The events that I’m about to tell took place on last year’s Halloween. I never have talked about it before because I’m not one of those people who enjoys dwelling on their own misery and writing it off just doesn’t work for me. That being said, I’m somewhat divided. For the most part, I’m actually looking forward to this year’s celebration and I’m feeling a little guilty because I would like to hear what I’m about to say from someone else. I mean, I guess I wouldn’t have believed but even still… It’s Halloween and Halloween does have its way to suspend our disbelief so I would like to give myself some credit here. Maybe, just maybe, I would’ve had second thoughts on my brilliant idea to dress up as myself at this fucking party.
So, I’ll not provide any personal information about myself for obvious reasons. But I’ll say that I’m a very average American boy in the late years from my graduation and as much as I never considered myself model material, I was in check with the gym and never have had any problems finding myself good company. Actually, I’m very happy to not stand out that much right now because most people will pass over me without giving me a second look and it’s a huge blessing. In fact, we could have met each other at Walmart and you’ll never be aware of my existence.
I would also mention that I was raised in a very traditional, catholic household which is why I used to not enjoy halloween that much in the first place and always feel embarrassed dressing up. I know. This is very sexist of me and although I’ve outgrown a lot of old bias, I’ve had a hard time on that one. I used to feel like dressing up was such a girly thing to do and I ended up being embarrassed to wear any costume or make up, which is why I always dress up as myself to any party where a costume was mandatory. Yes, I know that there is nothing clever about it and that it’s not really a costume but I used to just dumb it out. I’m a guy and I’m somewhat used to people having me that look for fifteen minutes or so before they move on and go back to their own business so I walked away with it for years and never occurred to me that this could’ve been a real problem, until it was.
So, I used to love to hang out with my friends and mostly of all, I just couldn’t say no to a good booze so I actually enjoyed attending halloween parties and always show up - dressed as myself - to any occasion where I manage to be invited. At that time, I was dating this hot babe from uni that I will call J_ because like I said I’ll not hand over any information that might lead to my real identity. She was really sweet and super hot so it’s not a surprise that everyone just loved her, which is why she always gets an invitation to the best parties around the campus.
So when she called to invite me to last year’s Halloween party I was up to the game and just wore my regular costume, which is, no costume, as usual. She texted me the address and we arranged to meet at the party. I was somewhat relieved by that because that way I could’ve just spared myself against any costume intervention that she might’ve attempted and just denied giving her any pic of me by the pretext that I want to surprise her with my cleverness. Well, saying that she didn’t like my outfit would be a massive understatement. She obviously put a lot of work on her angel’s attire, did her make up and her hair to match her costume and I could tell even it not being my thing that she puts a lot of hard work on her look while I basically pick my favourite t-shirt and a comfortable pair of jeans and called it a day, so I was underdressed. A lota.
But even so, I didn’t expect her to feel so offended by what she describes as a “complete lack of etiquette” and for me embarrassing her in front of everyone like that, while the other couples coordinate their costumes and follow the only rule that the host imposed. In fact, she was so angry that I ended up stepping out of my apologetical route of choice and decided to defend myself. So, I stand for the fact that it was a clever idea and we got into an argument. I mean, it was just an excuse at first but I already have had a couple of beers and I was unwilling to let it go so instead of apologizing and moving on, I kept my instance more than I should have and then it was too late to cut it loose.
However, she was smarter than that and saw right through my lies which made me make up more facts, which was not a good idea at all. I told her that I was, in fact, looking forward to the costume contest because I believed that I had a serious chance to win. She laughed at me and I felt very humiliated. At this point I should have called it a day and gone straight to my home, but I didn’t. I’m not sure if it was my urge to make my date believe in my honesty or if I was just upset, but I joined the row and waited for my turn in front of all of those strangers clearly invested in presenting the best outfit that they’re capable of.
There’s this guy right in front of me. He was wearing a red carnival mask, decorated with a delicate brocade that matches all the voluminous ruffle layers of black fabric wrapped around his neck. He was matching it with some sort of principesque structured jacket, ornate with golden button locks and chains and a velvet cap attached to his shoulder. Everything in him was very fancy and legit, which was odd because it didn’t look like a costume at all.
Then, there was this little girl wearing one of those handmade translucent skirts and a beautiful pair of butterfly wings wrapped around her shoulders. There were these tiny white flowers on her beautiful chocolate braids and she was carrying a handmade fairy wand that she kept waving from one side to the other, making the colorful ribbons knotted over the glittered star on the tip of the prop fly. She even had some velvet bags attached to her golden belt filled with a bright powder that she blew on the jury and some flower petals scattered around which was very cute.
Finally, there is the party hoster and while he was wearing a very nice Dracula’s costume I found that what was intriguing about him was his exquisite figure and not necessarily the white ink that he splattered over his face or the realistic fangs that he was wearing. There was something strange on his broody, piercing green eyes. He was a heavy guy and very tall, too. Even so, there was something regal in his stance and even… theatral in the way that he gestured his hands that caused me a huge impression.
It was definitely a party that I remembered off and everyone’s there have bringged their absolute A-game, so I was extremely underdressed and ashamed. Even so, I was stubborn and seeing J_ staring at me almost like she was waiting for me to bail out got on my nerves so I just puffed my chest high the way that my old man used to do and stood my ground, until it was my turn with the jury. I must say that I regretted it as soon as I saw myself exposed in the middle of all those maskared folks, pointing, laughing, moking, all of them watching me and my normal, regular clothes struggling to keep my cool. But even so, there’s nothing left to do besides wait for it to end quickly. But of course, it’s never that sample.
The host kept looking at me and I can tell you that he was really upset. So he raised his hand, asking everyone else to stop. “Look what we’ve got here! Oh my… Do you mind explaining what you’ve thinking about when you pick your costume, my boy?” I was in shock, because to me, it was pretty much a self explanatory costume but then I was obligated to answer that question and if somebody didn’t think that I’m the dumbest guy in the whole party, then it would’ve made them think otherwise. “I decided to dress as myself, sir”. Dracula just looks at me with a manic smile and shakes his head as if he was asking me to keep going on, which I feel compelled to do. “I… Uh… I was thinking that everybody will be a witch, a demon or a vampire and…” Oh, well. Bad choice of words I guess. At that point, I was about to stop and apologize but the hoster just took the microphone away to reply to me. “No, no, please, just go on!” he said. Then, he pushed the device near me again and I felt my voice shaking as I replied “…and I thought that nobody else would dress as myself so it looks like a good idea…”
Shit. It was even more dumb as I wrote it down, but things just happen to be that way.
As I finished my explanation, the hoster started talking again. His voice was really powerful and I felt that he actually does have some sort of accent although it was something almost imperceptible until that point. “Oh, that’s amazing! So you figure out that the best way to stand out in a crowd filled with all those pedestrian, conventional choices of costume, you should outsmart us because no one never ever has had this brilliant idea to come here dressed as themselves! And even if they do, folks… Even if they do, they’re not dressed for you specifically because you’re a really unique guy, despite your very basic wardrobe!” I started to apologize again but no one heard it and he cut me off, saying “No, don’t be sorry for being so clever, boy! You know what?! You’re absolutely right. Here, this is the prize! Take it!!!”
Before I could say anything else, he shoved a golden beer mug shaped as a skull on my chest as the other guests started to complain loudly. The girl dressed up as a fairy started to soby heavily and before their parents reached her, she hit me on my back with her wand screaming that I was not even trying and that she worked so hard. Other people started to complain too and before I could even think about it, the devil with the red mask grabbed me and dragged me to the bar where everyone else started to argue with the host. The bar was far enough that those people lost sight of me, which was something that made me feel very grateful. Then, my phone started to get bombarded with new messages, all of them from J_. She called me an asshole for ruining the contest and then asked if it worthed to keep my lies covered at everyone else’s expense. I was shocked because up to this day, I never realized how she had figured it out. Since I never replied, she sent me a final ominous text, wishing that I would enjoy my prize while I can.
Now, saying that I was pissed off would be the understatement of the century. I was publicly humiliated, lost my date and even got hitted by a little girl, so it was a hell of a night so far. I did have a gold beer mug, though and I decided to follow J_’s just for the mockery, as if I was proving my point. The devil definitely looked as if he was enjoying my suffering, but I was miserable and in need of company. At that party, it was unlikely that I would have found anyone else that would be willing to drink with me. Honestly, I barely remember anything about that talk aside for a few lines. First, he complimented me for winning and told me that my idea isn’t that bad. In fact, he told me that I was really bold and took the hate like a champion. Not much later, he ordered me a special drink and then, the alcohol hit and everything else was a blur.
At some point, I started to feel needles and pins over my arms and legs, then my neck started to itch and I got nauseated and lightheaded. I left the party with my beloved mug walking because it was not too far from my rented home. I guess that I’ve got that unsettling feeling that somebody was following me but I’m not sure if it actually happened or if I just imagined this part, because of what happened later. Anyway, I finally arrived home and crashed on my bed without even bothering to take a bath or change my clothes. I fell asleep and woke up in the middle of the night, feeling feverish and weak. I couldn’t move any limp and the itch sensation spread across my whole body. I could barely breathe and I felt my hands and feets swollen. Then, I passed away and woke up again just to notice that I felt even worse. As much as I would’ve liked to ask for help I couldn’t move my mouth and the only sound that I was capable of performing was a low, hoarse moan.
Things started to escalate fast after that. I woke up a few more times, but the time that I was capable of remaining conscious was lowered by a few minutes each time. I noticed that I was soaked in sweat, could barely breathe and - what’s worse - feel my whole body pulsing. The feeling was very similar to the one that you have when you accidentally get pricked by a thorn, but it’s happening everywhere. There was severe pain, heat waves and my nose started to drip pus. Then, it happened with my eyes too and I noticed to my horror that my vision was totally blurred. It was clear as day outside my window, but I could only see some fogged, indiscernible figures. One of those figures started to look a little like a human shape and got near me, but after I was able to see who it was, my conscience faded again into my dreamless sleep.
At that point, I was completely terrified and I was certain that I would not be able to make it, either because of this odd disease or by the actions of that person. Sometimes, I recall those events and I’m pretty sure that I was truly relieved when I assumed that this invasor would kill me. I think that I felt some cold, sharp instrument cutting through my skin - mainly in my neck - and I feel something hot and thick running down my body, but again, it could be just my mind playing tricks on me because I’m almost certain that I would be incapable to actually feeling any of those things at this point. For the last time, I fell asleep.
When I woke up, I was feeling better. My skin was feeling a little weird though, as if I was wearing a rubber suit or something like that. In fact, I could barely feel my clothes over my body. It was highly insensitive and caused me concern. As soon as I realized that I was able to get up, I did it and I walked straight to my bathroom mirror to check myself. What I saw was just the good, old me. My party outfit was wet, dirty and tinted by a foul-smelling brown substance that made me want to puke, so I just stripped it down and kicked it to the curb. I bathed myself and then started to worry again when I realized that the numbness did not change at all. I could barely feel the heatness of the water falling over my skin, as if it was covered by a protective coat or something like that. Then, touching myself, I discovered a very subtle incision at my whistle. It was present on both hands. The cut was very clean and precise, outlining my hand perfectly.
For a minute I did not, but then, I realized how much I needed to figure out what happened to me. I poke my fingers on that cut and found out that I was capable of sticking it behind my skin. There was no blood at all. Just a terrible smell that overtook the soap’s one. I pulled it and my skin just went off just like a glove, revealing all the muscles behind it. But instead of it being redish and vivid in colour as one would expect, it was a very dark brown. I removed the skin of my other hand and was capable of feeling the texture of what was beneath. It was just like I was touching a high texturized leather, following the pattern of muscular fibers, tendons and veins. At that point I was desperately wanting to cry but there were no tears. In fact, I realized that I wasn’t blinking at all so I ran to the mirror again and noticed another incision at my neck.
I pulled it and it went off like a latex mask, revealing my muscular horrible face. As you might have guessed, the same happened to my whole body and I just stripped myself out of my skin and started to feel the world around me again. I don’t know what has happened to me, but I’ve turned into a terrible monster. At that point, I checked my phone again and there were several texts from friends and from my parents, concerned about me disappearing from the face of the world for three whole days. For hours, I went through it over and over again in my mind. I went through denial, to rage, to self pity. Then I wished to die, but I would never do something like that because my parents believe that it’s the ultimate sin and I don’t want to go to hell. I was hungry. There’s nothing to eat at home so I tried something very stupid. I went all the way to the bathroom, took my hand’s skin and tried to wear it. Surprisingly, it fits perfectly well and I decided to wear the rest of me.
Looking directly at my reflection, it was easy enough to catch that there was something really off with my face. My eyelids didn’t work anymore and it was odd and unsettling as it should be, since I’ve become part of the uncanny valley. But if people didn’t actually glare at me for way too long, then they would not figure it out. I asked for a pizza and tested my impression. The delivery man never realized anything wrong so I decided that I might be capable of keeping it under wraps and try to live my life up to some extent. Of course, sex is out of the table. My lips didn’t work as well but since some people just wear masks due to the pandemics, that one is actually easy to hide. I bought a pair of sunglasses and changed my major to EAD and started to work remotely. Life isn’t good at all but I deeply dislike dressing up and wearing a “costume” even if it was my own skin. In fact, it’s deeply uncomfortable to do so and I can barely feel anything with it.
There was a point where my skin started to smell very badly and I found that it was infested with yeast so I went online and did some research in sites dedicated to taxidermy where I learned how to properly clean it and preserve it, because I can’t even imagined how screwed up I would be if I lost it by any reason. After a year, I’m way more used to it all than I was at the beginning and I’m trying to cope with it which I find hard, but not impossible to do. I dug up some information and tried to figure out how it all happened to me but I never found any information regarding J_ or anything out of the ordinary with the party host. I don’t know if my mug was cursed, if I was hexed by a witch or if it was a devil deed as my parents would believe if I told them it all. Heck, there were those days that I even thought that the little fairy that hitted me could actually be a magical being. Then, I think that I have lost my mind. It must be a virus or something like that. I’m not sure that I’m not contagious, actually.
But what really brings joy and peace to my days is the fact that in a few days, I will be able to attend another party. Halloween is just around the corner and I could finally be myself, after wear those stupid costume 365 days. Well, not really, but even so… Everytime that I talk with a human being or leave my home in this timeframe. And I’m pretty sure that I’ll win the best costume contest two years in a row with the same concept that I did in the past, but without all the controversy. I guess I’m trying to see the silver line here, but honestly, I’m devastated and I don’t want to see the same thing happening with no one else, so, please, for goodness’s sake… Don’t dress as yourself at a halloween party.