My daughter came to me with a confused and terrified face. She looked like she had just seen a murder. To this day I don’t know if she did or not.
I walked into the living room, where my wife usually sits and reads on her tiny couch. Her favorite blanket she wraps herself in every time never leaves this place. Yet, there she was. Frozen, like she had turned into stone. I know it sounds cliché, but I have no better way to describe it. Something was off about her, though. Her eyes had no iris or pupils, and her mouth hung open more than should be humanly possible.
Denial
I was speechless. Seeing the love of my life in such a dead-looking state left me at a blank. What could have happened to her? Only questions ran through my mind rather than grief. I tried to convince myself that this was a dream, a very very bad dream. But as I kept staring into her blank eyes, I knew this could only be real.
Anger
Over the days, I would emotionally deteriorate. Every time I would go check on her I would get a little more depressed. I would sit there for hours watching her, hoping she would come back. praying to whatever god did this to reverse it. Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, my voice would get louder with every prayer. My tone becoming more and more angry by the moment. Soon enough, I realized that I. Had never left that room for two months . My daughter would bring me food when I was hungry, but she would never speak. What could she say? In such a situation like this I’m sure she’s in shock too. Her own mother, reduced to nothing more than a lifeless statue.
Bargaining
Being in such a state makes you want to fix it. So I tried. I looked online for every solution there was possible. I tried everything to pouring scalding water over her head, to taking a hammer and smashing her perfect skin. Nothing worked.
Depression.
As time passed, my daughter would come in the room more often. She’d ask me questions like “daddy, when is mommy coming back?” Her little voice hit the deepest pits of my heart. Just when I felt I couldn’t feel any type of emotion, my daughter proved such beliefs wrong.
Acceptance.
One day, I woke up next to my wife, her eyes still blank and mouth still gaping. It had been half a year since she became still. She was still as perfect as when she left. I grabbed her hand and told her that I’ll be okay. I needed to break away from this new bell I’ve been put through. I walked out of the room for the first time in 6 months, and there stood my daughter. Eyes blank, but mouth not yet wide. She slipped out one last sentence before she ended up like her mother
“Daddy, I can’t feel anything”