It took me a while to summon the courage to sit down and write this all out, but I finally did it. I know halloween is a while out, but take this as a warning. I hardly ever see anyone talking about this, as I doubt there’s ever anyone left to tell the tale, so I guess I have to take matters into my own hands. If you’re reading this, please take this as a cautionary tale, and don’t get yourself into this same shitty situation I found myself in last year.
I was never someone who followed traditions, as I found them kind of stupid and a waste of time. So, every halloween I just sat in my living room, watching tv and drinking beer in the dark with the blinds shut. That way, it looked like no one was home and no kids would come knocking. It usually did the trick, as I never even bothered with decorations, so my house seemed uninteresting to trick or treaters. I promised myself that if i made it out alive, I’d never make that mistake again. So this year gets to be my do-over. Anyways, I thought this halloween would be a night like any others, so I did my usual routine; shut all the blinds, locked all my doors, and made sure all the lights were off. Then, I made my way into the living room, kicked off my shoes, and settled in with a beer to watch some stupid old movie. I was about a fourth of the way into the movie, and 2 bottles down when I heard knocking at my door. I figured it was some group of annoying little kids who wanted as much candy as they could get their greedy little hands on, so I ignored it. The knocking came again, only this time it was louder. More urgent. 7 quick, hard knocks. Brushing it off, I kept my butt in my chair and stood my ground. The third time, the knocking stopped abruptly, after the 4th knock. Shrugging, I kept watching my movie. Somewhere along the way, probably about halfway in, I dozed off, only to be awoken by knocking again.
This time, it pissed me off. These stupid-ass little kids woke me up, even though no lights were on and I made sure my house looked the opposite of warm and welcoming. I grabbed the bat that I keep by the door, hoping to scare them off. But as I threw open the door, bat in hand, there was nothing there. Well, seemingly nothing. As my eyes shifted downwards, I was met with a jack-o’-lantern. It had triangular eyes and a crooked mouth, pretty standard stuff. It was glowing a deep, almost red orange. Harmless enough. I figured someone thought my house needed some halloween spirit, so I positioned it on my porch facing the street, and walked back inside. Looking back, that’s probably what saved my life.
I walked my naive ass back to my couch and kept on watching my movie, drifting back into a dreamless sleep. I woke up with a start around 3am to what sounded like screaming. Blood-curdling, high pitched screaming. The type that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. It seemed far away, but somehow still pretty close. I got up from my couch, uneasy, and quietly walked to the door. Bat in hand, I stepped outside barefoot and tried to find the source of that horrible sound. I still hear it in my dreams. As the terrified screaming began again, I began running towards my neighbor Annie’s house, deeming that was the source of the noise. I burst through the door and tried to find her, only to be met with the most horrific scene I’ve ever seen.
Sprawled out on the dinner table was Annie’s husband, Connor. His body was limp, and he didn’t seem to be breathing. Annie’s sat crumpled in the corner, screaming her head off. Standing over Connor were 4 people. There was a fifth person, the only one who stood with their back towards me. At first I thought it was just some person who got too into the halloween spirit, wearing a pumpkin on his head. But as he turned to face me, I realized it wasn’t a human at all. He was slightly too tall, and way too lanky to be a person. And he wasn’t wearing a pumpkin. As he looked in my direction, I saw a horrible smile carved into it’s huge, orange head, and the eyes and mouth moved in a way that seemed like a cartoonish, crude imitation of human emotions. His smile grew wider as he proudly held up his right hand, showing disgusting, long, blackened fingers gripping a large kitchen knife. Then, he turned it’s back on me once more and went back to carving the cartoonish, traditional jack-o’-lantern onto Connor’s face, as they all recited something in a language I couldn’t quite understand. They kept repeating something that seemed almost cult-like. The only word I could make out was Jack. As the carving finished, one of the cult members pulled out a candle and began lighting it. The macabre pumpkin being grabbed a butcher’s knife from the counter, and in one swift movement severed Connor’s head from his body with a sickening crunch. Throwing his body carelessly onto the floor, they sat his head upright and stuffed the candle into his mouth, creating a makeshift decoration of sorts.
I couldn’t watch any more. I grabbed Annie and tried to pull her away, but she fought against me, too far gone to realize what was happening. I tried to get her out, I really did, but she struggled against me, and eventually I had to flee on my own. I stumbled outside, terrified and breathless, and ran back into my own home, locking the front door before running around the house and making sure everything was shut and locked. I grabbed my hidden shotgun and sat on the floor, in a corner, waiting for that cult, or whatever the fuck that was come for me. I stayed up all night, trembling and sweating, but they never came. I heard the sound of a large vehicle parking in their driveway, slamming car doors, the gravel crunching with steps, and then absolute silence.
When I finally found the courage to get up and move, the first rays of light were cracking into my window. I peered outside my window, hoping to see police cars and an ambulance. To my dismay, there was nothing. Not a single sign of movement. I slowly made my way outside, approaching their house carefully. The door was wide open, but there was nothing inside. Absolutely nothing. The house was wiped clean, not a sign of a struggle, hell, not even a trace of anyone being there in a long, long time. No trace of Annie, or Connor, no furniture, nothing. Trembling, I raced back into my house, once again locking the door and double-checking everything. By the next time I left my house, there was a sign on their porch that said the house was for sale.
I scoured the internet for any detail on the gruesome events I had witnessed not even a day ago, but hours and hours of searching left me empty-handed. There was absolutely nothing about any crimes committed in my towns, no records of Annie and Connor Sullivan, absolutely nothing. Until I stumbled upon a very well-hidden, 2 year old article. It talked about the hallows eve cult, a group of religious rejects who all believed that halloween was a true night of worship, the reign of their leader, Jack the Nightwatcher, and that the ultimate sign of devotion was a jack-o’-lantern outside a home. If someone dared disrespect this delusional idea, they were rumored to search and find houses with nothing to show, and take matters into their own hands. They perform the gruesome ritual, then leave the twisted decoration on the porch. They did this to as many houses as they could find, until the crack of dawn.
I was beginning to read about the police coverup involved, something about them being untraceable, uncatchable, and about people going missing, when suddenly my browser turned black. My whole phone completely bugged and restarted, wiping all my data. I figured whoever was covering for those fuckers didn’t want anybody snooping around, and I sure as hell didn’t want any part in whatever the fuck was happening. So I put my phone away and began writing this as quickly as I could before anyone tries to intervene or stop me. If you’re reading this, even if no one goes trick or treating in your neighborhood, or even if you think it’s a stupid little tradition, or for whatever reason, take this as a warning. PLEASE make yourself a jack-o’-lantern, simple as it is, and leave it out. I am begging you. You never know who’s watching in the night.