So I (26yo male) started working at a small Café as a line cook about 7 months ago. And when i first saw one of the servers there i thought she was kinda cute, but dating in work is bad and I needed to learn my job so I just ignored it for a couple months and didn’t really talk to her. She looked like 19 anyways so I just stayed away from her.
I became friends with the dishwasher (23yo male) over this time period, we chilled at my apartment, played video games, I sold him his first guitar, he was pretty cool we talked alot but it was always super hard to plan anything with him. He was always busy
Well that server kept giving me looks every now and then and it almost made me uncomfortable, then I found out the server was 23yo and not 19 like thought.. so I thought hey.. why not get her number and just talk to her. Just don’t try to date her till you get a new job in 6months-year. It will be fine…I said to myself.
The same day I got her number was the same day my dishwasher buddy got a new job. Also the same day he asked if I was dating or had a gf or anything (not in a gay way at all js) and I was like no not really, I been single 3 years and live alone. But I just got servers name’s number and i kinda been crushing on her so I’ll see where that goes. You? And he told me about a not so serious date he had with a girl in a few days to talk about theology.
I suggested me, him and the server hang out at my place that night to chill since he will be gone in 2 weeks. He said sure, then I invited her and she said yeah too. I was happy. It was the first times friends were coming over to my new apartment (the dishwasher had been to my old apartment a few times)
It was all purely platonic and we played a card game I got them into (MTG) and I gave them a tour of my place where we found a box with all my posters I haven’t put up yet. She said she wanted to help me decorate my new apartment and put up my posters and stuff sometimes and i said that would be awesome!
Several weeks go by and none of us really talk much. I asked if she wanted to come put up posters one day and she said “I’m packing for a family vacation right now, if i have time this evening i’ll let you know, if not i definitely will when i get back in town! But nothing ever came of that plan..
The dishwasher, with his new job, he was busy and didn’t come over anymore. He was already hard to plan things with before.. but now he was just not replying till a week later, or not at all. But the server and I talked here and there about life and stuff. Nothing intimate. She invited me to another servers house and we hung out there a couple times. But I never spent time with her alone or really talked about anything serious. Just casual stuff.
We all hung out again once by the river close by and caught up with each other about 2 months after the dishwasher got a new job. He said he was going away for several months for his new job. (That’s where he is now as I write this. Hes in another state.)
When we all hung out I kinda felt some vibes between them both but I wasn’t really sure. They didn’t seem flirty and he had never talked about her at work or at all else otherwise. But it seemed like there was something there maybe. But he was leaving the state for his new job soon anyways so I didn’t think about it.. he wasn’t talking to me, her, or any other co workers much anymore.
Well after a couple weeks I finally asked the server if she wanted to hang out at my place after work before she goes home (I live a block from the Café) and she was like yeah sure!!
She stayed over for like 4 hours drinking her glass of wine she brought and we more or less kinda exchanged 10’s of stories about our past relationships and situations we’ve been in. Nothing extremely detailed or flirty tho, just interesting/funny stuff.. then she asked me if I had talked to the dishwasher since we all hung out. I said no he hasn’t replied for a while so I don’t wanna bother him, why do you ask?
And she said she heard from someone at work that he mite like her and was wondering if I knew or if he had ever said anything about her to me? And I said noo.. uhmm… but I did tell him that I mite have a crush on you tho, like a while ago 😬 and if he does like you that could be why he hasn’t been talking to me much..
There was an awkward silence for about 5 seconds where we both kinda looked at the ground.
My last brain cell tried to showed up and I looked her dead in the eyes and i said “your just uh..cute af” and we both kinda chuckled.. (that was it 😅🤣😭 THAT was my going down in flames pickup line lmao)
she said thanks, I appreciate it but uh I just.. I don’t see you like that…I see you as just a friend that’s all.. but when me you and him hung out by the river I just idk what I felt about him.. there was just something. And he’s flirted with me a few times, and I’ve told him I just wanna be friends.. but idk, there’s something about him that’s just easy to talk to..
I was like welllll, ask him out?
And she said (while she started laughing alittle) sooo I actually have a boyfriend..
WHAT?! how?? I’ve been working with you for almost 6 months and I’ve never heard you talk about him..?!
I’ve never needed to till now. Lol
How long you been with him?
3..3 and a half years now. And I love him, I do. And please don’t tell anyone anything I said about the dishwasher, promise me its a secret..
I promise.
But I love my bf. We didn’t really like each other when we met in high-school but I eventually got with him. I went all the way to Chicago to ask him to be with me.. and I’m a loyal gf, I’m faithful to him.
I don’t remember what else we talked about for the next 10 min before she left. But I asked for a hug, she hugged me and said we’ll hang out again soon, I said I’d see her at work. And she left.
The next day I texted her “ngl, that was a huge bomb shell you dropped the other day 😅 “
That was 2 weeks ago. She hasn’t replied. I only see her twice a week at work and nothing has been said about any of all that since.. it’s a bit awkward. I am so lost. 😅 someone send halp. Or maybe a new job. It would be nice if it payed better. Lol
I just by accident caught the vibes that someone sent out for somebody else.. maybe she made up the thing about a bf to avoid an awkward rejection? I could understand that. But…we still haven’t decorated my apartment.. 😒 and I was kinda looking forward to that.
-thanks for suffering with me this far through this post! Hope it was entertaining.