Being young only happens once to everyone, it is only natural to try and make the best out of it. The most interesting, the most fun and sometimes the most thrilling.
We were almost eighteen when we found the abandoned factory. We never found out what it was used for or even if it was a factory at all, all we knew it was a big building where we had our privacy.
More like “privacy” because we just used it to do random shit that our parents wouldn’t approve of. We smoked a bunch, sometimes the good stuff and from time to time someone would bring something… more interesting. Most of the time however we were just drinking beer or whatever alcoholic beverages we could find.
With that we had the interesting and the fun, only missing the thrilling. Of course we just had to do a test of courage and whoever failed had to drink a shot or two. Boiling it down, a test of courage is just doing something that you are afraid of. Sometimes overcoming your fears is a good thing, for example irrational fears,
like the fear of going outside. Or the fear of long words. Of course we could have just dared everyone to touch a spider but that was obviously not thrilling enough. Ironicly I would have taken the shot for that.
No, instead we dared everyone something else. Like I already said, the factory was big. It was also tall. On what probably was the seventh floor It was missing a few walls, only leaving some metal rods where those once stood.
Fear isn’t challenge. Not always are you supposed to overcome it. We dared everyone to go to those rods, grab onto them and swing a full circle, seven times in a row. Half of that circle would be outside the building of course. The fear of hights might be considered an irrational fear, the fear of falling however is quite rational. Thinking back now,what happened next isn’t surprising at all .
We were seven at the beginning. We played Rock Paper Scissors to decide the order. The first three actually tried losing to be first. I was one of them, as stupid as I was lucky. After everyone had their number we started. To this day I don’t know why nobody took the shots instead. Some of us like one two and three wanted to do it but number four really wasn’t into it. I guess she just wanted to fit in. Although no one of us would have teased anyone in a serious manner, had they taken the shot instead. We were good friends after all.
Number one really went at it. We didn’t time how long we took for the seven circles but he was defenitly the fastest. I was number two and tried to be as fast as one but it was no surprise that nobody was able to beat one in a fight of fitness. After number three it was fours turn. She was always the smartest one of us so obviously she wasn’t thrilled to do it. As I already said we wouldn’t have teased anyone, had they not done it, however we did encourage her. One even went as far to swing two more times on the rod. Showcasing how secure it is. Guess he was the luckiest of us all.
Four took her time to position herself and started. One spin, two spins, three spins, four spins, five spins. Whenever someone falls in movies it is shown in slow motion. It is actually the opposite. In the middle of the sixth swing number four just disappeared. We didn’t even understand what just happened. There she was the one moment and the next… she wasn’t. Didn’t even have the time to scream. Number six was the first to move. She walked to the ledge, stepping long but slow. Knowing but not believing what happened. During these few moments the ledge turned into a border splitting realities.
The moment six reached the ledge and saw what nobody wanted to believe, one reality shattered. Our reality. The one we had lived in until this very moment. And so the panic began. We didn’t know what to do, how to react. Some cried, some argued, some stood in silent shock. We all were scared.
It took us a long time to go down from the seventh floor. We found four lying half on an old concrete beam. Her back was bent in a weird angle, both her legs broken beneath the knees. The elbows were shattered and the eyes bloodshot. That’s at least what we could see on the first look. Had to see. Her hands appeared to be fine, she didn’t try to break the fall. The fear we felt on the seventh floor came flooding back. Some of us ran away towards the forest, puking their guts out.
It was then when we realized what situation we were in. What would happen next? What would happen to us after this? A new type of fear set in. We were scared of what people would think of us when they found out. Scared of thinking about how our future was ruined. It may have been an accident but we encouraged her. Other would say coerced.
It was then that we made a decision and a promise. A decision and a promise that everyone regretted to their last days and yet never broke. We took four’s body and buried her inside the factory. In the darkest corner of the deepest part we could find. Afterwards we gathered a lot of metal trash lying around everywhere and filled the corner with it. After we were done it looked like any other part of the factory. Just the part were the floor broke and the dirt layer once lie freely was not visible anymore.
We returned home and said nothing. First came worried parents asking our parents if four was with us. She always had been after all. We didn’t know were she was. We put on our best poker face and said we hadn’t seen her since our last meeting. That much was true after all. The lie was that she left with us. The parents were devastated, four’s siblings worried and in denial. Everything is ok, she probably just needs some time for herself. That’s what they said. And we just nodded in agreement, leaving them to their futile search. What good friends we were.
Four was never found and our future we tried to protect was grey. We never achieved anything. Our group disbanded and no one of us ever found new friends. We never talked about what happened. Never even acknowledged it. Except in our dreams. Haunting us for what we did, for our lazy excuses. Trying to protect our future? All we tried to do was to excuse us from our fault. They wouldn’t understand we said, it was an accident. We didn’t coerce four, it would have been absolutely fine had she taken the shot. All of that just a mountain of lies to absolve us of our fault. We made it seem as if we didn’t need anyone’s forgiveness because we knew we wouldn’t get it. We didn’t deserve it.
What we deserved came later. Came after us one by one.
Five died in his flat and was found 3 months later. Missed rent payments apparently. His funeral was short, only his father present.
Three was shoved in front of an incoming train. The culprit was never found. It was in the local news for about a day and then nobody cared anymore.
Six just went missing. The police looked for her after her workplace tried to fire her for not showing up anymore. They haven’t found her yet.
One went through some of the worst after what had happened. He gave himself more fault than anyone else. It destroyed him from the inside. He started drinking, even on the job and eventually, was almost unrecognizable. His ultimate demise was when he started with heroin. His third shot was already golden.
Seven jumped of a bridge during all of that. She didn’t even make the news so it took me a while to find out.
That leaves only me. I’m the last one. Everyone else is dead now. I’m almost done.
Now I’m speaking to you directly. You know if I mean you. You never stopped. You are the only one who is still looking for four. I don’t know if you care for anything I have said till now but believe this. We have always regretted. From that very day until we died. Somehow they all knew. Knew why I visited. They didn’t fight they didn’t cry. They knew it was the right thing to do, the only way for justice.
They almost seemed glad.
We talked about the past, about our childhood, about our dreams when we were young. Everyone had something else to say but one thing stayed the same. They asked one thing of me. They asked me to tell you were to find four. I believe seven would have asked the same.
I know you already found the factory but you didn’t find the deepest point. There is a staircase hidden beneath some roots. You will probably have to cut your way through. After the staircase take a left and you will enter room with a lot of scrap metal in the right corner. Under that metal the floor is broken and there you will find what you have been looking for. Searching for her for longer than you haven’t. Lead her to the place where she can truly rest. That’s all I ask of you.
With that I have to say goodbye. After all there is still one more I have to take care of.