The new school year began as the long Summer had come to an end. For a while I missed having my darling Maria around, however thankfully, there was Sarah. In the mornings, after dropping the kids off, we’d spend out on her porch with endless coffee and conversation topics.
And once it was 3.00 Sarah and I would pick up the kids and go to Berry’s Parlor, where they’d feast on ice-cream and share the wildest stories, which never failed to make us laugh.
“I did not!” Maria screamed.
“What was it then? A fucking ghost?” Jake rebutted
“Jake, I didn’t take your stupid hamburger eraser!”
“Carol?” Jake turned to his sister with her face full with strawberry ice cream.
“It was Maria,” Maria gave a look at Carol that could kill her alone. “What? You stole my cherry hair tie and haven’t given it back.”
“Maria,” I interjected. “Give them back their things.”
She rolled her eyes and let out an overly long irritated sigh. “Fiiiine,” she groaned. “But don’t get your hopes up cause I don’t know where I put them.”
Jake flung his arms up to the sky accepting that he was never going to get his eraser back. “What?” Maria demanded, “you can always get a new one.”
Carol didn’t respond, upset that her favorite cherry hair tie was now missing.
“You guys don’t understand,” Maria muttered under her breath standing up, frowning so hard that tears trickled down her face, but she quickly stormed off before anyone could get a good look. “Maria,” Carol ran after and Jake right behind.
“Sorry about that Sarah I’ll buy them new ones,” I apologized.
“It’s fine I’m sure they’ll turn up eventually,” she reassured me after her brief coughing fit.
Sarah was always a petite woman, although, she’d been looking a lot weaker as the days passed. Her now slender hands reached for the kids ice cream cups to throw in the trash as she tried not to make them shack uncontrollably.
She had become uncomfortably quiet, well, quiet enough for me to notice. I would ignore the signs that she was unwell as best I could, though on the off chances I did she’d politely snap back, claiming that she was stressed and was fine other wise.
“Will you be going to the Fall Fair this Friday?” I changed the subject.
“Oh, yes I almost forgot,” she perked up. “Unfortunately, Richard can’t make it, work stuff.” I wasn’t complaining.
I heard the Fall Fair happened every year and was a must. Everyone was going to be there and it would be bizarre not to show up. It was a somewhat celebration to commentate the settlers that founded Fort Mal.
“I believe they won’t be burning the wooden man this year,” Sarah recalled.
“Not enough wood?” I questioned.
Sarah chuckled, “I’m not sure, it’s… odd.” She did have a point. It was apparently tradition to burn a wooden man as a way for the dead to have a safe way to get to heaven.
“Maybe they’ll be burning something else?” Sarah pondered. I shrugged.
“Mom…” Maria interrupted. “I’m not feeling good.”
“Oh no darling, what is it?” I place my hand over her forehead checking if there was any fever, which, instantly she swatted away, “I just… want to go home.”
“What wrong? Was it the ice cream?”
“Mom please,” she gazed up at me with eyes full of urgency that begged to go home. In the rear-view mirror my daughter frowned with warry, like she had to fulfil an unspoken mission. My lips were sealed shut from the lack of courage I had to ask what troubled her, so I bit my tongue.
Once we were home she dashed out the back door and ventured deep within the garden. Hours flew by as the sky lost it’s vibrant colors. I sat on the porch as Maria finally emerged with blacked hands and dirt covering every inch of her legs. Her shoe prints left the floor a mess as she went upstairs slamming the door behind her without a word.
That night I mopped the dirt that had seeped through the wooden panels, scrubbing it spotless. Outside the endless night stared at me through the window as I wondered what Maria had done out there.
When everything was clean and my tiredness was catching up, I went to my bed where faint whimpers could be heard from her room. And I laid paralyzed as I had no clue what was happening to my dear Maria, and I was afraid to ask.
“Do you think if you eat enough inflated balloons you’d be able to float?” Carol asked trough bites of her caramel apple.
“No,” Maria sighed. “You just get fat.”
“Ohhhh… that makes sense.” Carol nodded at her new revelation. Carol and Maria merrily walked hand-in-hand through the crowded Fall Fair, with palms full of baked goods.
Orange lanterns brightened the street as a dim, vibrant glow painted the sky. Children ran around visiting every stall as the owners loudly announced what they were selling to attract potential customers.
The smell of cinnamon pumpkin, and rust filled the air as we squeezed past the citizens of Fort Mal to get glimpses of the on going events. Screams could be heard from the nearby roller coaster as they held up their hands in delight. Jake eagerly dragged his friend over while Sarah warned him to be careful and when he was done to met them in the parking lot by the car.
“Awww but I want to go on that too,” Maria whined.
“Your to young,” I protested.
“Jake is only two years older than me.”
“And we’re taller than him,” Carol interjected finishing off the rest of her caramel apple.
“How about we go to the corn maze?” Sarah suggested.
“Oh yes!” Carol beamed.
“Where is it?” I asked. Beyond the sea of people she pointed to the farthest corner where around an acre of corn stood menacingly engulfing strangers who dared enter.
“Uh, will it take long?” I question Sarah, though she didn’t notice, as she was glued to her phone frantically checking something. “Oh… sorry,” she snapped out of it. “It should… take a few minutes, an hour max.”
I was hesitant, however, Maria franticly shock my arm with a thirst of adventure written all over her face. “…Ok… lets go,” I force out of myself not to enthusiastic over the idea. Carol and Maria squealed running ahead of us, while I tried to catch up and drag Sarah along.
Once we got to the entrance I began to regret my decision. I stood confronted with a wall of corn three times my size. “Lets go!” Maria roared with her fist held in the air Carol skipped behind her as they disappeared into the maze. “Wait,” I screech but it was too late.
“Sarah, I’m going to catch up to them,” I say.
“Ok,” she shooed me away, her fingers furiously typing away at her phone.
I run in.
“Wait…” I shout though it was muffled by the obscene amount of corn. “We’re over her mom,” Maria called out but I didn’t know from which direction.
“Hold on,” I shout.
“Mom we’re here!”
A few minutes pass as a screaming match ensued and my frustration grew. Her voice got quieter the farther I went with every turn looking the same. The concave corn blocked what little light there was with their leaves outstretched sticking to my sweat covered skin.
“Maria!” I sternly remark. There was no answer. “Carol?” No answer either.
I began panicking as not only did I lose my child, but Sarah’s as well in this labyrinth of a maze.
“Shit. Shit. Shit,” I repeated over-and-over, running as fast as I could. “Maria!” I begged for an answer, as ventured deep within the belly of the maze. Giggling children slipped by with responsible adults, and yet, no sign of my kids.
I lost hope, I couldn’t tell where I was going anymore, so I passed through walls, parting away the rows of corn to make my own path. Eventually, after my destructive display, I was in the center where Maria and Carol casually sat on an empty bench.
“Maria,” I mustered to say. She peered up at me confused as I grip onto her arm and drag her and Carol out of the maze. “NEVER do that again.”
“Mom! stop!” She winced in pain, yet, that was the last thing I was focused on. I was fuming. “I’m upset at how you behaved. You didn’t wait for us and could’ve gotten lost or worse,” I stated through heaving breaths.
She slipped from my grip and explained, “what are you talking about? We were with you the whole time.” Stunned I stared at them both in disbelief. Did I just mishear them? Maria glared at me and carol twiddled her fingers while looking at the ground.
“Darling, don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying,” she croaked holding back tears. “Why don’t you trust me?”
Sternly I said that we’ll discuss it once we get home right before we look for Sarah.
Jake was in the car park with Sarah no where in sight. No one knew where she was and even when I tried to call her she wouldn’t pick up.
The clouds began to darken as the sky rumbled. “Shit,” I mumbled under my breath. Things really couldn’t any worse. In the heat of the moment I sent Sarah a text that I was going to be dropping off her kids home, which didn’t happen.
Their door was locked and I screamed to get Richards attention, but there was no answer, probably because the down pour drowned me out. There was no point in calling him either since I didn’t have his number. “Fuck!” I banged on the door one last time, hoping that that would finally get him to open the door.
“Diane,” Maria spoke up. “I really gotta go to the bathroom.” The last thing I wanted to do was bring everyone over to our house, but with no others options I had no choice. We dashed over in the rain, and I opened the door with Carol hesitantly entering, and Jake refusing to come in. I didn’t have the energy to start an argument with him as I was more focused on dealing with Carol.
I directed her to the restroom as she carefully watched her step darting her head in all directions, like an alert rabbit. “Wait,” she stopped me before I could go and try calling Sarah again. “Don’t leave me here please,” she begged. So I agreed to wait for her by the door.
Maria got a towel from out of the closet and handed it to Jake. He snatched it out of her hands placing it on top of his head and reluctantly said thanks, Maria replied with a whatever.
My phone remained silent in my back pocket, so I called one more time. Went straight to voice mail. “Hi, Sarah I’m calling cause I have Carol and Jake with me. We’re at my house right now and - ,”
The door flung wide open with Sarah standing at the entrance furious and wet, her damp clothing clung onto her body, exposing how truly thin she’d become. Her breaths were rugged and uneasy, with her shoes soaked in fresh mud.
“Oh gosh! Do you want a towel?” I rummage through the closet searching for one that would keep her warm, cause lord knows she needed it.
“What have you done?!” She screeched. Maria and Jake peered from outside frightened by the unfamiliar tone in her voice, surprisingly so was I. Never once had I heard her raise her voice and judging from the shocked expression of her son, so was he.
Defensively I explained how I tried looking for her, I called many times and was about to leave a voice note, yet no excuse would ease the fury that was brewing inside. Beneath her resided a pool of water as drops fell off of her, and refused to take her blood shot eyes off of me.
The sound of the toilet flushing took away the tension for a split second as Carol stepped out confused at what she just walked into. Sarah darted straight for her grabbing her arm. “Owww, mom,” Carol screamed. Jake stepped forward wanting to confront his mother, yet only could muster a pleading gaze soon accepting there wasn’t much he could do in the situation.
“How could you do this to me?” Tears streamed down her face. I did nothing as she marched both her kids out into the rain.
After that we didn’t see much of the Sherman’s. Maria hung out with Carol and Jake during school days in secret, outside they acted like strangers, while I hadn’t spoken to Sarah for a while. I desperately wished to apologise, but I wasn’t sure about what.
During the off chance I stumbled into Sarah out in town she’d treat me like dirt whenever I went out of my way to say hi, and if I was lucky she would ignore my existence which was easier to stomach than the insults she’d throw.
And no matter how cruel she had become towards me I missed Sarah. I missed her so much. I missed talking with her. I missed being with her. The days were painfully boring without her and I wished I got the chance to tell her that.
A few nights past when Maria visited my room. It was midnight when I felt an ominous gaze in the room.
“Mom,” Maria called out through sniffling.
“Darling what is it? I force my eyes open. She stood at the edge of the bed with the light of the hallway illuminating her shadow to were she was unrecognizable.
Tears twinkled down her cheeks, “Mom I don’t know what to do.”
“Maria? What are you talking about?” I shifted myself concerned about the urgency in her voice.
The tears fell faster as she struggled to say what was plaguing her mind. “Maria?”
“S-Sarah is going to d-die.” My heart sunk.
“No Maria, that’s not true. What would make you say that?”
The abruptly tears stopped flowing as she responded with, “the walls.”
I came to the hard decision it was time to leave Fort Mal. It was time to move some where else and start fresh. As-much-as I wanted to stay I knew it wasn’t good for Maria; she was getting wild ideas from our living room wall and on-top of that I had lost my closet friend due to reasons still unknown.
I didn’t want to tell her the news just yet knowing she wouldn’t take it well. So I planned on making her dinner cooking every dish she loves, hoping I could possible bribe her into liking the idea of leaving. Was it dumb? Yes. But I couldn’t think of any other idea.
I was planning on going shopping when there was a knocking at the door. It was Richard, the last person I expected to see, who came to deliver news I never thought I’d hear.
It was Sunday when we wore all black.
It was quiet when we walked into the church. Too quiet. No one dared to disturb the silence. The Sherman’s sat at the very front; Carol hid her face deep within her hands, Jake held himself the best he could for his sister and Richard sat there frozen and emotionless.
I made my way to them to pay my respects with Maria, although she decided to stay at the very back. Her eyes glossed over washed with guilt.
Gently I rested my hand on Richards shoulder with a sympathetic expression, he responded with a meek nod, Jake bit down on his lip with a forced smile and Carol couldn’t acknowledge me. One look at them I knew I could never leave.
My gaze shifted to the front were Sarah’s coffin stood still. I stared deeply waiting for her to jump out with her infamous warm smiles a part of me truly believed that it would happen because I was convinced she wasn’t dead.
So, I waited. In the deafening silence I waited for any proof I was right. And reality slowly sunk in.
I headed back to Maria holding my head high. Her cheeks were flushed with streaks of wetness, and I took out a tissue dabbing it away. My stomach churned when whispers erupted about the weeping women at my own dead friends funeral.
They say she was found in the weeping women’s tree were a noose was tightly wrapped around her neck with her head partially decapitated. It was suicide. It was determined by the police, it wasn’t some mythical, make-believe creature that did that to her and I was disgusted they would twist something as serious as this to fit their narrative.
Maria gripped onto my dress and that was when I knew it was time to go, I didn’t know how much more I could take.
Once we were home I put on cartoon to distract her with a cup of chamomile tea. I promised her I’d watch some with her once I go wash up. I was in the bathroom when I turned on the faucet unleashing what felt like my world caving in. She wasn’t coming back. She was never going to come back.
The rest of the day we watched Sponge Bob feasting on pre-packaged pop corn, until it was 9 ‘o’ clock. I carried Maria up to her room as she was drifting off, she was lifeless and defeated. It broke me. All I could do was be strong for her, and for me, even if I had to fake it.
I slammed my head on my pillow coming to terms that Sarah no longer existed in my world. She was gone, but I promise I would raise her kids for her, it was the least I could do.
Thump, thump, thump
A shadow passed by my door.
Thump, thump, thump
Down the stairs they went.
Thump, thump -
They slowly disappeared on the second floor.
I followed them. “Maria!” This was the last thing I wanted to be dealing with. All the color was drained from her face as her whole body was pressed against the wall.
“What is it? What could it possibly be?” I question no longer having the strength to hold back my tears.
And what she said would haunt me for the next six years.
“Maria.”