Ok I’m pretty confused but I have insomnia as a result of today so I’m pretty sure I’m posting in the right place.
Anyone who knows about legal stuff in New England and/or Kentucky or international law about British citizens inheriting - probably inheriting at any rate - from an American citizen then please feel free to tell me what I’ve missed. Or y’know, suggestions for tourist things to do in Salem at the weekend, that’d be good too.
I got a whole lot of missed calls last month but no answerphone messages that I could follow - lots of white noise and barely audible whispers. Now I think they were from the Attorney’s office in Salem but mullered by international phone lines and the fact that my mobile never gets good signal in my house. To be fair given the amount of legalese I’ve heard I’m not sure I’d have followed what was said even if I had taken the calls.
Apparently I need to be in Salem on Saturday for a Will Reading in order to inherit. Is that an American thing? I’m pretty sure you don’t need to attend a will reading to inherit in the U.K. I know Dad had relatives in the US but I checked with my sister and my Mum and we’re sure they were in Kentucky. But Dad died a few years ago and he wasn’t on speaking terms with the Kentucky family, I don’t think it was a row, I think it was just that way that sometimes people lose touch. Much less deliberate than the cousins who went to Australia with a whole lot of money they’d taken from Great Aunty Peggy, no one wanted to speak to them. Huh, maybe this is a scam? I don’t have any money though so I don’t think it can be a good one if it is. Ok what scams involve buying a plane ticket for a random Brit to go to Salem?
The attorney’s office got through this morning, I connected the landline for the first time since lockdown and it rang almost immediately. It was quite weird because my Mum has that number and my Grandma before she died but no one bothers with landlines anymore so I wasn’t expecting the American accent. He told me he needed me to be in attendance on Saturday or they couldn’t proceed, something to do with the needs of the blood or bloodlines I guess. Kentucky isn’t KKK country or anything is it? Am I going to get to New England and suddenly get the worst kind of racist relatives in my face?
When I told them I couldn’t get to America they said they’d send me a ticket because this needs must be done before the waxing crescent is over. Which I think means there must be something about the moon phase in the will. Dad’s cousins must’ve been really weird is all I can think - maybe they knew I was into Wicca when I was a teenager so that’s why they’ve left me something. They asked if I had a lawyer here in the U.K. for them to correspond with in the event of my misfortune - I said not but that my sister was my next of kin. I don’t think that was what they wanted really because then they asked a whole lot about when she was born - even the time! They said they needed to consult the ephemeris which is some kind of legal book I’m guessing. In anycase the upshot was that I needed to get on a plane and go to Salem and provide them with a lawyer to correspond with once I got there. I’m still not sure why I need to have a lawyer. So any ideas? I’m going to go out into town tomorrow to see if any of the law offices there will let me give their names to the American guys when I get there.
Maybe I’m going to meet some long lost family too… not sure how I feel about that, bit nerve wracking really especially given that Cousin Kenny had choice things to say about everyone of the international family who didn’t come to Dad’s funeral. I think that the Aussies got “bloody g—o scam artists” and the Yanks got “deathless bloodsucking husks” - yeah I guess I don’t need to go to the US to meet racist family. I think Kenny especially hated that he had to be polite to the French cousins because they attended the funeral. He bitched about their pale makeup even so, I think he prefers fake tan - he does live in Liverpool.
Right, I need to try and sleep, I guess I’m just hoping it’s not all one big scam, I should probably look up the weird legal terms they keep using just to check. Tomorrow I need to get a lawyer and then attend upon the offices in Salem for the will reading or what in American legal speak is “the blood attending upon the compact.”