When I was in high school, I went through a bit of a goth phase. I’m not embarrassed by that or anything. A lot of people go through one, and I don’t really think there’s anything all that odd about it. Hell, you could probably even argue that I never really left it. I still wear a lot of black and listen to the same bands as I did back then, but hey, I’m getting off topic here.
My school was right across the street from a cemetery and for some reason, I thought it would make me seem cool, creepy, and mysterious if I went there to hang out during my lunch period.
Yeah, I know. Edgy.
Truth be told, there wasn’t really anything to actually do at the cemetery. But my dumbass 14 year old brain was convinced it was what I needed to do to seem deep, dark, and mysterious, and so I hung around the cemetery in the middle of the day, like a dumbass.
Sometimes I’d go alone and sometimes I’d go with a few friends of mine who shared my appreciation for The Cure and black hair dye. There, we’d talk about music or smoke cigarettes we’d bought from the corner store. The sign said that anyone under 19 wasn’t allowed to buy them, but the clerk didn’t give a shit so long as he got paid.
Honestly, as pastimes went, I guess I could’ve been doing a lot worse than smoking with my friends in a cemetery. We weren’t hurting anyone. We weren’t defacing the graves (except with the odd used cigarette butt) and none of the residents seemed to complain. Looking back, I don’t know if I really regret the time I spent in the cemetery, even when you factor in what eventually happened… But then again, if we hadn’t been there, we never would’ve met Her.
It was during one of our cemetery visits, after school, that I first saw Her. I’d gone for a walk through the headstones with some friends of mine, Austin MacIsaac and Ash Davenport. Ash had bought a pack of smokes and we were going to hang out in the cemetery like we had a dozen times before, smoking, brooding, angsting, and talking about music.
Come to think of it, I’m sure that Austin saw Her first. I remember that he’d been lagging behind Ash and I a bit when he’d just stopped and stared out at something nearby. It took me a moment to realize that there was anyone else but us there.
She was wearing a black dress with a red shawl draped over her shoulders. Her hair was long and black. I remember that her dress had little white hearts on it too. She wore boots lined with a faux fur trim and long black fingerless gloves that passed her elbows. She would’ve fit in well with our little group. Judging by the wreath of marigolds she was decorating a headstone with, it was easy to assume she’d come to pay her respects. But looking behind her, so many other headstones looked like they’d recently been decorated with flower trims and garlands that it couldn’t have just been that.
It’s funny but, well… I don’t exactly remember what she looked like. Maybe it’s just been so long that the memory has faded. Maybe that’s a good thing. What I do remember is that she was cute but there was something off about her face… Something not quite right about her features. They were wrong somehow… Her eyes were too big, her nose and mouth were too small. It’s hard to remember exactly what it was. What I do remember is that when she looked up at us, I felt the strangest mix of unease and attraction. From the corner of my eye, I could see that Ash had noticed her too. She’d stopped dead in her tracks to stare at the girl, just like we had. She looked like she might’ve been about our age, but I knew I’d never seen her before.
“Hello there.” She said, Her voice was high-pitched and had an unusual accent, as if English wasn’t her first language. All these years later and I still can’t quite figure out what it was.
“Hey.” Austin was the first of us to speak, “What’s up?”
“Just getting ready for the party tonight. It’s going to be something…”
Her smile grew wider.
“There’s a party?” I asked.
“You didn’t know? My friends and I are going to throw a huge party tonight at midnight. I’m surprised you didn’t hear about it… You look like you’d fit right in.”
“You’d be cool if we joined?” I asked, “I don’t think we know you…”
“What better an opportunity to change that?” She said, “My name is Mariah. What’s yours?”
“Oh, um, I’m Austin!” Austin said before I could speak. He hadn’t taken his eyes off of Mariah since the moment that we’d seen her. “This is Ash, and this is Mike.”
“Austin, Ash and Mike…” She repeated thoughtfully, “I’ll remember you… I think my friends would really like you. I’ll have to let them know you’re coming. You are coming, right?”
“Yeah! Yeah, absolutely!” Austin said, looking back at us. I could see an uneasy look on Ash’s face but I nodded. Anyone who’d throw a party in a cemetery was probably super cool (in my opinion, as a dumbass 15 year old).
Mariah’s grin widened.
“I’m looking forward to it…” She said softly, “I should get back to decorating… But I’ll see you tonight.”
“Wait, do you need any help?” Austin asked. I almost considered offering my help as well, until I felt Ash’s hand on my shoulder. She looked at me, clear concern written all over her face. Austin was all too happy to saunter off with Mariah. Ash seemed to have other ideas.
“We’ve got to go, actually.” She said, “Sorry.”
“What? Where?” Austin asked.
“We just do.”
“Well, I’ll catch up then. I’ll see you later.”
He dismissed us with a thoughtless wave of his hand and Ash didn’t press the issue. She just tugged me by the shoulder away.
“What the hell?” I remember asking although my frustration died in my throat the moment I saw just how pale she was.
“Ash, what is it?”
“Did you get a look at her?” She asked, her voice quaking slightly. “Did you actually look at her fucking face?”
“What are you talking about?”
“That wasn’t a person, Mike! I don’t know what the hell she was but that wasn’t a person!”
I stared at her as if she was completely insane. Hell, she sounded completely insane to me at that moment…
I still don’t know what Ash saw that I didn’t, but she looked more afraid than I’d ever seen her before.
I left not too long after. I didn’t see Austin anywhere in the cemetery, otherwise I might’ve helped him and Mariah set up. I didn’t want to deal with Ash and whatever the hell was wrong with her either. I took my share of the cigarettes, picked up some pizza from the store down the street and had a smoke before heading home.
My plan was to go and get ready for the party. It didn’t exactly work out the way I wanted it to. There’s a funny thing about smoking. It sticks to your clothes. The second I walked in the door my Dad was on me about it.
I don’t want to go through the entire argument again. I don’t really think it’s necessary. But needless to say, I got chewed the fuck out and I wasn’t going anywhere that night. At the time, it seemed like the worst possible punishment I could get…
What they found in the cemetery the next morning is still talked about in my town to this day.
The local news talked about it for weeks afterward and even now, nobody actually knows what happened. I’ll admit that even I only know bits and pieces.
The morning after Austin, Ash, and I met Mariah in the cemetery, they found most of the graves exhumed. Old caskets had been broken. Bodies had been dragged out. Rotting flesh had been eaten, bones had been snapped to get at the marrow and there wasn’t a single sign of whoever was responsible…
The next day at school, in amongst the whispers of the ‘vandalism’ at the cemetery, I couldn’t help but notice that Austin wasn’t there. Ash didn’t say a word to me, but the look she gave me still haunts me to this day… A quiet, thousand yard stare. She knew what I couldn’t accept back then. She knew that we’d never see Austin again.
It took them a few days to figure out that some piles of gore were a lot more fresh than the others. Two of them were later identified as belonging to local vagrants who’d probably been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Three belonged to other students at my school… Take a guess who one of them was.
Austin… Or what was left of Austin was buried in the same cemetery he’d died in. All these years later and I’ve never had the courage to go and visit him, though. If I ever set foot in that cemetery again, it will be too soon.
Sometimes, when I drive past I can swear that I see a girl in a red shawl walking amongst the headstones. Sometimes I swear that she’s looking at me. I never stare for too long. Something tells me that if I do, I might find myself drawn to walk amongst the headstones one last time. And I don’t know if I’ll ever walk out.