Part 1
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1btz9xc/dont_look/
Part 2
It’s been four days since my first post, and yesterday I finally worked up the courage to return to the house. I’m not ashamed to admit that I had to take 3 shots from a bottle of whiskey my grandfather had left behind to do so, not enough to get me drunk or lose my wits, but just enough to help with the fear.
I stood outside, staring at the house, and trying to will myself to go in, but the intense feeling of almost supernatural dread, combined with all the memories flooding back, locked me in place, all the good before that night, and terrors of the nights that followed.
I eventually decided I couldn’t go back in, and turned to leave, noticing a man standing several yards away with tears in his eyes, also staring at the house.
He must be a few years older than me, a naturally handsome and tall man, with short blonde hair and stubble covering his face, though he looked a bit thin and ragged, with dark bags under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept or eaten in days.
I froze, and stared at him for a time, feeling an intense sense of familiarity, even though I know I’ve never met him before. I thought it might just be my PTSD driven delusions, and my current environment stirring up false assumptions, but I swear he reminded me of the shadow boy, like the grown up version I imagined of him when we were kids and thinking about what he’d be like when we got married one day. Except this man appeared greatly sadder than the happy husband I had imagined.
After a minute or two of staring at the house, he noticed me from the corner of his eye, and turned to face me, immediately beginning to panic as he wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand and turned to leave.
“Hey, wait!” I called out as I started following after him.
His pace quickened as he crossed the street.
“Wait! Do you know me?” I asked as I followed him across the street, a driver on the road having to stomp on their brakes to avoid hitting me, and blaring their horn in frustration.
I continued on, determined not to lose him.
He bothered one look back, and then his pace increased so much that I was sure he was about to break into a sprint.
“Do you know about the shadows!?” I screamed in desperation.
He froze in place, coming to a dead stop, and slowly turned back to face me with a horrified look on his face.
I finished catching up to him, maintaining a reasonable space of a few feet’s distance as I caught my breath and clutched my hand to my chest.
“How do you know?” He asked in abject terror, his green-hazel eyes wet with tears.
“I just want answers to what happened to me and my family,” I responded. “Please, if you know anything, just tell me. I get the feeling we might have more in common than either of us knows.”
He thought for a minute, his eyes beginning to wander, and I couldn’t help but think he sometimes saw things that weren’t really there. “Let’s grab coffee and talk,” He finally decided. “Away from here,” He added after several seconds, daring a look back at the house.
I agreed.
As we walked, him hurrying away in the opposite direction of the house, and my much shorter legs struggling to keep up with his pace, I observed his body language. He was in constant survival mode, and you could tell. His shoulders were raised and tense. His hands were stuffed into the belly pockets of his baggy gray hoody. And he constantly seemed to mumble or whisper to himself inaudibly.
We ended up walking for what I would guess was about 2 or 3 miles before I noticed we were passing by a small coffee shop, and called out to him.
He had clearly been so lost in his own mind that he was hurrying right past it without realizing, desperate to create distance between himself and the house. Though, to his credit, when I called out to him and pointed out the coffee shop, he immediately acknowledged me, snapped back into the moment, and gentlemanly held the door open for me, before following me inside.
I ordered my typical drink, an iced caramel frappe, and he ordered the strongest black coffee they had. After getting our respective drinks and setting down, he grew lost in his mind again for a few minutes, the sadness and moisture in his eyes never receding as he stared off nervously and rapidly moved his lips in small and hard to comprehend motions, though no sound ever escaped him. I decided to give him his space, and let him take his time, feeling incredible compassion for him, even if I didn’t fully understand why.
It turned out we were more similar than I could have ever imagined.
The shadows had come for him too, when he was a young teen. Though, in a different house, and a different city. I don’t intend to reveal his personal details and information, however.
When they had, they took his little brother.
He explained to me that his brother, although a few years younger, had a much more adventurous and curious spirit than him. So, when they came, he grew scared, averted his eyes, and hid, while his brother looked, vanishing, his clothes falling to the ground just as they had to my family.
Since then, he has struggled with intense survivor’s guilt his entire life, and never moved on, always blaming himself for having not saved his little brother. Same as me, no one believed him about what had really happened. Different from me, however, due to his parents’ reliance on sleeping pills, they hadn’t woken up through the night when the shadows came for them, so they had not been taken like mine had.
After his brother’s disappearance, his parents ended up selling their home and moving out of state to my city (which I will also keep private to avoid anyone attempting to find the house).
Months after the incident, he’d began seeing his little brother as a shadow coming to visit him, but no others arrived with him like they had that night. At first, this terrified him, and drove him mad. But over time, he began to believe that it really was his brother, and that he wasn’t there to take him like the others had been.
They would begin talking in the dark at night, as he had horrible sleep issues ever since the event. His little brother would tell him about a friend he made, and ask him to follow him to my house to meet her. At first, he would refuse, scared that it could be a trick. But eventually, he gave in, following his brother to my home at night and watching as he phased through the door to go inside, his little brother apparently excitedly laughing the whole way there. He came to the conclusion that these were grief hallucinations he was having after his little brother went inside, and left, never coming to the door.
The last time he saw his little brother’s shadow, he came to him crying, saying that it happened again to his friend’s family, that it was all his fault for leading them there. He said that it was dangerous to be around him, and that he must stay alone in the dark forever to protect people.
After that, he’d begin to miss his brother, and wish he had interacted with him more while he was still around, even as a shadow. He often finds himself wandering back to my house, but he can never bring himself to knock on the door or try and go inside, even though sometimes, at night, he could swear he’d hear his little brother’s crying coming from within.
During our conversation, where I also shared my experience with him, I debated on telling him about the shadow boy, or whether I should leave him out to protect this grief stricken man, ultimately deciding he deserved to know the full truth. And I was glad I did, learning that his brother had also recently begun playing with an imaginary friend at night, before all of this had happened to the both us. He would come out at night and see or hear him, and just laugh it off as his brother’s powerful imagination, leaving him be to play.
Sharing every detail with him, we both eventually came to the conclusion that the little boy in the shadows was indeed his brother, and that I was the friend he would come to visit.
It took a lot of debate, and much fear and reservation on both our ends, but we ultimately decided to go back into the house together, to look for his brother, and the answers we both seek in two days from now.
I debated on whether or not to continue updating anyone who read my story, or if it was better kept to myself, but I ultimately decided that I would see this through to the end, and share any answers I find with anyone that is willing to listen.
You’ll hear more from me in a few days, so long as the worst doesn’t happen.
Part 3
2 days later…
We returned to the house yesterday at 11 a.m. to prepare for what ended up being the second most terrifying night of my life thus far.
Supplies List -
⦁ 12 remote controlled LED lanterns
⦁ 2 LED headlamps
⦁ 2 Backup compact flashlights with wrist straps to avoid dropping them in a panic
⦁ 2 Pairs of safety goggles that we painted black over the lenses
⦁ 20 black out curtains
Upon unlocking the front door, both I and we’ll call him Jacob for the sake of this post, stood just outside the doorway for several minutes, adverting our gazes, questioning every decision we’ve made in life thus far. I half expected to vanish the second I opened the door, my clothes dropping in a pile, as the shadow’s would already be waiting for us on the other side.
A sense of eerie dread washed over me, and I couldn’t tell if it was just my own fear, or some supernatural darkness that still lingered there. Even though the house was completely well lit by the sunlight of day, it took us both turning on our headlamps and fully illuminating the area just to begin to feel comfortable stepping inside.
I had made triple sure that the power bills for the house had been paid and even paid a handyman the day before to go inside and replace every light bulb and check that every light in the house was in working order.
We immediately got to work as the first thing we did by moving together and turning on every light in the house, to make sure it was as illuminated as possible. We noticed a few pairs of clothing as we moved, assuming that people had been squatting in the house, and that we needed to be on the lookout for intruders, but after discussing it some, we came to the unfortunate conclusion that whoever had stayed the night there over these past years, had been taken as well.
Next, we went about placing the LED lanterns in strategic spots around the house to make sure our positions would have emergency lighting for if and when the power went out. We had managed to program them to one remote so that we should be able to activate them all at once in case of an emergency. But that was what was so tricky about our mission, is that if we intended to find answers, we couldn’t fully illuminate the house tonight, or else the shadows either wouldn’t appear, or would vanish before any information had been gleamed.
Our hopeful goal was to find Jacob’s brother, let’s call him Nathan, and then rid ourselves of any other shadows, if possible, to only communicate with him, as we knew he would not take us.
After the lights were set up, and tested to success, we began hanging up the black out curtains in such a manner so that if and when we had to run, we could use them as sight barriers on the way out, to cut off the shadows from our gaze.
The black painted goggles were sort of a last resort, to cover our eyes, and move blindly if we were surrounded and had no other choice.
Once everything was fully set up, and quadruple checked for battery life and functionality, we waited. We decided to post up in the hallway where Nathan and I would play at night, as we figured it would be the most likely place for him to appear, if he showed himself at all.
It was equal parts heartbreaking and terrifying being back there, hundreds of good memories playing out before my eyes as we worked around the house, all sullied by one week of horror. I could feel my family’s absence palpably, and Nathan’s for that matter. I could hear Chris’ laugh. Lilly’s constant chatter. My father’s corny old jokes. Smell my mother’s Sunday morning chocolate chip pancakes, and hear her hum a tune as she made them. And I could hear Nathan’s giggle as I found his little shadow body hiding in the closet during a game of hide and seek. I missed them all terribly.
Jacob and I, however, barely communicated while we waited, due to our fear and grief, both lost in our own memories.
At around 4 p.m., we decided to eat the sandwiches we bought from the store for dinner, not wanting to be distracted by literally anything once it was getting too close to dark.
Then we really had nothing left to do but wait until it all began, each of us sitting with our back to one side of the hallway, facing each other with our headlamps on and pointed to the wall next to each other, to avoid blinding one another, but making sure we were covered for when it started.
As night came, the sunlight fading away completely, the true terror took hold of us as we knew it could happen at any moment.
Hours passed, and as the night grew late, I almost started to believe that nothing was going to happen, that the shadows were long gone and not here anymore, or perhaps even that it really was just all in mine and Jacob’s heads, and we were suffering from some level of psychosis that was now being fed from each other’s individually broken minds.
Right before midnight, the power went out, all the lights in the house, besides our headlamps, shutting off in an instant. Both of us jumped, my heart feeling like it burst, and I could tell Jacob felt the same, as he brought a hand to his chest and began to hyperventilate, his eyes going wide.
I quickly pulled up my back up flashlight and turned it on for extra protection. “Turn on your other light,” I instructed Jacob. “It’s okay, stay calm.” Those words were more for my sake than his, but I could tell they helped snap his scared mind back into the moment.
He nodded rapidly, illuminating the beam of his back up light, and beginning to calm himself with deep breaths.
Then, we waited. We had discussed beforehand just what exactly to do once it began, but we couldn’t come up with anything more than this. Survival is our first priority, protect your gaze at all times and bail immediately if things get too overwhelming. Second, wait for Nathan, and attempt to get him to talk with us. Third, if the others come, and Nathan doesn’t show up within minutes, we get the hell out. Anything more than that, was just too up in the air.
For several long minutes, nothing happened, and again I began to wonder if nothing would, but at this point, I knew better.
Suddenly, a little boy’s voice called out to my right, down the hall towards my parent’s bedroom, in the opposite direction of the kitchen and living room. “Go-“ He started, our heads both spinning in his direction on a swivel, cutting off his words as our headlamps illuminated the area he had just been standing.
We both immediately realized, moving the beams of our headlamps down to the ground to uncover him again, while also covering our eyes to be careful of tricks awaiting us from the other shadows.
“Nathan!” Jacob couldn’t help but call out.
Nathan froze for a second, cocking his head in an apparent moment of realization upon hearing his name and seeing the now grown adult version of his brother. “Go! Leave now! You can’t be here!” Nathan yelled back in a rapid panic, his voice filled with fear and sounding like he’d been crying. It was clear that he hadn’t aged since either of us had last seen him.
“Nathan, we’re hear to help you! We want to know what exactly has happened to you, to help bring you back,” Jacob replied.
“Nathan, we need answers. Did the same thing that happened to you, happen to my family? Are they still here, too?” I asked, my other motivations voicing themselves beyond my control.
“No! I’ll never talk to you again! I’ll never answer you! I won’t get anyone else taken! I have to be alone in the dark forever! Leave now! Never come back! You can’t help me! You can’t help them!” He sounded in the midst of a panicked tantrum, even stamping one of his feet, desperately trying to get out information, but also in a hurry to get us to leave.
Just then, it really started. Coming from the direction of the living room, just as it had before, incoherent whispering of dozens of voices began to sound out.
I couldn’t help but partially turn in that direction as a chill ran up my spine.
“Don’t Look!” Nathan yelled, turning and running away from us in the direction of my parent’s bedroom, probably to hide, as he loved to do, in an attempt to protect us and get us to leave.
“Nathan!” Jacob ran after him, not willing to lose his little brother again.
I stepped in their direction, intending to follow after them, but then something froze me in place.
Amongst the incoherent whispering, unlike before, I could hear multiple voices sounding out that were coherent. Familiar voices.
I couldn’t control my own body, either from my mind’s overpowering desire, some supernatural force pulling me, or both. I turned, slowly stepping down the hall in the direction of the kitchen.
As I exited the hall, keeping my eyes trained to the ground at my pointed beams of light, I listened.
“Don’t look at the shadows.”
“Don’t look at the shadows.”
“Don’t look at the shadows.”
“Don’t look at the shadows.”
The four voices sounded in whispered unison, and then repeated in a continual loop.
Tears filled my eyes as I stood frozen.
“Anna!” (The name I’ll be using for myself within this post) Jacob screamed from behind me. “Anna! Hit the lights! Hit the Lights!”
My hand slowly moved towards the remote to the LED lanterns in my pocket, feeling as though the joints of my arm were trapped in ice, the cold in my heart spreading throughout my entire body.
“Anna! Help! Help me! I’m surrounded! Hit the lights!”
My hand warmed and moved, reaching into my pocket, pulling out the remote, and hitting the power button in one swift stream of movement.
The LED lanterns all illuminated at once, burning away most of the darkness in the house, but not all…
“Don’t look at the shadows.”
“Don’t look at the shadows.”
“Don’t look at the shadows.”
“Don’t look at the shadows.”
My head very slowly began to turn in the direction of the whispering. “Mom… Dad… Chris… Lilly…” I choked out. “Guys? Is that you?” Trapped back in my daze, my eyeline continued to rise, having to know the truth, and no longer lucid enough to fear the consequences.
Just as I was about to bring my eyeline high enough to look upon them, a hand covered my eyes from behind, causing me to jump and snapping me out of it.
“Don’t look. Put your goggles on, now,” Jacob instructed, assumingly already having done the same.
“My family…” I croaked out, keeping my eyes closed as he moved his hand, and I put the blacked out goggles on to cover them.
“I know. I know. We’re getting out of here. It’s too dangerous.”
“Nathan?” I asked.
“He’s gone.” Jacob took my hand and began leading me back to the front door, feeling the black out curtains we had hung up passing over me as we moved.
“I’m sorry,” I cried, knowing I had failed him by hesitating to hit the lights and almost looking.
“It’s okay,” He said with sincerity, his voice and demeanor calmer than at any other point since I had met him.
He led me out of the house, and we both instinctually ran, pulling off our goggles, our beams of light bouncing around the neighborhood outside as we moved. Looking back on it now, we probably looked like crazy people to anyone that may have been watching, but we didn’t care, we just wanted away from the house.
We ran back to Jacob’s apartment as fast as we could, hand in hand the entire run, neither of us ever looking back once.
Once inside, we both plopped down onto his couch in exhausted, huffing, heaps. It took several minutes for us to catch our breaths, and several hours until the sun rose, adding more light and safety to his already fully lit apartment. That’s what it took for us to finally snap back out of our dazed fear, turning off our flashlights, and looking at each other once again.
“You should stay here today, get some rest,” Jacob was the first to break the silence.
I simply nodded in reply.
“You can shower, help yourself to any food in the fridge, and take my bed if you need to get some sleep. I’ll take a nap on the couch.”
“Okay,” I replied.
“I’ve been thinking, while we sat here these past few hours…” He continued after a few minutes of quiet contemplation.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“I’m going back tonight. I have to. I can’t leave him behind again. I have to find a way to save him, no matter what the risks.”
“I know,” I replied. I was filled with intense terror, but I knew that I had to go back too. “I’m going back with you.”
“But,” Jacob started, not wishing to hurt my feelings, but knowing he had to say it. “What happened last night…”
“I know, and I’m sorry. But it won’t happen again.” I knew I meant it with a steely determination. “My family is there too, trapped just like Nathan, and now that I know it, I can’t let this go. If Nathan can talk to us, doesn’t have to take us like the others, there must be some way we can talk to them too. You heard them, last night. They were warning us not to look, just like how Nathan does. I have to believe there’s a way to bring them all back, or at least set them free. I won’t leave them like that forever, any of them, not Nathan either. We’re going back, together.”
Jacob thought in silence for a short while, and I waited for his reply. “Alright, then. Let’s do it. Together.” He nodded with equal determination, both of us seeming to be conquering our fears now that we knew just exactly what it was we were facing, even if a rational person might feel the opposite.
I shot out and hugged him, squeezing him tightly and burying my face into his chest. “Thank you,” I said.
He froze in surprise. “For what?” He asked.
“For saving my life. For being with me through this. I’ve been alone for so long in it all, and I know you were too.”
He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me back. “Not anymore. We’re in this together now, until the end.”
I released him and pulled back to look him in the eyes. “‘Til the end.”
“Let’s rest up then,” He said. “Tonight, we finish this.”
We’re going to sleep now, but I had to type my experience and thoughts out before my mind would stop racing about what happened last night, and about what’s to come tonight, and let me rest. I figured I would share this with anyone still listening while I have the chance. I will post again tomorrow to let you know how this all ends. Thank you for anyone that has read my story, I appreciate you all. It sucks to be alone in the dark for so long. But now, I have hope that I will never have to be again.
Part 4, Finale
Hey everyone, this is “Jacob”…
Last night didn’t go as planned, but “Anna” showed me her posts on here, and asked me to update everyone if something were to happen to her. So that there was at least some thorough record of what has happened to us, leaving her account logged on at my apartment, and writing down her login info for me just in case.
We returned to the house a bit before dark, resetting the LED lanterns, and plugging them in to charge as much as they could before the power went out.
We also charged our headlamps and flashlights back at my apartment before heading back over.
Everything is such a blur to me now, especially with what came after, and my current predicament as I type this, so please forgive me if it’s not as fluid of an account as perhaps she would have been able to write.
I can hear the sirens even now, growing closer.
They began surrounding us almost immediately after the power went out, having seemed to learn from their past encounters with us, even finding ways to cast their shadows over the beams of flashlights and the radiating lights of the lanterns, almost sacrificing themselves so that the others could get to us.
I quickly realized that my attempts to save my brother’s life were not worth losing Anna as the situation grew extremely dire almost immediately.
I screamed at her to leave, but she stood frozen, being drawn in by them, almost confused, like she wasn’t herself. I know I’ve only known her for a few days, but they say shared trauma bonds quickly, healthy or not.
Her family came again. “Don’t look at the shadows,” They all whispered in unison, louder than the incoherent whispering of the others, so that we could make out their voices. I think that’s what got to her the most. She didn’t want to leave without them, and while I was focused on getting her out safely now, she was trapped in a daze of grief.
Nathan came too. “I told you,” He said. “You can’t save us! You have to go!”
“Anna! We have to leave!” I screamed, but she wouldn’t follow me.
With tears streaming down her face, she turned her now reckless gaze back and up to face me. “I’m sorry, Jacob,” She said. “I just want to be with them. I can’t leave, even if it means this is my fate. At least we’ll be together again.”
“Anna! Put your eyes down! Close your eyes!” I stormed towards her. I would grab her arm and drag her out, force her to leave if it meant saving her life.
“I’m sorry,” She said, and then her watery eyes looked past me, at something behind me, and she was gone.
“No!” I screamed as her clothes dropped into a heap before me.
I stared at them in shocked silence for several seconds, until Nathan snapped me back out of it.
“Jacob, go! You have to move!”
I turned and ran to leave, but I could hear from the congregation of whispering that they were gathering before the front door, blocking my way out, and I dared not force my way forward, not knowing what the consequences would be of passing through them. Maybe just that alone would be enough to take me. Or they could somehow get behind my eyelids, or something, I don’t know…
I ran into a bathroom, and then into the water closet within it that only contained a toilet and a shower, closing the door behind me. My headlamp and hand flashlight were enough to fully light the small space and keep me safe for now.
Falling back against the wall, I slid to the ground and began to weep.
“They’re all gone, now,” I cried to myself. “Everyone else who knows is gone. I’m all alone.”
“Jacob?” Anna’s voice asked in a whisper from the other side of the door.
“Anna?” I jumped to my feet in relief, rubbing the tears from my eyes, sniffling, and reaching to open the door. My eyes must have deceived me, or the shadows tricked me, she wasn’t really gone, I had to open the door and let her in.
“Don’t open the door,” She warned just in time, seeming to almost read my thoughts.
“Are you really still there?” I asked.
“No, not really,” She responded. “I’m one of them now. If you open the door, they’ll get inside.”
I could hear the incoherent whispering gathering around outside the door too, but she was able to speak louder than them.
“Nathan was right, Jacob,” She continued. “You can’t help us. We don’t exist in your world anymore. There’s no reversing this, no going back.”
“I tried to tell you,” Nathan added. “You can’t save us.”
“How do you know that, Anna?” I asked. “You’ve only been gone for a few minutes.”
“Time passes differently here,” Anna responded.
“It’s all at once,” Nathan added.
“Why are you all stuck here?” I asked.
“It’s my fault,” Nathan said with great sadness. “I stayed too long, playing with Anna. I cast my shadow all over this place. They were drawn to it, drawn by consistent shadow. And then, once they congregated here, it created a nest.”
“It’s not your fault, Nathan,” Anna reassured him.
“A nest?” I asked.
“Yes,” Anna responded. “They can’t hurt anyone, all alone, spread out. They’re just a shadow out of the corner of your eye, nothing to fear. But all gathered together like this, congregating in a nest of darkness, people’s gaze can’t ignore it or look away, they are drawn to it, and then they are taken to help the nest grow. And once you’re linked to the hive mind of the nest, you can’t just leave.”
“What am I supposed to do now?” I asked, knowing there was nothing left for me in this world. I considered letting them take me, joining my brother and Anna, but knowing I never would, that I could never let those things that ruined our lives win.
“You must stop it,” Anna replied.
“You’re the only one who can now,” Nathan added. “The only one left in the light that knows.”
“You just said that I can’t reverse it, that I can’t help any of you,” I pointed out in confusion.
“You can’t,” Anna explained “But you can destroy the nest, scatter them all to the wind, where they have no power, where they won’t be able to take anyone else.”
“How?” I asked.
“Burn it,” Another voice chimed in, a teenage boy, Anna’s brother. “Burn the house down.”
“Set us free,” The voice of a teenage girl, her sister.
“What will happen to all of you?” I asked. “You’ll all be alone? Don’t you want to be together, even if it is in the dark?”
“We’ll find each other,” Anna said happily. “We’ll stick together, keep moving, make sure a nest never builds, that the outsiders don’t try to join us. They can be alone in the dark, attempting to selfishly take people to feed their own rage at being all alone, and failing, but we’ll be together.”
“What about Nathan?” I asked, my eyes welling with tears.
“He’s a part of our family,” Anna answered simply. “He has been for a very long time. He just didn’t know it. We’ll look after him, always. He’ll never have to be alone again. None of us will.”
“I’ll be okay, Jacob,” Nathan chimed in. “But you have to live in the light, for us. We don’t get to, but it’ll be okay, because we’re together. As long as you’re in the light though, that will keep us warm enough.”
I broke down, weeping loudly.
“It’ll all be okay, sweet boy,” A motherly voice said to me, Anna’s mother. “Everything will be okay now.”
I sniffed, rubbing the back of my hand across my nose and my eyes, wiping the tears from my face as I stood, finding a new resolve. “Okay, I’ll do it. I’ll burn it down.”
“Thank you, son,” An older and deeper male voice said, Anna’s father.
I spent the night locked in that room, talking with Nathan and the other new members of our extended family, all of us finding comfort in each other, and saying our goodbyes, as I knew I’d probably never see any of them again.
They planned out where they would meet after they were freed from the nest that was this house, (though I won’t share that location here to make sure nobody attempts to go see their shadow forms), knowing that the others could hear them, and that they’d have to move again immediately upon reconnecting, but that they’d do so together, as a family.
Once the light of day had fully shone itself, I made my way out of the house and back to my apartment. I took care of some personal matters, left some messages for my parents, and then headed out once again.
I walked to a gas station and got two big 5 gallon jerry cans and filled them with diesel fuel, nearly cleaning out my meager bank account.
When night came around, I went back to the house, never taking my eyes off the floor with my headlamp illuminating their gaze, and covered near every square inch of the house with trails of gasoline.
As I did so, I could hear voices breaking out of the usually incoherent cacophony.
“No,” One whispered.
“Don’t do this,” Another added. “Please.”
“We don’t want to be all alone again,” Another begged my compassion.
This caused me to freeze for a moment, until another voice sounded out behind me.
“You’re doing the right thing, son,” A strong male voice said, surely the voice of Anna’s father. “Keep going.” I could almost feel his reassuring grip upon my shoulder as I imagined that’s what he would have done while saying the words if he could have.
I made my way outside and drenched the front door and front walls of the house before throwing the cans and what remained of the fuel inside to add a little explosion to the fire, to help make sure it thoroughly burnt down everything.
“Hey! What are you doing!?” A homeless man called out from across the street.
I turned to face him, looking him in the eyes, and then I turned back, lighting up a pack of matches with my lighter, and then flinging it inside.
The floor and gaseous air above it erupted into flames, trails of fire quickly spreading throughout the house.
“Call the cops! Someone call the cops! This guy is burning this house down!” The man screamed, and I don’t blame him.
I then walked to the outside walls, igniting one side with my lighter, then the other, then the front door, making sure the house would completely burn before anything could be done to put it out.
I moved to the front doors of both neighboring houses after, as Anna’s childhood home burst into flames, hearing the eruptions of the jerry cans exploding within. “Fire! Fire! Get out of the house!” I screamed, banging on each neighbor’s door until they answered, making sure neither family would be hurt or trapped inside when the fire almost surely and inevitably spread to their homes as well, though I hoped, by some miracle, it would not.
People began streaming out of their homes, calling 911, and watching as Anna’s home burned in a crazed inferno.
I paused before the house for a few moments, not daring to look inside, but watching as it burned. The heat of the fire greatly warmed my face as soot and ash began falling all around to cover me, the thick black smoke forcing me to cough.
“Thank you,” I heard Anna’s voice call out to me for the last time, and I nodded in heartbroken peace.
“I love you, big brother,” Nathan whispered.
“I love you, too,” I whispered back, hoping somehow he could hear me over all the noise, and I chose to believe that he could.
The man who saw me burning down the house was moving around telling people it was me, and before a mob could form to take me into custody, I took off running back in the direction of my apartment.
I’m sitting there now, writing this out to you all as the police sirens and flashing lights surround my building. I know I was followed home and seen by many witnesses, there will be no getting out of the consequences of this for me.
I don’t intend to tell them the truth of what happened or my reasoning behind what I did, out of fear of being locked away indefinitely in a mental institution.
In fact, I don’t intend to tell them anything at all.
I plan to accept whatever the consequences are and do my time in prison.
I need to post this now before they make their way up to my apartment and start banging on the door. I’m running out of time, and I need to make sure this gets out, for Anna.
Thank you to anyone that listened to our story and believed us. I know it meant a lot to Anna, and it means a lot to me.
Maybe I’ll come back and update you guys a few years from now after I get out of prison.
Until then, live a good life, and remember, Don’t Look.