(English is not my strong language please bear with me) Hi everyone this thought have been in my mind since few years now i want see others opinion on it I don’t know who to talk about this or should i? Etc
In all my family tree there’s one in every generation where an male around my age in 20’s dies and an girl new born dies
For evidence our family’s final rites (one of them) performed at this this place where there are many families of priests or whatever they call themselves maintain a book or you can say a register where every generation going back around 6 generations i can see( cause before this language used was different and they just don’t give out register for translation and taking pictures of it kind of disrespectful to them so i have told)
I have gone to this place once when father died there an priest who is of old age asks me and my uncles that is there been an early death of any male if not it’s coming be prepared so everyone looked at me
Now at that time I was blown and why everyone looking at me so it turns out in every generation one male dies in 20’s under mysterious circumstances so I thought it was an joke or just random thing cause old days many people were dying under mysterious circumstances due to lack of much medical knowledge
I read the register till that i can read in someone really dies My dad’s generation—my uncle died sleeping in farm by fire My grandfather’s generation— my grandfather’s brother died due to an accident My great grandfather’s generation— his brother died (no idea how though) And so on
Now I thought it’s just random weird thing i find out later by talking to relatives and that priests is that there is an pattern in which one dies 1 doesn’t have children 2 tallest 3 everyone likes and despises at same time 4 knowledgeable 5 favourite 6 good looking 7 most rooted for
Now this is an pattern what I gathered(it can be wrong it’s not an law only an observation of mine)
1 Now i have 2 cousins and one brother everyone is married and have kids so kinda lefts me out I am tallest in family,don’t have kids,been in depression since my father died , 2 everyone likes me cause i don’t disrespect and do things for everyone(kind of big family consist of many cousins and relatives and grandparents goes back I don’t know many generations but we as an family live and talk with each other goes for functions,marriages,deaths etc) 3 now after my father died everyone is rooting for me, 4always been favourite in my family, 5 about knowledge i don’t know, i am an lawyer done my law and masters trying for PH.D I don’t think i am knowledgeable cause for me these were just breeze apart from law i am not good at most of the subjects but i have some idea of law, 6 good looking i don’t about that either
i am suicidal can’t remember when I wanted to live
Now from few months I decided to get an job and thinking of getting married looking for prospective girl whom i can live my life with so after somedays i feel like my death is near I don’t know why,i am happy about it,this didn’t clicked for me till now when long uncle died and family was all together talking about it, people forcing me and my mom to get me married asap cause of my age and my 2 neice married and one had kid 1 nephew about to be married this year
Am I overthinking it? Is it a curse?am I sensing my death?