I’m no writer; however this story demands that I try. To let you know me better, here is a quick recap of me. I’m not special in any way; I have never been the best at anything.. or real hobbies.. other than a cold drink after a shift in my local store. Being in my mid twenties, I’d have to say that I’m doing rather well for myself. I live in a one-bedroom apartment with the company of a half-full fridge. Some may say that I seem to be depressed, but that never haunts my thoughts. I like the simplicity of my life. No vivid surprises, no relationship problems, just me and my head. Yes, sometimes I get sad or lonely, but my philosophy is that I do not have to be happy. I can endure it, so why not help those who cannot? This was the flaw in my story. You see, I realised that I just lied to myself about being as good as I’d like to believe. But that is for later. Lastly, even if I’m scared, even if I cant go on, I’m happy. Do not think of me as someone who promotes this, but hell, it seems as the only solution. I am happy.
The story starts as many do, on an ordinary day. I worked a long shift, 14 hours behind the counter, on the first day of my long weekend. It was nothing special, just the boredom of being alone in the store. Customers showing up for a minute and leaving with hours apart. This was going to be a slow weekend. It doesn’t matter. Just 8 more hours and I can go home. I just spend my time there like any other worker in customer service: watching shitposts on different apps. The posts repeat themselves. For some reason, even those stupid AI art spams did not stop. Why are people flooding everyone’s feed with this moronic stuff is just above me. But we watch it either way.. the most intelligent creatures.. Am I right? As closing time crawled nearer, I noticed a few weird things. Nothing like ghosts in the corners of my eyes. More in the realm of weather, getting almost 10 degrees colder, 5 inside of the store, rising fog and such. Yeah, that’s normal during winter in my town, but now, with hindsight, it should have been my first warning.
Near the end of my shift, a mom came into the store with her small daughter. Maybe 7 years old; however, I’m dismal at guessing the age of someone. Think of the start of the annoying age for children. That was her. Running curiously from aisle to aisle, while her mom slowly browsed for things she wanted to buy. Finally, they met in a snack aisle, where the daughter asked “how many can I have?”. That’s when I returned to my shitposts and stopped paying attention to them.
Shortly after they left with some sweets and other necessities, I noticed a small glove on the ground. As I went over to get it, I realised that it belonged to the little girl. I could still see them at a bus stop waiting for a bus if I looked down the street from the front window. I could have quickly locked the shop and went to give it back to them; but I did not. Well, sure, it’s their stuff and their problems, but when you want to be someone that saves the world, this is the least difficult thing you can do. I did not do it. Maybe it is from my overthinking, but the glove still haunts me. I could have done it. I could have been a good person, but I wasn’t. Surely they would realise that the glove is missing, and return to get it, right?
As I closed the shop, I was yet again thinking about the glove and those two. This is where I saw myself and my behavior as it was. Bad, just bad. With my philosophy, it is quite funny, right? “Well, nothing to do now”, I thought to myself and started to dream about a beer in my fridge and a bed. If they come, I will return it to them, and apologise, maybe make up a lie so they will not see me as I see myself. This began my vow that doomed me. Who wants to see their true self every day? Not me.
My apartment is about a 20 minutes from the shop by foot, so I put on my headphones and started the march. One last bit about me. I have no idea why I started it, but I find myself listening to ambient sounds, like forest, sea, empty city at midnight (this one is quite ironic, since I’m literally walking through an empty city at midnight) and others. I dont know why, but they are relaxing. They don’t pump me up as my preferred music genre, it just relaxes. Today it was the sounds of the forest. So, with chilled fingers, I scrolled until I found a live stream of a forest with sounds of animals. While walking, the sound of a slight cry or a howl was sometimes heard in the background. Crows, and squirrels, and crickets and other stuff, I cannot name, it was blissful. This is when it happened. The beginning. Walking and enjoying the sounds and the silence of the street, disrupted only by the animal sounds or a car passing by, was the best medicine. The fog helped me to feel safe, even though it started to fade. Each step is followed by another. As I was walking, now only about 5 minutes from my bed, the howl sounded. Right in my left ear, a mere centimeter away. Louder than a passing car, as if specially for me to notice. This left me stunned.. frozen. Too scared to move. Until finally looking around myself, nothing, just me, and an empty street.
“Some asshole put this in the ambient sounds to scare people” was my first rational thought. Still slightly frightened, I laughed to myself. I knew these types of videos. I’d met them before, but just didn’t expect it. Fun. A new step restarted my journey. Quickly meeting the oval glass building serving as a gatehouse for my block of apartments. Looking at the stretched out and twisted image of myself when walking past it. “Finally, home.” I sighed. Opening the fridge and having a beer was the first need of mine. Here I realised my original quest. No beer. “Fuck, have to do it tomorrow”.
The next day was as uneventful as the previous one; slow, boring, and obnoxiously long. Spent my time looking at the same three apps as every day: looking at the reposts from yesterday. Minding my own business. Cleaning and doing the necessary tasks to keep my sanity intact, or at least sane-ish. The mom did not come for the glove. Further deepening my weird misery about it.
Near the evening and closing time, a man came in. Opening the shop door, triggering the little bell and letting in the cold winter air with the mist seeping in. He started to look at the liquor. Browsing it for more than comfortable, I reminded myself of the glove. “I hate myself. Gotta help those in need” were the thoughts running through my mind as I put down my phone. “Need any help?” I asked. “Yeah, my girlfriend has a birthday, any recommendations?” He replied “Well, I found out that a plush toy and a vine does the trick.” Said I. “Hmm.. yeah, she could go for that, thanks.” Was the last sentence he said to me before the transaction. After choosing the cheapest, yet fanciest looking bottle and a cliche Teddy bear, the work ended and the closing time came.
Locking the door was the first time I saw the fog covering me, like a blanket made out of chilled air, now much thicker. “Hm, spooky night.” I said, and for some reason decided to put on the same stream as yesterday. It plays into the idea of a scary atmosphere, where even if I know a spook is coming, I do not know when. Looking up the stream, I found out that it was now a 3 hour long video. Not knowing when I started to listen to the stream yesterday, I played it from the beginning. “This pushes the unknown more, maybe I won’t get scared toda-“ the thought was interrupted by a sudden howl, now in my right ear, giving me a little fright. “This guy put in a multiple of these. Cheeky” I thought.
The walk, of now 10 minutes, was accompanied by a howl or a cry, from afar, slowly getting closer and closer. “Maybe it was like yesterday, now I’m just focusing on it more”. That could have been a possibility. Now it was not that spooky. I could expect it. Coming closer and closer to my left side, I awaited the loud cry. Nothing happened for a minute. Awaiting it, stopping my step, a speeding car drove past my left side. Not gonna lie to you, I almost shat myself. Not that I did not expect anything, but I focused on the silence and on the now well-known cry, that I had completely forgotten about the passing cars. Funny coincidence, right? Shortly after I calmed myself, almost as a joke, I heard the howl on my right side far behind me. It became too weird and too spooky, so I walked in silence for the rest of the walk. Coming home, I cursed myself. You probably guessed it. I forgot the beer at the shop. Yeah, nothing to do now, but to be beerless for another night.
The final day of my long week at work began as any other day, with one exception: I wrote the word BEER on my hand to not forget again. Walking to the shop, I kept reminding myself of that reality, vowing that it would be the day, the day I would not forget to buy it. Shortly after coming to the shop, the first thing was to take a sixpack of beer and put it into the employee fridge. Now that my plans were finished, back to work. Opening, cleaning, and preparing for the last day. After everything was done, I yet again returned to the good old faithful memes about corruption, different protests, and controversial topics. Few customers came in and came out like any other day. The only interesting thing was a man. Not that interesting to write about, but when you work in this profession, the sale of the most expensive bottle you have in the shop is something to celebrate. I even sent a photo of the empty space on the shelf to my boss, who laughed and messaged “Do not drink it all at once”. After that, it was yet another day at the grindstone; a motto of our shop of sorts. The only positive thing about my impending walk home today was the thought of having two days free to myself.
Closing time came quicker today than expected; maybe I was just not paying attention to the dark creeping in because of the fog, yet again thick and absorbing any sign of life outside of the shop. First, locking the doors, and then realising that I had forgotten the beer in the fridge. Yeah, I should not have washed my hands when going out of the toilet. So, shortly after returning to grab it and again locking the door, my march began. During the walk, I was picking out my headphones so I could listen to something on my walk like every night. Today I was in the mood for something more relaxing, maybe something to keep me warm. However, the charge in them got drained shortly after listening to the sounds of a sea on a tropical island. “Well, it seems like I will have to walk in silence today” I said to myself. It was quite cold and I could feel my lips getting dry and my eyes watering. When I was putting my hands to my face, so I could exhale into them and warm it, I heard a bawl and a playful bark, as if of a dog in the distance. “Heh, some monsters do not sleep” I thought.
Finally turning the corner and seeing the oval glass gatehouse of my building, I knew that the sweet and bitter taste of my favorite beverage was close. Looking at myself in the twisting reflection of the glass, studying the bizarre stretched-out torso and arms of myself as any other day. Finally, looking back at the path I was on, I heard it. The howl. The all-familiar cry of my last few nights. Much quieter than those nights. I stopped as if petrified. “Could it be just my imagination messing with me? Transforming a random sound into the stuff of nightmares?” It was behind me. My mind raced. “What was happening? Was it real?” I scaredly glanced again at the glass and saw a new shape, a second shape behind me. Then a grunt. “Wait..” This was the grunt of a woman. “did I imagine the demon behind me?” I focused on the second shape, and yes, the proportions were weird, but so were mine. Remembering the vow of helping others in need, I turned around, with the intention of helping. The turn on my heel stopped with fright.. Those.. Those long pale fingers of absurd proportions near my foot were the first thing I noticed. Stopping me.. forcing me to look at the abnormally enlarged and thin hand near my legs. Slowly glaring up at the thin and long arm, it was mesmerizing. Fighting the need to see, I failed and continued upwards. The face.. the pale face of an entity unhuman to any idea of a person.. holes as of an abyss on its face, towering over me. A grin with no mouth and enjoyment in its soulless sockets. This.. made those howls.. those cries. It followed me for days…
I cannot tell you how I escaped. I simply fail to remember anything after that. Only a haze of images of me running and locking the front door. Trembling, I was in my bed with a knife, thinking. A day passed by without having anything to eat or drink, just me and my thoughts. What was it? Was it a hallucination of a bored mind? Was it a dream? But then how could I not have the stomach to check my front door if it was truly locked? Failing to sleep another night, I stared at the crack in the blinds of my window; the fog was present; yet I heard nothing. Today is my last day at home.. safe. What if it was not a dream? The evening was creeping in fast, as if to provoke me. This is why I’m writing it. I managed to get out of bed in a mad haste to check the front door if it was locked. It was. I saw my bag on the floor near it. So, now I’m drinking a warm beer, already on my fifth one. What should I do? Is there anything I can do? If I’m losing my mind, so be it, but please don’t force me to face it again. Don’t force me to hear it again. The crushing pressure in my chest is choking me. What if it was real? What if it was not? The concrete under the window of my apartment is mostly unoccupied; maybe this way I could stop this. Please, if you are reading this.. if you hear it.. do not turn around. If you hear a cry in the middle of the night, then do not look. Be careful.
The fog is seeping into the apartment, from the door and the window. I think I can see it dancing in the white air.
I have to go..
..I’m sorry.