Back in the early 2000’s when I grew up it was not uncommon for people to still have those large Tv’s with wide backs and bulbs inside that would warm up the entire room. I was six years old, growing up in west warwick. 2008 was not a great year for a lot of people financially. My Mom and Dad must have been going through something because I remember being alone a lot at home till late hours of the night but it was all I knew so I adapted. I’d make a bowl of cereal for Breakfast and lunch then for dinner unless Mom or Dad brought home fast food, usually mcdonalds. While they were gone I’d get right up in front of this Tv, watching my favorite movies like The Iron Giant and ‘James and the Giant Peach’ on repeat. Practicing the lines of the characters helped me enjoy them even more, and at night the heat from the bulbs hard at work on the Toy Story Menu screen, it would help me fall asleep.
When Mom got home from work and sat a bag of Taco bell on the counter it felt like the day was going to end nicely, maybe we would talk about each of our days and laugh at a joke I heard but as we sat at the table; for the first time, me and mother having a proper meal together, we wait for my Dad to get home. Well, we waited for most of the night. I fell asleep on the living room floor curled up in my sleeping bag facing the Tv. I only woke up when I heard my parents arguing loudly upstairs. Not an uncommon occurrence. I tried to fall back asleep, but just before I dozed off the Tv screen turned a dull pink color. At first this unnerved me because of the lack of sound coming from the television itself but also the warmth it produced didn’t fade. Quick before I even thought to press the off button I fell fast asleep to the toasty receiver emitting the dull blush pink color.
Next thing I remember is waking up to the house lit by the morning light and general quiet. This was wrong from the get go, my parents should have been getting ready for work. I got out of my bed and looked at the Tv, it was off and cold. I went upstairs to wake up my parents like I did on the weekends, knocked before no answer so I went in and both my parents layed in bed. When I touched my mom’s hand it was stone cold solid. I grabbed her phone and called 911, told them my mommy and daddy died and EMS came and took them away. I wish I could remember more details like what they said and If there was anything leading up to their death at the time but I was only a young kid at the time. There was nothing I could have really done to help them. Later I learned they died from a lethal dose of oxycodone mixed with beer. After the cops came and took me back to the station my Aunt steph and Uncle Doug picked me up and took me back to their house. I had never been there before so it was a great experience meeting a new family.
To explain this was my Mom’s brother and wife. I’ve lived with them ever since and have had a so-called normal life. Went to school, I did art and got a scholarship but have always struggled with my mental state and started seeing a therapist. She asked recently if I still had the old Tv and honestly I didn’t know. After asking my uncle to help me dig around the basement, we found it, along with my old VHS tapes from when I lived with my parents. I’m not sure what to do with the Tv because part of me has a weird attachment to it, in those hard times huddled next to the screen for warmth, watching the same stories unfold. There’s a layer of nostalgia and comfort that I have now found again. On the other hand I am terrified to ever see a pink screen on that Tv or any Tv for that matter so if anyone has any insight or advice into what I should do let me know I’m all ears.