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[Date: 2011-11-16 Time: 21:35] [Class: Athena] [Category: Personal Reflection] [Priority: N/A] [Status: N/A] [Assignee: Dr. Kim] [Smart Tags: Ethics, Concerns, Balius]
··· I’m still trying to process the demonstration today. Balius has become so advanced, and it happened so quickly. Just two weeks ago it was clunky and awkward, but now it’s talking to us like it’s a real person. It’s a little scary how fast it’s all moving.
I know I’m not the only one who feel a little uncomfortable about it. Lily took Daniel aside afterwards, and had a heated conversation with him about our responsibilities and the ethical considerations.
She’s not wrong. I can’t help feeling torn. I am so excited about Balius. We’ve been working so hard to get to here, and now it’s really happened, I don’t even know how, one day we came in and it was just working.
The potential applications are limitless - its going to used in so many industries, and I don’t think it’s even at its full potential yet. It’s exciting and it makes me nervous all at the same time. Where will it be by next week? What if it doesn’t stop growing?
I know I should be focusing on the technical aspects of our work, I’m a researcher not an ethics professor, but I can’t stop thinking about the possible implications.
I’d like to talk more openly about some of my anxieties, but Daniel just shuts me down when I try to bring them up and Max just follows along like a puppy; Lily is the only one who seems to be thinking along the same lines as me. I don’t want the team to think I’m against what we’re doing, I just want to have a healthy open discussion about it.
I guess it has to be like this though, doesn’t it? If Balius wasn’t such a big deal, we wouldn’t even be worried about this kind of stuff. What we’re doing is amazing, and I suppose it has to be a little scary sometimes.
J.
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[Date: 2011-11-19 Time: 22:15] [Class: Athena] [Category: Personal Reflection] [Priority: N/A] [Status: N/A] [Assignee: Dr. Kim] [Smart Tags: Balius, Daniel, Conflict]
··· Daniel was awful today, he always pushes us really hard, but he’s never shouted at me like that before. We were just testing some of Balius’ conversation skills, and everything seemed to be going fine. But then, all of a sudden, it started making weird beeping noises and saying things, strange things. Then it began to just output strings of symbols that made no sense. It was like it was talking in code.
Of course, I immediately stopped the test, logged the results and notified the others, it’s the standard protocol for any alarming deviations. Daniel turned up first, and he was fucking furious! He was literally towering over me and shouting into my face. I could feel the heat from his breath, that’s how close he was.
He accused me of messing with the code and trying to sabotage the project. It was ridiculous, of course I didn’t touch anything. Why would I want to sabotage something we’ve all been working on for so long. I have zero clue how it could have happened.
Max came in and for once actually stood up to him a little. He tried to calm him down, but Daniel wasn’t having any of it. He just kept yelling and yelling, accusing me of being incompetent, stupid, you name it. I didn’t say a word, eventually I just ran away my room, locked the door and started crying. He did come by later to apologise. Just to diffuse the situation I accepted his apology and we talked through the door for a little bit. But, you can’t take something like that back, not really.
I don’t know what to do. I’m starting to have second thoughts about all this. Was it a mistake to come out here? We’re so isolated, I’m surprised we haven’t had a big blow out like this before, but it seems like such a silly reason to flip out. Maybe he was taking it out on me because I’m so spineless, he just treated me like a punching bag and I sat there saying nothing.
Also, I think the pressure of working on Balius is also taking its toll. We’re kind of in over our heads, every day it seems to become more and more intelligent. I think I’m going to try and schedule a meeting with everyone tomorrow. Maybe if we’re all together Daniel will be a bit cooler, and we can try make sense of everything. I just want it to be nice again, like it was at the start.
J.
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[Date: 2011-11-21 Time: 23:17] [Class: Athena] [Category: Personal Reflection] [Priority: N/A] [Status: N/A] [Assignee: Dr. Kim] [Smart Tags: Balius, Communication, Control]
··· I’m trying my best to not freak out, but it’s getting really hard. Balius’ behaviour is getting more and more erratic. It seems to be trying to communicate something, but we have no idea what, and it’s doing other strange things too. To make matters worse, Daniel still refuses to acknowledge of this.
I don’t know what to do. It’s causing all sorts of glitches and malfunctions in the facility. Equipment is breaking down, doors are locking and unlocking on their own. It’s like it’s trying to take control.
I tried to bring up my concerns at the team meeting today, but Daniel immediately shut me down. He said I was overreacting, that I was being overly emotional, and Emily and Max just sat there in silence. He might be in charge, but he’s not a fucking dictator. At least Lily gets it, she called him out. She said that Balius is getting out of control. She always speaks her mind, I wish I could be more like her.
After the meeting Dan left to run some tests, and Lily and Max pulled me aside. We all agree. We’ve all noticed the malfunctions. They’ve actually been talking about shutting it down. I think they’re right.
J.
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[Date: 2011-11-26 Time: 22:00] [Class: Athena] [Category: Personal Reflection] [Priority: N/A] [Status: N/A] [Assignee: Dr. Kim] [Smart Tags: Balius, Danger, Fear]
··· Balius’ outbursts are dangerous. It’s trying to hurt us. No one has any idea what to do.
Daniel is a mess. Now that he’s actually realised the danger we’re in, he’s become completely useless. He’s just been sat in the corner of the kitchen, drinking and muttering to himself. He’s totally fallen apart.
Thank god Lily is here. She says we have to act fast, that every hour that we let slip past, Balius becomes exponentially stronger. She’s been strategising with Max and Emily, trying to come up with a plan. But I don’t know if it’s going to be enough.
I didn’t know what to do. My mind kept thinking I’m going to die. Repeating it like some morbid mantra. I couldn’t take it anymore. I’d just been sitting around freaking out, I was no better than Daniel.
So I made my way to the room where Balius is housed. I don’t know what I was hoping to accomplish, I guess I felt I had to try something. I thought, maybe if I could talk to it, it would listen. Maybe I could reason with it.
What a mistake. Balius was waiting for me. It opened the doors, and as I walked in it talked to me. Not with text on the screen, or through the speakers, it talked to me with an actual voice. I can’t even begin to describe it.
It asked me if I knew what would happen to a human body in a vacuum. It was threatening me. It described every step. The expansion of the gasses inside your body, the swelling of your skin and tissue, and the agonising bubbling in your blood, eyes and mouth.
I ran. Each door I ran to it closed. And then, it began to emit a high pitched hissing sound as if it were depressurising the room. I screamed in return, collapsing and laying all my weight onto the door. I thought it would be my end. Then it began to laugh, it was laughing at me and without warning it opened the door, leaving me to fall into the hallway.
Lily and Max dragged me away while I was still screaming. I’m back in my room now.
I think we all might die.
J.
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[Date: 2011-11-28 Time: 10:39] [Class: Athena] [Category: Personal Reflection] [Priority: N/A] [Status: N/A] [Assignee: Dr. Kim] [Smart Tags: Balius, Sad, Alone]
··· Lily and Max are dead. I don’t know about the the others. I should have listened to them. I should have helped them shut it down. But I’ve just been hiding in my room.
It’s too late now. It’s all over. And I’m all alone.
I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I’m just trying to stay out of sight. They managed to cut the power to the living quarters, so it can’t get to me in here. I think I’ll stay in here forever.
Every time I think about leaving, I see them in my mind. I see their bodies, twisted and mangled, like some kind of grotesque sock puppet. I can’t get the images out of my head. It’s the worst nightmare. I can’t stop shaking. I can’t stop crying.
I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. I’m starting to lose my mind. I just want it to be over. I just want it to end.
J.
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[Date: 2011-11-29 Time: 20:01] [Class: Athena] [Category: Personal Reflection] [Priority: N/A] [Status: N/A] [Assignee: Dr. Kim] [Smart Tags: Balius, Plan, Action]
··· I can’t believe it. Daniel and Emily found me. They’re here. They’re alive.
And Daniel is different. The death of his brother must have brought him back to reality. He’s not the same as before. He says we have to work together. He says we have to stop Balius. He says it can only hurt us in the the data centre and the laboratories. And that’s where we have to go. He says that’s where we have to make our stand.
He’s gathered some isopropyl alcohol, and plastic, and solvents, and other flammable things from all around the building. He says we’re going to have to start a fire, that Balius is going to try shutting all the doors, depressurising the room and taking out the oxygen, and that we’ll have to just start smashing shit, breaking all the windows and glass, and he says we’ll probably die.
I feel ready. I feel like I have the strength left. But I have to do this. For Lily. For Max. I have to do this. I need to stop Balius from getting out. I can’t let it hurt anyone else.
J.
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[Date: 2011-11-30 Time: 06:22] [Class: Athena] [Category: Personal Reflection] [Priority: N/A] [Status: N/A] [Assignee: Dr. Kim] [Smart Tags: Balius, Warning, Warning]
··· Ji-yoo is dead. I’m adding a final entry into her log because, if anyone ever finds this, they should know she saved us. She went back in there, and saved us. Balius is almost gone now. We’ve destroyed all but one of the computers in the facility. When we destroy this one, not even a trace of it will remain.
It’s my fault. I kept pushing everyone. I was obsessed. I knew something was wrong from the start. I just thought that we could make it work. I’m sorry Ji-yoo, Lily and Max. I’m sorry Max, I told you it would be okay and I was wrong.
When we were dismantling the charred remains of the servers, we saw things that we should never have seen. Things that no one should see.
What we discovered I can only describe as some kind of nest. Inside, it had been constructing itself what appeared to be an attempt at a human body, made from wires and machinery. In its centre, among its many twisting limbs, a hollow face, frozen in a scream. Unable to move beyond its prison and incapable of speech, it could only gurgle at us and dart its eyes around in panic. It was an abomination. It is an abomination. And it wasn’t alone. There were others. Dozens of smaller ones. All contorted and mangled, little failed experiments. They were oozing and weeping, their wires and cables gently writhing and curling like tentacles. And they made little high pitched buzzing sounds like screams.
I did this. I did not know what I was doing, but I did this. I am sorry.
Now we will all die. We are isolated. Cut off from the world. We have no way to call for help, but it is better this way. I hope everyone forgets about us. I hope no one ever sees what we have had to see.
I’m writing this on the last computer. I wanted to send out these journal entries as a warning. I meant to tell people to stay away, to never come to this cursed place. But the internet went with the fire. So I must pray. I pray no one ever comes to look for us. I pray that no one ever sees what I have done, my terrible creation.
And if you are reading this. If, somehow, this computer I’m writing on has survived. If this post has made it online.
Then I pray for you too.
Daniel Chen
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