January 4th, 2022
Every year in my town, someone gets sacrificed, I know this sounds like something you should get up and run away from but for me it’s been….normal, it’s been happening since before I was born, as far as I’m aware it started a decade after the town was created, around 1852, my granddad used to tell me tales about it, he told me it was a solution to a food scarcity problem, young me used to think it was something akin to the donner party, but no, it was more…supernatural than that.
Each year a list of names drop from the sky, printed on a thin white piece of paper in the spot the last person was before it came for them, and then our town must name someone to be the sacrifice from it, it was…hard at the beginning, at least I was told but we came to a consensus- the oldest person on the list should be sacrificed, seems fair right? That’s what everyone was led to believe.
That’s why it’s bullshit I was chosen and I’m 22 years of age. My mother cried when she got the news, my father expected it to be him when the officers came to the door to inform us. I wish it was, it seems more likely, the officers told me all the names were very young….kids, people in secondary school only. I think it’s bullshit but….there’s nothing I can do, once you’re named your fate is sealed.
You see, you can’t run, not actually, the thing that takes you….it can find you anywhere, anyplace, so I decided to accept it, start writing this journal and well…prepare for my demise, I’ve got a bit, it happens on the new year.
Febuary 22nd, 2022
It’s been a bit I guess, a lot of the set up happens at the start of the year, they set you up somewhere at the town square, a little building where you can request whatever you want- It’s supposed to make your final year the best you could have but I find it so…uncomfortable, people keep coming up to it and gawking in my window like I’m some sort of freak show, it sucks but…I’ve been on the other side of it. It hasn’t stopped the thought of getting revenge though…I mean I’m dead anyway, what can they do?
I realized it wouldn’t solve anything anyway, so I just decided I’ll either eat or orgasm my way to death before it’s my time, it’s the way I’ve always wanted to go after all! Mr. Jenkins back in 08 did the same thing, his death was the first I was allowed to watch….I got a churro to celebrate it.
What the fuck is wrong with this town?
March 30th, 2022
It was my birthday today, mom tried to have a normal party but it wasn’t, I….fucked up. My uncle was trying to talk to me about my time but I didn’t wanna hear it but he would just not let it go. It was so annoying, I’m the one dying, shouldn’t i decide the topic? That wasn’t enough for him so I….Well I may have grabbed the knife meant to cut my birthday cake and stabbed him in the shoulder.
I guess this thing is affecting me more than I realize but do you want to know the most fucked up thing?
No one gave a shit, they took him to the hospital but I just got looked on with pity, that’s when I realized I could do anything.
I might take a bit to write back.
july 14th, 2022
Yikes, I read back my previous entry, you’re probably scared I went on a mass-murdering rampage aren’t you? Well….Kinda, but mostly to my organs, y’know when I asked the council for the cocaine I never actually expected them to give it to me, it really seems like they’re focused in their goal to make this year the best of my life but as far as I know no one else ever got this many allowances…I guess they were never as young as me.
I should explain more, you see the youngest known person sacrificed before me was 62 years old, the names on the list usually skewed more to the older side regardless and there was always at least one person there that was old enough for people to go “makes sense” when they’re chosen. That’s what scares me the most, this thing, whatever it is…does it want younger people now? What about my cousins, my sister or any future kids my parents have to….replace me, could they be on the chopping block in a decade or two?
I don’t wanna know….but people are avoiding me now, the novelty of me being chosen has worn off, I feel like a ghost, I probably am one.
I feel sick.
September 27th, 2022
I tried to kill myself today. It didn’t work.
Not like I failed and authorities got involved, saved my life, boom, they’re the heroes.
I stabbed the knife into my neck and pulled it out and….it just didn’t bleed, there was no hole despite the fact I 100% felt it inside my neck…something about this is weird, I’ve felt like a zombie these last few months, waking up, eating, watching tv, jerking off and then going back to sleep that I might not have noticed this but this thing….it’s changing me. I’m scared. Journal, you’re all I have left.
november.
fuck this entire town and everyone of it’s inhabitants, I saw people going as me for halloween, i’m sure of it, it was a plain t-shirt and jeans but I’ve worn that 87 of the days i’ve been here, i’m going to take that kid with me i swear to god.
God. That must be who wants me, maybe…maybe my town was always like this….and now they’re showing me the truth, maybe this isn’t a bad thing…I mean I can’t die, I get everything I’ve ever wanted and the only catch is something comes out of the sky and takes me with it, I mean, how do we know it’s a bad thing? The excitement can’t wait.
December 25th, 2022
My parents didn’t visit.
December 31st, 2022
Goodbye journal, you’re my best friend….I hope you know that. I decided that I should post this somewhere….maybe someone can figure out what the hell is happening with this town but that won’t be me, tonights the night as they say. The council came and got me dressed in a nice suit, cleaned up the stubble I’ve been growing since october, and started setting the stage…. this is the hard part. I love you, you know that? I love you. I’m going to post you now, I hope you find some new friends without me around, please don’t cry.
Remember, it happens every year.