It started a month ago, I had just broken up with my girlfriend after I came out to her as bi, needless to say she didn’t want any part of it, so she ended things. So here I was a free man looking to stretch his legs and see what was out there, it couldn’t hurt after all. I heard horror stories of people getting burned on them but I dowloaded all the apps and just threw myself into it, hoping for the best.
The first few times were okay, a few good conversations to start, but when we met up it devolved into them trying to hook up with me.
I wanted a connection, not just something physical or being a unicorn for a failing marriage. It was very discouraging with my new found freedom, a new dating pool and trying a cure for my loneliness. I was about to give up when I got a message from a guy named Steven, relunctantly I opened it. It seemed like the stuff I heard bunches of times before, so I answered back with my standard answer and left for work. When I got off that day I had messages waiting for me from Steven, he seemed genuinely interested in me, not the usual “looking?”
Saturday comes round and we meet at the local java hut, he excitedly gave me a hug, putting me off a little bit. He looked just like pictures, had a nice build and his smile put me at ease. We talked for hours, our coffees completely ignored and by the time we left when the coffee shop closed, I felt like this was what I was looking for. We made plans to hangout again the following weekend, with lots of texts inbetween. It seemed like a whirlwind, we got along so well and had so many interests and he didn’t mind that I had been with women before. Steven wasn’t judgmental like most of the people I had gone out with, preferring to have a connection with me.
Steven and I had a lot of fun when we were together, whether it was gaming, out to a movie or relaxing at my place. I hadn’t yet been over to his house, which was odd but I didn’t think anything of it. Steven put me at ease and I felt way more open with him than I was with my girlfriend. He was even super chill about the fact that I didn’t have any sexual experience with a man, not rushing me before I could figure out what I liked. That’s why when our fourth date came around I wanted to tell him that I felt ready to intimate things. I felt butterflies in my stomach that afternoon as I was getting ready. I thought I’d try some new cologne and a new shirt I got to look extra sexy for the occaision. I was excited, but I didn’t know what was coming, but you never do, do you?
Steven picked me up at six, with what he promised was a romantic evening with a special “surprise” at the end. We started with dinner at a Chinese place, which was really good. I was hungry, but I didn’t want to stuff myself in case we got to sexy time later. “Are you having a good time?” Steven asked “I am, I’ve had a lot of fun with you since we met.” I replied “Me too.” Steven had said “I’m really intrigued by this surprise you have for later.” I said “I think you’re going to like it.” Steven said with a smile, I smiled back, not able to wait.
The weather was nice enough to walk to the nearby park after dinner. We stopped at an ice cream vendor for dessert, “What do you want?” Steven asked “I’ll take a vanilla cone, two scoops.” I replied “Two vanillas, please.” The vendor gave a smile and served us up, Steven paying for our frozen treats. “Thanks for the treat tonight, I’ve had fun tonight.” I had said “Me too, I can’t wait to see your face when you get the surprise.”
I smiled again as we started walking, I decided to hold Steven’s hand as we walked along, the lights of the lamps in the park lit our way. I licked my cone as we kept walking, talking about everything and nothing. We kept walking as we passed a group of gruff looking guys being loud and obnoxious, blasting shitty music off a shitty phone, empty beer cans littering the ground around them. As we passed them I held Steven’s hand tighter, trying not to make eye contact, something about them putting me off.
As we passed them, they took notice and quieted down, one of the neanderthals making a mocking gesture in a high voice “Hi girls, off to see the wizard of ass?” Steven yelled back “Nice try fuck pig! You’re dad didn’t complain last night.” I looked at Steven not knowing how to deal with this because, I had never been in a situtation like this before. “Just keep walking, ignore them.” He offered a smile as we neared the edge of the park, the parking lot only across the street, Steven’s car in view. I could hear them throwing insults at us as we left them behind.
We finally got to his Honda when he stopped me, pulling me close “You know the surprise i had for you?” Steven asked “I’ve been waiting all night for it…” I replied “I’ve had so much fun with you the past month and I wanted to know…if you’d be my boyfriend?” He blushed a bit as he looked into my eyes, waiting for an answer. “Of course I would!” He smiled as we kissed, it was deep and wonderful, full of goodness. We were interrupted by the calls of the cretins from earlier, hopped up on beer and bravado. “C’mon, lets get out of here.” Steven ushered me into his car and got out of there quickly. We had been driving for a bit when I asked “Where are we going?” Steven smiled and said “Another surprise.”
We pulled up to a wooded area near town, I had been vaguely familiar with it, coming here once or twice with my ex. Steven broke my fascination with “So, now that we’re boyfriends, maybe we could go a bit further?” He leaned over and started kissing me hard, I pulled away slightly saying “I don’t know if I’m ready for this tonight, I mean you’ve been really great with the sex stuff but…” Steven got closer to me with “I’ve been patient cause I really like you, but tonight you’re so hot, you even wore that cologne that drives me crazy…” I replied “I know, I want to but–” I was cut off as Steven grabbed me and kissed harder, tearing at my shirt fiddling with the buttons. I pulled away again “Steven stop! I’m not ready!” I pushed him off and made for the door.
Steven grabbed me by the hair and pulled me back to him, I put my arms up trying to push him away. He used his free hand to pin my arms and make me behave, I was panicking trying to wonder what went wrong so quickly. I did the only thing I could think of and bit down on Steven’s lips, the rusty taste of blood in my mouth, Steven screaming. He slammed my head into the dash and pain exploded in my head, white lights and stars dancing before my eyes. Dazed, I saw a chance to run while Steven cupped his mouth, blood running through his fingers. I flung the passenger door open as fast as I could, to get out and run as fast as I could.
Steven got out in a flash, meeting me almost as quickly as my dazed self could move. He spun me around and pinned my arms against the car, trying to get my pants down. I struggled against him as he tried to force it in me and God how it hurt. I finally stomped down on his foot, letting out a guttural cry as Steven backed off in pain, as I yanked my pants back up. In a rage I put all my force into shoving him backward, he tumbled like like a brick. I grabbed a nearby branch and pummeled him with it, him letting out cries of pain as I did so. He was still writhing as I ran, ran as fast as my legs could take me.
I went to the police and really had to fight to be believed, to no ones shock. Steven got a light sentence, too light for me anyway. After my experience I got some mental help and go to therapy religiously. I also took up some self defense/hand to hand combat classes. I still date, but not as often as I did, not feeling into going with anybody seriously, not until I find out who they really are. I offer my experience as a cautionary tale, be aware of who you date, know your exits and never assume that you are safe. The only person that can save you is you. Beware out there.