I’ve had many issues with food delivery services. You know, the ones with apps that you place your order on, and a driver picks it up from the restaurant, then delivers it straight to the front door of your place of residence. Of all the issues I’ve had, whether the order was made wrong or mixed up with someone else’s, this one was no different.
It was almost midnight, and I was once again too lazy to cook, so I ordered some tacos de cabeza from a place nearby that I like. Upon ordering, the time frame of delivery given to me was twenty to thirty-five minutes. Looking at the time it would take to get here made me even hungrier.
After a bit, the notification popped up on my phone that my food had been delivered. A picture was sent of my order sitting outside of my door. The movie which I was watching was nearly over. I contemplated finishing the last five minutes but was so hungry I decided to hit pause. Five minutes left.
I got up, walked over to my front door, and retrieved the bag sitting outside. I lifted it up and inspected the bottom as I usually do to see if anything leaked through. Everything looked fine. I brought the bag to my kitchen counter, flicked on the light, opened it, and took out the box with my food in it. When I opened it and saw what was inside, I was pissed. It wasn’t my order. Inside were someone else’s enchiladas with some weird looking shit on top of them. I thought about chucking the box in the trash, but then pulled out my phone.
I texted the driver through the app and told them that they had messed up the delivery, that I had received someone else’s order. For a few minutes I stood there, contemplating eating what was in front of me. I didn’t care for enchiladas but was hungry enough to forget about personal preferences and down the whole meal. Then, almost as if on cue, my phone lit up. It was the driver.
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience, I still have your order and can come back to drop it off. If you prefer, you can cancel the order all together and go through the app’s customer service for a full refund. Also, seeing as you have opened the order that you received, you will have to discard of it. I cannot take it back if the seal is broken on the bag.”
After reading the message, I thought about canceling and ordering something else. But I thought there was no harm in having them bring me my correct order, even if it was cold. While thinking, I received another message.
“Please notify me on your decision, if you do not reply in the next few minutes then I will cancel the order myself.”
Fuck it
I replied to the driver and instructed them to drop off my order outside the door just as they had done with the wrong order. Then I thanked them.
I received a message back.
“Okay, but it might be cold by the time I get there. In this case, if you aren’t satisfied, then you will have to go through the app’s customer service and refund the order in full. :)”
Yeah, no shit
I thought that last message was weird, especially the face at the end. But I figured they were just trying to be friendly. I’ve honestly seen weirder.
Within five minutes I received another one of the automated messages telling me that my order had been dropped off. I headed to the door, opened it, picked up the bag and inspected it. I saw leakage on the bottom. Of course, when I finally got my order, it was in some way fucked up. I should have just refunded the damn thing. I should’ve just cooked myself. Whatever. It’s here now.
I didn’t even bother checking the temperature before throwing it into the microwave to reheat. I was on the brink of starvation. I hit the timer for thirty seconds and stared at it waiting in anticipation. After about fifteen of those seconds, a rancid smell began to fill the air of my small kitchen. I almost vomited. The smell of rotten meat took my hunger away in an instant. I stopped the microwave and took the bag out. I guess I wasn’t meant to eat tonight.
I could barely breath with the smell. It smelled worse than any bad meat I’d ever smelled. I gagged again and prepared myself over the sink but swallowed my regurgitation. I had to get rid of the food. Before I did though, I wanted to get a picture of what was inside, just to leave a review for future customers, urging them to choose a different place to eat.
I held one arm in front of my mouth and under my nose. The other I used to open the paper bag. When I got it open, I choked, then finally vomited. Not from the smell, but what was inside.
Looking back at me from inside the bag, with open eyes, was a decomposing human head. Severed from the neck with thin strands of hair coming down from the scalp. There was a dark tinted liquid of decay now pooling underneath the bag and spreading across my countertop. It eventually began seeping to the edges and dripping to the floor, joining the pool of vomit I had just made.
I felt faint, I could only see red, then darkness.