I love music. There isnt a time or place i dont listen to music. I am unable to focus without music playing in my headphones. Its gotten so bad that i bought 2 pairs of headphones in case one runs out throughout the day. I keep my headphones on while i work, while i sleep and while i eat, however theres this one place i never listen to music. We’ll not really a place more like a situation. Sometimes, when i have time i like to take late-night walks. Its something about the darkness and loneliness that calms me. Sometimes in life you feel lost. and having yourself time could be the difference between mental stability and jumping off a bridge.
I’m still living with my parents however back when i was 16 i wasnt allowed out of the house past 9, so i usually snuck out the house and walked towards the park near my home. this park has a lake, a big one. i usually circle it for hours until daylight sparks and ruins the mood. the time is 4:30am and as i was sitting on a bench looking at the moon reflecting on the water, my quietness was interrupted by footsteps. I turn my head and was surprised to see a dog approach me. it was starved and dirty, i could see it’s ribs and uncut hair. Something was special about this dog however… it was it’s eyes… it’s eyes were weird. They weren’t doglike. You know how puppies have big pupils? like they are high? this dog had… human eyes. There was something about it. he felt as lost as me, why else would he be here at this late hour?
I looked at it for a few minutes then went back to my loneliness. the one i liked so much. i tried to ignore the dog, but it was staring into my soul with its uncommon eyes so i got up and went back home. looking behind me and seeing the dog not moving. it’s eyes still following me.
next day as i was going to school, i opened the front door to my house and there it was. the dog from yesterday, infront of my door. i wasnt scared but i was definetly startled. i ignored it and went off to school. returning back home and guess what, it was still there. unmoved. waiting for me. looking into my soul with it’s creepy fucking eyes. i related to it somehow. i understood it’s pain.
I dont know why but i opened the door and let it in with me. my parents threw a tantrum aboutnit but eventually calmed down and allowed me to feed it. i bathed it and made sure he was healthy by taking him to the doc in the next few days. my parents allowed me to keep him in our backyard as long as i feed, walk and clean his shit myself.
i loved this dog even if i never named it.
exactly a year later from when i met it, down to the minute: 4:30am. im sitting in my room trying to sleep but this night is special. this night i wasnt listening to music. the first night in the last 3 years nothing was playing in my head. i didnt know why i wasnt listening to music tonight. this happened alot, me not knowing why im doing stuff. its because i bave trust in fate, i dont believe in concidences.
and while this must have been true, because i wasnt waring airpods, i hear my door slowly open.
crack (it slowly opens up)
its… the dog
it, walks up to the bed, infront of me
it gets up on its hind legs as i hear his bones cracking. he then looks exactly at me and says “nobody will believe you” in perfect english.
he goes back to being 4 legged and simply leaves the room.
since then, i havent ever stopped listening to music. even if i was told i shouldnt by the psychiatrist i got sent to for stabbing my dog