I was young and dumb, hanging out with a guy called Bullshit Billy. He didn’t like being called Bullshit Billy. He preferred to be called Billy because he didn’t like his reputation of spewing lies every time he opened his mouth.
There was always some reason he needed money. He was on crack and had been to prison. He was a con artist, and he knew how to con.
One day, I tallied up all of the money I gave him that got stolen from him, or he somehow lost. I knew it wasn’t lost or stolen; he spent it on drugs, and I was going to get it back. I needed help, though. I was young and dumb and didn’t know how to collect on a debt. I had already tried fighting him, but he was a slippery fuck and talked me out of it.
I texted my friend Chris, who I’ve seen firsthand collect debts from people who didn’t want to give money up. He said something about how he was going to kill Billy if he didn’t cough it up. I didn’t take it real seriously as I wasn’t going to let it come to that.
I still had to be around him because of mutual friends, and one day, I found myself in my car alone with him. I was less than thrilled and was looking for a reason to drop him off. He complied and asked to use my phone to figure out where I would drop him off. He scrolled through my text messages and found Chris saying he was going to kill him.
He immediately jumps out of the car while it’s still moving and runs to a random guy in his driveway. I left, happy to get Bullshit Billy out of my car.
Minutes later, I’m pulled over by the police. This isn’t a regular traffic stop. There were multiple cars, and they had their guns on me.
They eventually found out that it was a bullshit phone call, and I didn’t have whatever they were looking for, and I was sent on my way. They even organized my car while they searched it. I’m not sure why, maybe as an apology for pulling their guns on me and making me lay on the ground.
I didn’t hear from Billy for about a week. Then, one night, he knocked on my bedroom window, telling me he had my money. He also told me knew where a bunch of girls and liquor were, and he needed a ride to get there.
Billy directs me to a trailer park called Rainbow Village. One of the nastiest trailer parks in the county. Constant murders and drug use.
I get out of the car, and instead of girls and liquor, there are two older guys in their 40s with swastikas and other prison tattoos. Billy told me everything was inside and insisted on borrowing my car to get the money. I figured I’d report it stolen if it didn’t come back, so I handed him the keys like a dumbass.
While I walk into the trailer, there’s a guy in front of me and a guy behind me. The entire room is wrapped in plastic. The furniture, the floor, and even the appliances were all wrapped in plastic. They told me they were moving, which didn’t make much sense. So I sat down on a chair wrapped in plastic.
They gave me a strange look when I did as if my behavior indicated something was off about me. Nevertheless, they offered me some cocaine. I told them I don’t do coke, and I once again got a confused look.
Now, I was starting to catch on. I was there to be murdered. That’s what all the confused looks were. If I was who Billy said I was, I would have known that a long time ago. They were only letting me live because something seemed off about the whole situation to them.
I made the decision to keep playing dumb until an opportunity to get out alive presented itself.
One of the men kept asking me questions and then going outside while the other one would talk on the phone. I remember one of the questions was, “Why do they call him Bullshit Billy?” I responded, “Because everything he says is a lie.” He kept leaving the trailer to go and talk on the phone over and over again. The man who sat in the room with me wasn’t much for small talk or talking at all. All I could get out of him was a disinterested grunt when I tried to start a conversation.
Eventually, both of them walked outside together for ten or so minutes. When they came back in, they told me Billy was coming to pick me up. I was given strict instructions to face straight ahead and continue looking straight ahead as I got in the car. They did not want me to look at the address on the trailer. I followed the instructions, and off I went.
The last thing I remember about that night was Billy being visibly frustrated and me chewing him out for smoking in my car.
Fast forward about a week. The person who introduced me to Billy informed me that he was shot to death in his front yard. He was asking if I knew anything. I played dumb.
Whoever those guys were, I wasn’t going to become a witness against them in court, and I frankly didn’t even care that they shot Billy. Billy had it coming.