I refurbish computers for a living, and I find some really wild stuff that previous owners left on them.
It’s crazy to me that in 2023, so few people realize that what they do online and on their computers is as real and tangible as anything else they do in life. It’s like they think it’s all over the second they cut ties with it and drop it in the mail. “New laptop, new me” kind of attitude. Meanwhile, my job is to actually wipe up after them.
When I first started a couple of years ago, I used to not really poke around outside of erasing the drive and doing a fresh install. I guess out of a sense of honor, respect for privacy, etc. But I’ve always been curious, and honestly, as time has gone on, I’ve gotten bored, too. And it definitely keeps things interesting.
I feel a little weird doing it sometimes because I know it’s really on the borderline of creepy/invasive, but also, it’s not my fault that people are careless with their personal information. Once it gets to me, none of what’s on there should be considered private anymore, in my opinion.
As you can imagine, a lot of it is NSFW/NSFL/Rule 34 content that has totally blown my mind. It’s actually insane what you can do with ai now. Some of the stuff, though, is seriously fucked up in ways that I think this sub will appreciate.
I found the below on an older model MacBook that was part of an estate sale, if I remember correctly. I cut the addresses and switched out some of the names, but the rest is word for word what was in the email exchange.
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Inquiry about Specialized Cleaning Services (Confidential)
From: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
To: ClutterBusters (clutterbustersllc@(redacted))
Hi Brian,
I’m reaching out about something that’s both urgent and a bit out of the ordinary. I work with Tom Morton, who gave me your contact info. He says he had a somewhat similar issue with his grandmother in Maine, and you’re the best.
Do you have representatives in (redacted)? Would you be available to start work immediately? I really need someone out here ASAP.
Thank you in advance for your assistance.
Best regards,
Jon
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Re: Inquiry about Specialized Cleaning Services (Confidential)
From: ClutterBusters (clutterbustersllc@(redacted))
To: Jonathan Doe Jonathan.doe@(redacted)
Dear Mr. Doe,
Thank you for reaching out to ClutterBusters. We appreciate the opportunity to assist you.
Could you please provide some more detail about what you are looking for? I noted the confidential nature of your request.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Brian
ClutterBusters
clutterbustersllc@(redacted)
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Re: Inquiry about Specialized Cleaning Services (Confidential)
From: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
To: ClutterBusters (clutterbustersllc@(redacted))
Hi Brian,
Thanks for getting back to me so quickly.
Sorry for being vague earlier; this situation is a little sensitive.I’ve inherited a property that’s in really rough shape due to a family member’s hoarding. It’s way more than I can handle on my own.
It is a large estate and is well-known in the community. You can’t see it at all from the outside, but inside, I’m honestly not sure how much will be salvageable. I need to get it cleaned out first.
I’m located in (redacted). Could you provide me with a quote and let me know if you have a team available in my area?
Appreciate your discretion on this matter.
Best regards,
Jon
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Re: Inquiry about Specialized Cleaning Services (Confidential)
From: ClutterBusters (clutterbustersllc@(redacted))
To: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
Dear Mr. Doe,
Thank you for the details. I understand the urgency and sensitivity of the situation.
I’m glad to inform you that we do have a team in (redacted), and we can schedule them to start work as early as this week. However, I would like to make sure we are the right fit for you. Can you send over some pictures?
Sincerely,
Brian
ClutterBusters
clutterbustersllc@(redacted)
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Re: Inquiry about Specialized Cleaning Services (Confidential)
From: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
To: ClutterBusters (clutterbustersllc@(redacted))
Hey Brian,
Thanks. I’m glad to hear that you have a team in (redacted), and I appreciate your willingness to take on this project.
I hate to complicate things, but I do have a small favor to ask. Due to the family history and personal nature of this project, it would be best if we both sign an NDA. I hope you don’t mind. It’s just to keep everything private and confidential to respect the family’s privacy.
I’ve attached the NDA for you to look over. If everything looks good, please sign it and send it back. I’m happy to also provide a small retainer for you in advance as we work this out if your company allows it.
Thanks again, Brian. I’m really looking forward to getting this all sorted out with your help.
Please feel free to call my office with any questions.
Best,
Jon
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Re: Inquiry about Specialized Cleaning Services (Confidential)
From: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
To: ClutterBusters (clutterbustersllc@(redacted))
Hi Brian,
Thanks for sending over that signed copy of the NDA, and please let me know if all went well with that wire transfer.
So, unfortunately, I don’t have pictures. I didn’t even think of it when I was there last. I was only there the one time, too; I haven’t had the stomach to go back.
I’ll try to head out to the property to get more photos for you, but it might be challenging, given the current state of the place. I’ll do my best to describe it for you in the meantime.
A little about Aunt Elle first. She was really a lovely woman. But there was a family tragedy- a boating accident- in the lake adjacent to the estate, and she lost her husband, my great uncle, and her two sons. I’ve been reading up on hoarding, and I guess you must be used to that. The family tragedies. I’ve been thinking a lot about what makes someone jump off that deep end.
But anyway, I say that because the decline happened so gradually, the family didn’t even have time to notice. I remember, 40 years ago, she was an amazing hostess when I was a kid. The house was a little over-stuffed, I guess, but not even close to how it is now. I guess I just don’t want you to think we abandoned her or anything. We really didn’t know. Apparently, no one in the town knew either, which is why we want to keep this as quiet as possible.
What is bizarre is that the foyer is immaculate when you first walk in. I guess she knew that’s as far as she had to let people in.
So anyway, the worst parts of the top of my head:
-The grand staircase in the center of the house- this is the first to come to mind. It looked like maybe she had been sleeping in the living room. I am honestly not sure how it is still standing under the weight of all of it.
-Some chandeliers- maybe all of them- fell and shattered. There is broken glass everywhere, so you will want to let your team know.
-The kitchen smelled so bad that I didn’t even try to open the door.
-The hallways are filled with yellowed newspapers, rotting books, etc.- probably about eye-level with me (I’m 6’2).
- The fireplace in the living room is filled with children’s toys. I mean filled. Maybe all the way to the top (I’m only half-kidding)
-The ceiling has given out in some rooms on the second floor. I don’t even want to think about the third floor.
-I looked in the study quickly, but all I saw was something dark rubbed all over the walls.
-I tried to open the door to the drawing room, but I could only get it a couple of inches. It was filled about knee-high with what looked like just general trash and maybe some dirt. I didn’t even bother opening any other doors after that; I knew it was beyond anything I could do.
I hope this gives you a clearer picture of what we’re dealing with. I appreciate your willingness to tackle this, and I’ll get those photos over to you as soon as I can.
Best regards,
Jon
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Re: Inquiry about Specialized Cleaning Services (Confidential)
From: ClutterBusters (clutterbustersllc@(redacted))
To: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
Hi Jon,
First and foremost, I want to extend my heartfelt condolences for your loss. The story of Aunt Elle and the tragedy that befell her and your family is deeply moving. You’re right; we encounter family tragedies in our line of work, but each is unique and profoundly human. I assure you that we will handle this task with the utmost care and respect.
The wire transfer went through smoothly. Thank you for taking care of those details.
As for the pictures, please don’t worry about it. Your description has provided a good initial understanding of the situation. I want you to know that we’ve handled challenging cases before and are up to the task. As stipulated and detailed in the contract, some services may have surcharges. We will provide that information after our initial consultation.
I’ve already spoken with our (redacted) team, and we can have someone out to the property within 48 hours. They will assess the situation on-site and begin the process of planning the cleanup. I assure you we’ll take every necessary precaution to handle this safely and discreetly.
Thank you again for entrusting us with this significant responsibility.
Please feel free to reach out anytime if you have questions or concerns.
Best,
Brian
ClutterBusters
clutterbustersllc@(redacted)
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Re: Inquiry about Specialized Cleaning Services (Confidential)
From: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
To: ClutterBusters (clutterbustersllc@(redacted))
Hi Brian,
I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am for your understanding and swift action.
I was planning to be out at the property this weekend, so the timing works out perfectly. It’ll be good to see some progress.
Please extend my thanks to your team, and thank you again,
Jon
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Re: Inquiry about Specialized Cleaning Services (Confidential)
From: ClutterBusters (clutterbustersllc@(redacted))
To: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
Hi Jon,
Our policy is to give an update on our initial evaluation (attached). Please see the summary below:
1. Foyer: As discussed, the entryway was relatively clean. We did find copious amounts of what looked to be salt underneath the welcome mat, but there was no notable cleaning done aside from that.
2. Kitchen: There might be an extra charge associated with the cleaning here, and we cannot guarantee that all fixtures will pass a home inspection afterward. It looks as if your aunt had been collecting various cuts of meat without properly storing them. The decaying process has led to issues such as wood warping on the tables and counters, and it has attracted various pests and wildlife.
3. Butler’s Pantry: It looks as if the walls in this pantry were initially covered in a striped wallpaper, but it has been half-painted over in what seems to be red oil paint. Mason jars are overflowing from the shelves and stacked about waist-high. Most appear to be intact. Each seems to be filled with the same substance, which is thick, brownish-green in color, and otherwise indiscernible.- (Would you like us to dispose of these jars altogether?)
4. Drawing Room: This room was filled approximately two feet high with a mixture of mulch and various other objects, including what looked to be a collection of porcelain dolls. Sticks and branches were thatched together and lined the room. Unfortunately, many of the dolls were broken when they were buried. The team will not be able to clear them out without damaging them. The furniture will probably require professional reupholstering, as it was also mostly submerged in dirt, with the exception of a mattress and bedding that we recommend be disposed of.
5. Dining Room: Our team wanted to flag that it seemed like all of the knives were missing from the drawers. Many were found embedded in the bottom of the dining room table, but a few seemed to be missing in cataloging. Three of the twelve chairs had what looked to be scorch marks on them. One chandelier was partially intact but had what looked to be brown handprints, as if someone had tried to pull it down or put it back up.
6. Wine Cellar: Like the kitchen, there might be an extra charge here. It appears most of the wine bottles were shattered and/or poured on the floor. The racks themselves remain untouched. You may want to consult with a wine restoration expert to salvage what might remain of the collection. There are three intact bottles, which appear to be from a nearby vineyard, bottled in June of 1966. The concrete floor might have permanent red staining, but we will know once we start in that area.
7. Study: This room requires new drywall and painting- there is little to do in cleaning the walls because the words you noted in your previous email have been deeply etched with what looks to be ink, considering the empty pots on the desk. The words read: “Birds of a feather, birdy boy, birds of a feather, bird boy.” This is repeated about 50 or so times. There are some sketches of birds as well. On the ceiling are the words “Fly” and “Home.”
8. Living Room/Bathroom: Unfortunately, it seems the first floor bathroom became unusable some time ago, and a corner of the living room was repurposed for this reason. The team believes this is where the worst of the smell is coming from. As for the fireplace, we actually found that to be clear. Perhaps you were mistaken, or there has been some wildlife activity indoors, as the team actually found a great deal of toys scattered over the carpets. They did not appear to have dust, indicating they had been moved recently.
9. Staircase: We will be concentrating on the staircase so the team can get to the higher floors. Behind the stacks of books, a number of doors were taken off of the hinges throughout the house and potentially collected from other locations as well. They have been placed upright and, in many instances, appear to have been cemented to the stairs with cinder blocks behind them. This excess weight is probably what has caused the significant warping. Of note, we have found additional large quantities of what looks to be salt in front of the doors.
Please review the attached and confirm the next steps you would like to take.
Have a good weekend,
Brian
ClutterBusters
clutterbustersllc@(redacted)
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Re: Inquiry about Specialized Cleaning Services (Confidential)
From: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
To: ClutterBusters (clutterbustersllc@(redacted))
Hi Brian,
Wow. I don’t even know where to start.
Thank you for the report. I knew it was bad, but seeing it all written down really drives it home. I noticed that the report didn’t have pictures of the study. Are you sure that it said “Birdy Boy”? I’ll be out there soon anyway to see for myself, but I just had to ask.
I can’t believe it, to be honest. I’m surprised Aunt Elle would remember that nickname. I mean, I didn’t even remember until I read your email. I was only there for a couple of summers. It’s because of my middle name, Jay. Wow. What a throwback. And how fucking sad, also. I wish I had just called more.
Anyway, plan outlined in the report looks great. And feel free to go ahead and toss the jars.
Thanks,
Jon
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Can you call me back ASAP
From: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
To: ClutterBusters (clutterbustersllc@(redacted))
Hi Brian,
I tried calling you a couple of times. Can you call me back as soon as you can? I know it’s a Saturday, but I’m parked outside the house, and I have a few questions.
I arrived early, at 5:00 a.m., and there was already a van here. I played back the camera footage at the front gate, and it’s showing that just one guy showed up, and not until almost 3:00 a.m. two nights ago.
Is it normal for you to start that early? And is your team walking in around the back or something?Please call me back ASAP.
Sorry again for all of this on the weekend.
Jon
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Re: Can you call me back ASAP
From: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
To: ClutterBusters (clutterbustersllc@(redacted))
Brian,
I am really confused. I’m doing a walk-through of the house, and it’s been the better part of a week. I thought there would be more progress?
It looks like maybe someone started going through some of the rooms and the piles. I can see what you described in the report. But our contract says you will provide a full scope of industrial-level cleaning. Largely, this place is the same as when I last left it.
I am incredibly confused and disappointed.
Also, did someone cut themself? There are red footprints throughout the whole house. It looks almost like they were barefoot.
Call me.
Jon
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Re: Can you call me back ASAP
From: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
To: ClutterBusters (clutterbustersllc@(redacted))
I will level with you right now. I don’t want to call the police or get the legal system involved. Like I said, we are really trying to keep this a quiet family matter. I hope you can understand how devastating it would be to have my aunt’s reputation ruined after her death and how it would impact us all.
But this is fucking horrifying.
It’s like someone came through the house and somehow made it worse. Like you’re messing with me. Or mocking me. Like someone organized the meat in the kitchen??? So there’s just a bunch of half-rotten skulls in size order on the counter. The mason jars are emptied out in the sink, but it’s completely clogged up and smells horrible. It’s bubbling. God knows what it is doing to the pipes. The dolls have all been arranged like they’re having a demented tea party in the dining room with the knives laid out in front of thhem. What the
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(no subject)
From: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
To: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
Actually, I’m sorry. It looks like your team focused on the staircase, like you said. It looks brand-new. It really reminds me of when I was a kid. I can’t believe how clean it is. It’s almost glowing. I’m going to check the second floor. Thanks.
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Re: (no subject)
From: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
To: Jonathan Doe (jonathan.doe@(redacted))
Hi Birdyboy,
Welcome back to the nest.
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