I still remember being a happy family, once upon a time. Thinking back to a years ago, I remember the summer trips we would take as a family, Me, my wife, Lynn and our 7-year-old son Kyle. We would travel to the lake, or at least that’s what we used to call it. It was an old limestone quarry around 30 minutes away from our small hometown of Blueridge, Wyoming. The quarry was deeply cut into a series of top of a large hill, and due to some incorrect planning from the Mountain Quarries Company, a subsidiary of Pacific Portland Cement Company, they dug straight into a pressurized, underwater cave system, which resulted in the entire mine flooding, followed soon by its complete shutdown. This left a large untouched pristine body of water, spanning at least 200m between the straight cut walls of the quarry. This beautiful unnatural lake sat right on the edge of a large evergreen forest, but close to the main road, with great signal and flat open areas. This now untouched, and unclaimed spot became a massive hit in for our town, a new and perfect camping site.
My wife absolutely loved the outdoors, she couldn’t get enough of it, always pestering me to take her down to the lake for a night under the stars. This was a trait she passes on to our son. They were always running around outside, catching frog or bugs, rescuing everything they could get their hands on. I cannot even remember the exact number of baby birds that they would bring home and demand I help them raise. And I could never say no to that pair, one on one maybe, but when they ganged up on me, I always folded faster than wet cardboard.
Then it happened, we just spent the night at the lake, the bright morning rays illuminated the sky in a dazzling array of pinks and oranges. Several minutes ago Lynn, left on a her morning stroll around the lake. But something was wrong, I saw Lynn run out of the tree line, out of breath, sweating hard, and with this strange look in her eyes. She didn’t say anything but run to Kyle, grabbed him into her arms, ran over to our old Jeep wrangler then threw him into the backseat. I tried to ask her what was wrong but she just jumped into the drive seat and said in a panic tone “get in”. I quickly got into the car, and before I could even close the door she slammed on the breaks. “Dammit Lynn, what are you doing”. I asked confused and a little bit angry since she just abandoned all our camping equipment. She paused for a moment and said in a quiet but panicked voice “we just had to get out of there”, “WHY” I asked confused, she would never act like this normally, so I honestly had no idea what to make of this. She stammered out “It was in the “….
Then everything went dark, I awoke to find myself lying on a soft surface with a rhythmic beep, beep, beep. Next my right ear. My whole body ached and I struggled to open my eyes. Finally, they cracked open letting in a blinding white light. The beeping got louder and faster. Then I felt something cold grab my wrist and a low whisper next me, Calm down, Mr Finch, you’re okay, your safe. Eventually my eyes adjusted to the light showing a young woman leaning over me, dressing in a classic nurse’s outfit. I tried to speak but, I couldn’t say a word, something was in down my throat, I started to panic, I had to get it out of my throat, or I would surely suffocate. The beeping grew louder and erratic as I struggled, my arms felt like jelly as they reached up and grabbed at my face. I felt this horrid thick tendril going down my throat, pulsing as it forced something into my lungs. The nurse screamed something I couldn’t make out, but I felt more hand pressing me down, trying to stop me and that dammed beeping just keep getting faster. I finally managed to yank out the dammed thing trying to slither down my throat. Followed by unimageable pain and a sharp pinch in my left arm, and then darkness.
I awoke again but this time my vison was a lot clearer, and I could see that I was strapped down with thick padded cuffs to a clean white hospital bed. At least that horrid tendril was gone from my throat and the beeping was a slow steady rhythm again. I could now tell that that beeping came from my heart rate monitor. I called out but my voice felt wrong, it was rough, and it hurt to speak. The same young nurse from slowly entered my view, hovering above me. “Woah there, no talking. You dammed near tore out your voice box with that little stunt earlier”. She said in a stern but kind voice, she paused for a second and spoke. “You’re in the Blueridge hospital, your car was t-boned on the blackwater road just outside of town. Your lucky to be alive, your spleen ruptured, and both your right leg and arm were broken in the collision”. I tried to ask a question, but she just shushed me. “No questions now, rest and the doctor will come talk with later”, I blinked, then felt a sever drowsiness hit me and then the darkness overtook me again.
The next few days where a nightmare, the nurses were kind, but they refused to tell me anything about the crash, or what happened to my wife or son. Eventually though the Doctor came to check up on me “Ah, good your vitals seem fine, your bones had a good clean break and it’s healing nicely, you should be back on your feet in no time, Mr Finch” he stated in a clinical tone. “I don’t care about that, WHERE’S LYNN, WHERE’S KYLE” I demanded. A look of sadness overcame the doctors face “Mr Finch, please you’re still recovering we can”, “DAMMIT DOC, I need to know, please…” I begged. He let out a short sigh, “Mr Finch your Son is fine, actually were not really sure how but he barley suffered any injuries, just a few lacerations, a mild concussion and a sprained shoulder” I massive weight left my chest and I could finally after days of torment, relax, “He’s fine”, I smiled, then as soon as my smile came it fled as a dark though wormed it way into the forefront of my mind, and a pit formed in my stomach as a dread filled my heart. The beeping started to get erratic again, as I stammered out “wha-a-t abo-o-u-t Ly-y-nn”. The Doctor steeled himself then said his next words in the most professional way possible “I’m sorry Mr. Finch, She suffered a sever head injury, which lead to a hemorrhagic stroke, she passed away last night at 20h32 pm, I very sorry for your loss”. I felt everything go cold and all the color drained from the world.
The next few days flew by in a dark malaise. I couldn’t focus on anything, and I lost my drive to even try. Then next event I could even really remember was they day Kyle came into my room. “DADDY”, he yelled and all but thew himself onto my bed, His weight came crashing into me and I could feel my body protesting against the pain, but he hugged my tightly, his warm tiny arms grabbling tightly into me, even though the pain on my side was almost unbearably, I wouldn’t even think for a second of pushing him off me, instead I wrapped my good arm around him and pulled him tighter to me. Then he said, “I missed you, those mean old lady’s wouldn’t let me see you or mom”. Those words stung even more than the injuries. I fought back tears, as I held him, but then something in me snapped back into place, and the cold darkness flew away.
“Don’t worry Son, Well get back home soon, I promise”. “Daddy I’m so glad to see you, but what happened to Momma, those mean ladies won’t tell me anything they just seem sad whenever I ask about it”. I took a deep breath, and said with tears staining my eyes, “Kyle, God needed mom for a very special mission, so he called her back to heaven, so she could become of his angels”. Kyle seemed confused but asked sincerely “Then can we go to heaven too?”. “Not yet, but one day when its our time, we’ll get called up too and we can see her again”. “But when will that be, I wanna see her now” Kyle complained. I hugged closer “I’m sorry son, but we won’t be able to for a long time”. My son was a very smart kid and by that point he caught up on what I was saying, and I could see tears well in his eyes as he started to cry. I just held him close until he eventually fell asleep in my arms.
The next few months passed in a blur, but I had now regained my drive, I fought through the physical therapy and eventually was back on my feet. Months passed and I managed to adjust to taking care of Kyle alone. It was hard, and I missed Lynn every day, but humans are good at adjusting. With my demanding Job I had to hire a maid to clean the house and started to order take out more often that was probably healthy for me and Kyle. In the blink of an eye a year had passed. Kyle was the greatest child you could ever imagine, I really struggled to get through this year, but he was different stronger. He would help me, make his own lunch when I forgot it, take the bus to and from school and his grades never even dropped. He truly was an amazing kid.
Then early one morning while I was getting breakfast ready, he ran into the kitchen, then approached me, I could tell he wanted to ask something, but he didn’t know how to approach it. “Good morning, buddy, so what up” I gently probed, he replied “Well, you’ve been busy, but I wanted to ask if, it would be, well, you know, okay if, we go back to the lake again”, My smile froze, “The lake” I questioned, “Yeah you’ve been away a lot, and I’ve been trying to play with my friends, but its just not the same. we used to go all the time, and well I’d really like to go again”. I paused for a moment and thought to myself, wow I’m a terrible dad. This kid used to go out every day with his mother, they loved the outdoors, it’s been a whole year and I’ve been to busy at work to even take him out once. I could feel my heart breaking, so I said “Sure, let’s go on Saturday”. His smile brightens the room. I have not seemed him this happy in a long time and it even lightened my own mood. Although the second he left to get on the bus, a dark dread crept into my heart. The lake, I honestly never wanted to go back there. There were too many memories there, too much I didn’t want to face. But if its to keep that boy smiling, I’d do anything.
The rest of that week went by quickly, I bought a whole new set of camping gear, pack snacks, and everything you’d need to make some s’more, all the while mentally preparing myself to go back to the lake. Then the fateful day arrived, we woke early, 06h00 AM, fumbled everything into the car. Then made the short drive to the lake. It was a bright clear day, easily 30C, with a cool wind that blew through the trees, rustling the leaves. It was by all accounts a perfect day, we drove up to the old mining operation, its hard packed dirt and chiseled limestone walls, looking over the dark, yet surprisingly clean water of the lake. I was always surprised how the water never got stagnate, even though it always sat still. That day was actually fun, it felt like old times again, we ran through the forests, catching every bug we could find, we even found an old slimy toad underneath a small berry bush.
Too soon the golden rays of the sun started to creep behind the hills in the distance. I was complexly exhausted, keeping up with an 8-year-old is hard work, I cannot understand how they fit so much energy into such a small body. So, we headed back into the car, and started to unpack the tents. Of course, we didn’t setup right on the edge of the water. That would be slightly silly, as I would hate to wake up and plunge straight into the water first thing in the morning. So, we headed a ways away from the lake. We setup the camp in a small clearing in-between some old firs, its was better to setup slightly outside the old mining area as the dirt was so hard packed there you struggled to hammer in the tent’s pegs. We gathered some large stone and build a roaring campfire. We had snacks, ate S’mores, then as the full moon hung brightly in the sky, I could see Kyles eyes slowly droop closed. I gently scooped him into my arms and carried him into his tent. As I tucked him into his sleeping back, he softly said to me, half asleep. “Daddy, thanks, today I almost felt like mom was back”. Those words stung my heart, and I knew we would have to come back to the lake more often. He was a great kid, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t missing Lynn, and I needed to do a better job. I slowly crept out of his tent making as little noise as possible. Quickly smoothing the fire, then crawling into my own tent, and as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out.
I jolted awake, “Daddy, quickly over here” I heard Kyle call from the distance. I rubbed my eyes, still groggy. Kids… it should really be impossible for them to have this much energy. I slowly unzipped myself from the sleeping back and slowly pushed out the flap of the tent. It was still midnight. The kid basically got like 2 hours of sleep and is out and about already, But I can’t really blame him though it’s been a year since any real outing after all. I grab my flashlight, flicked it on, sending out a thing beam of light into the dark woods, and head out into the cool night air. I didn’t really need the flashlight; I was a full moon and most of the forest was visible, but it never hurts to have, I guess. I was about to call out when I heard it again even further away “Daddy, quickly over here” he called out from the direction of the lake.
I slowly trudged my way through the underbrush. “Kyle, where are you” I called out. “Daddy, quickly over here”. I finally emerged from the tree line, looking out over the lake. Its water pitch black under the moonlight, and then a heard a splash, a giggle and my I saw Kyle leisurely paddling in the lake. The lake was deep, and I mean, really deep. Its an old mine, so it easily went 50m down. We never let Kyle ever swim in the lake, just to be safe. “Kyle what do you think your doing, get out there now” I called out over the water. He just giggled and said playfully “Daddy, quickly over here”. I was furious and was just about to jump in and drag him back to shore when I noticed it,” Daddy, quickly over here”, he said again. The same words, said in the same way, exactly the same way, like straight from a tape recorder.
I slowly moved the beam of the torch onto the boy. He looked just like Kyle, exactly the same. Maybe I’m just being crazy, it must just be him finally letting lose after keeping his feeling bottled up for so long, I told myself. “Come on Kyle, lets get you dried off” I call out again. The boy cocked his head to the side staring up at me and said “Daddy, quickly over here”. His bright green eyes reflected back the light from the torch, and I froze, Kyle has brown eyes. The thing in the water lifted it hand up out of the water becoming me in “Daddy, quickly over here” it said copying my son perfectly. Then I heard a voice in the distance. “Daddy are you looking for me”.
I froze for a brief moment, then ran, I burst through bushed, trampled plants along the way, but I didn’t care I ran with everything I had, back to the camp. I burst through the tree line and saw Kyle’s head poking out of his tent, he was rubbing his eyes, his brown eyes. I ran towards him yanked him out of the tent and sprinted to the car. I threw Kyle into the backseat, and grabbed the front door, “Daddy, quickly over here” I heard a faint call in the distance, and a pair of glowing green eyes staring from lake in the distance. I jumped in and hit the gas. 20 minutes later we where home, Kyle was confused and terrified. “Daddy, what’s wrong why did we have to go” I looked over at him and said “Its nothing, just the lake, well, we can’t go there anymore, I think we need to find a new place to camp”. He looked up at me confused but said “Fine, I’m going back to sleep” he gave me a hug and turned to go to his bedroom, but as he left, I saw something, something faint..
Now I’m sitting here in my bedroom typing up this post, thoughts swirling in my head, because as Kyle entered his bedroom, he opened it with his right hand, not his left like he usually would, and for a moment I saw a flash of green in his eyes. I am no longer sure if that thing across the hall is my son, and if not, how do I get him back?