Since I can remember, words have always been a strange and inexplicable part of my life. Not in the sense that I hear or see them somewhere. No. They appear, mysteriously, on my back every morning.
I was in adolescence when it began (or at least when I started to notice). I vividly remember the first time. I woke up, as usual, stretched, and while I was in the bathroom, I decided to take a look in the mirror. It was a hot summer night, so I was sleeping in a crop top, allowing me to see in parts a word, clear as day, written on my back. “Shit.” I was shocked and scared. I ran my hands over my back, trying to erase the word as if it were a prank. But it remained there, challenging, it didn’t seem to be ink… it was as if it were under my skin. I ran to show my mother, shouting through the house, thinking she had done it to me.
“What have I done?” she asked genuinely.
“This.” I turned and lifted the back of the top, showing the entire extent of my skin.
“Your back? Yeah, I guess I can say I did that, at least half of it.”
“Not the back, what’s written on it.”
“Written? There´s nothing there”
My dad entered the kitchen.
“Is everything okay?” He seemed confused by my display.
“Dad, did you write this?”
“Write…?”
I sighed in frustration. No matter how hard I tried, they didn’t seem to see it. I even tried to show my best friend, thinking maybe it was an elaborate prank by my parents, but she said she couldn’t see anything either. I came home irritated with that, not even having dinner, all I wanted was to sleep and leave it behind. I went into the room tossing my bag aside, knocking over a half-full glass of water resting on a desk. “I’ll fix this tomorrow” I grumbled “Shit…”. And with that, a few minutes later I had fallen asleep. The next day, another word, and so on.
Telling it this way seems to make it clear, but it took me a while to understand that the word written was always the last one I had said in the day. It was as if it were a warning, a prediction of my day. Sometimes they were positive words, sometimes negative. At first, it was almost exciting to wake up and see what was written on my back. It was like a horoscope: It was vague and generic, but it was comforting to have some notion of something from the future.
Over time, however, this novelty became a burden. It became exhausting and paranoid. I didn’t always look at my back in the morning, trying to imagine what would happen and in what situation I would say the word. Believe me, I tried not to say it, but something would happen and make me exclaim the word and when I didn’t… well, somehow I woke up in a situation that made me say it, usually just minutes before midnight. Over time, I just started ignoring the messages, you know, letting fate be fate, I ended up only glancing or accidentally seeing my back in the mirror in a situation that required seeing my back, but most of the time, I didn’t know anything. And today was one of those days.
My alarm didn’t go off, and I ended up being late for class at college. I got up in a hurry, putting on the first clothes I saw and combing my hair quickly. “Damn…” I thought “just today”. Well, today I had a date with my crush from calculus class. His name is Danny, easily one of the best students in the class, he moved to our college at the beginning of the semester and is already among the highest grades. The day passed frantically, I confess that I avoided seeing Danny personally due to my carelessness, only sending the occasional message.
I ran home to take a quick shower, put on the beautiful dress I had bought for the occasion: a white strass dress with gold details. I gave a last look at the outfit while touching up my lipstick. I was going to check if the bow on the back of it was secure when Danny’s horn honked at the door. I ran to the door, coming face to face with a classic Beetle in a beige tone. He really loves that car, he is, as I could say, a collector of antiques. When we arrived at his house, a beautiful two-story townhouse, I found myself in any girl’s dream scenario: He had prepared a fancy dinner, candlelit, with pasta and wine. Rose petals adorned the floor, in a path from the door to the chairs.
“Danny” I said almost wordlessly”
“Come on, we can’t let the pasta get cold” he laughed
During dinner, the conversation flowed wonderfully, I seemed to be in a dream. While laughing at one of his jokes, accidentally, I spilled some wine on my dress.
“Oh darn, Linda, I’m so sorry, let me help you…” he grabbed a cloth for me
I rubbed but it wouldn’t come off.
“Darn… it had to be on the white dress” I said “I need to clean it before it dries, can I use your bathroom?”
“Sure, it’s upstairs, second door on the left”
I closed myself in the porcelain interior while leaning on the marble sink. “This guy really has a lot of money” I thought. I assessed the damage and had an idea. I undid the bow by pulling the cord at my nape, letting the fabric down to facilitate cleaning, holding the dress in my hands, staring at the inside. I turned to grab the liquid soap but, as I was about to turn around, my peripheral vision caught something. A slight pinkish tone, not like a skin irritation, it was… intentional. I tilted my head over my shoulders and froze. On my bare back, rested 4 letters, as the first time, but much more threatening: H E L P.
My heart raced frantically within my chest as I stared at those letters as if they were a desperate call for help. Every cell in my body seemed to pulsate with fear as I struggled to understand the meaning behind those words. As I stood there, motionless and tormented by a sense of helplessness, the seconds seemed to drag on like hours. The distant sound of footsteps echoing down the hallway only heightened my despair, while a sinister certainty settled in my mind.
I’ve been in this bathroom for 15 minutes. Danny has asked if I need help a few times. I try to answer but my dry lips left no sound escaped…I saw him through the window looking for something in the shed, something in a black suitcase… It’s already 11:50 PM, and as I hear a metallic sound coming from behind the door, I think I already know how I’ll say the last word of the day…