married me.
“I thought it was all a myth, that my mom was going completely mental, but when my dad showed to me what she had done to his arm, I told myself I would never let myself do something like it.” We were lying at the corridor at this point. “But I don’t know what happened. Everything I eat just doesn’t seem to feed me. And I keep…” He started sobbing. “I keep having these dreams, baby. I keep having thoughts. I keep having this desire. How I would… would think about doing this to you.”
I didn’t knew what to say. Suddenly, everything started making sense, about how he never wanted children, how he would be more turned on if I was in my period, the bites he gave me that felt like he really wanted to rip my skin out. But it wasn’t me, it was us. “That’s why I want a divorce. Please.”
“…No.” I put myself closer to his face, and it felt like I was staring at death itself. “I am not afraid. I love you. And I want us to stay together.” I smiled to him, he did it back. “Can we go back to sleep? Upstairs?”
“Yes darling, yes, we can.” I promise you, Mom. He made it quick as possible, it was totally painless. We will soon be resting together. I just want you to keep an eye on our little child for me, and for him to never know anything about this. Tell him we died in a car crash. And never let him eat meat.
Love you to the moon and back.