The cats stalk the streets at night, calling to me with their tomcat mating yowls. I stand every evening on my small balcony looking over my street, chain-smoking cigarettes and watching the stream of cats disappear here and there in alleyways and up dividing walls. I’m always vaguely aware of my neighbors on their respective balconies, smoking their cigarettes, drinking their coffees and teas. We never acknowledge one another as we gaze outwards. Occasionally we catch one another’s eye with a pause of recognition, knowing we just broke the unspoken rule of pretending to be invisible. A few seconds stretch out into infinity as we lock eyes, neither of us will say anything, but the human behavior of eye-contact enough feels as though we’ve commited a cardinal sin. I break away from this interaction, wishing none of it, I want to be enveloped by the night city noises and the lamplight shine, the soft noises from strangers making their ways home, their foot steps crunching over the gravel of the construction sight on the corner.
Its chilly out, I’ve paused a few feet into my apartment, the balcony door is open and the wind blows the curtains, they lick at my feet, only a few centimeters short. The warm stale air of my living room drifts past my head as the cool outside air pulls past my legs and tucks itself away under my furniture, evicting dust-bunnies who clutch to one another and roll across my floor, amassing themselves as refugees before squatting under my piano with the rest. The soft yellow light from the street lamps act out shadow plays on my shifting curtains, waving branches coil and churn with the waves of the cotton. I like to go out at night. There’s an anonymity to how we are supposed to behave ourselves at night.
The last few steps towards the ground floor of my stairwell echo around me while I tap my open ringed palm against the railing, sending metallic raps against the tiled walls. The front door rattles as someone slides their key into the lock, opening the door, I whistle quietly so my presence doesn’t surprise them, they tap the light switch and my pupils shrink as I turn my head sharply down to avoid the light.
What to do…
I’m sweating and running, the cold night chills my beaded forehead, leaving me feeling sticky and uncomfortable. I’m dashing down an alley, hunched low so ground floor windows are above me. All I hear is my own breathing and the sounds of my shoes making their way underfoot. I’m hiding behind a dumpster, laying prone with my face pressed to the concrete, one eye is open, the one closest to the ground, I hear them before I see them. A couple strolls by talking. They can’t see me. Still my heart rate goes up, I take a deep breath and exhale slowly, creating ripples over the puddle of trash water that stinks but a few inches in front of me. The upside down reflections of their lower halves go past my puddle, wavering. They round the corner and their sounds fade away. I live in the stillness for a chapter or two of the night, a light drizzle of rain starts to make me shiver. The concrete ground has left impressions in my cheeks and my forehead, I can feel it, numb.
Time passes…
I’m sprinting close behind a rather large black cat, where ever it goes, I go. It climbs trashcans and jumps over walls, I’m hot on its heals, it scampers up a tree and jumps to a rooftop, I do so as well. It’s hissing at me, sending looks over its shoulder, but I don’t give up. Its paws run quietly over metal sheeted roof, I pound over it, sending claps of thunder to the occupants. We leave a wake of angry faces looking out windows, and lights turning on like dominoes. The cat perches atop an old chimney and stops, it stares me down. I stop, I bend over with my hands on my knees, chest heaving as the cold air drys my throat. We can see across the city from here, buildings of mismatched height of Art Nouveau style are blanketed in black a velvet, fitting their forms.
A light floods us, leaving us silhouetted and blind on one side. Both our heads turn towards the intrusion on our moment, closer than either of us realized is a large bay window. The same large bay window emitting its light. The same large bay window, behind which stood an elderly woman with an oxygen nasal cannula hanging just below her nose. She opens the door to the balcony we now realize we are standing next to, sticks her nasal cannula back in her nose, and beckons to us, asking if we would care for a drink and a smoke. We stare at her with cats eyes shining in the light of her stage. I look to the cat, the cat looks to me. The cats nods subtlety, I look back to the woman and answer for the both of us. ‘‘Yes, that is very kind of you, thank you.’’
The cat said about so much, but not quite as verbally as I had.‘‘Not a bother, I could use some company in fact.’’ she said. ‘‘My name is Capucine.’’ said Capucine.
‘‘Hello, Capucine, my name is… um.’’ I stammered ‘‘yes, my name is, well, err…’’
‘‘Go on then, I believe in you.’’ said Capucine.
I flushed a bit at this, the cat looked away as if it weren’t with me. Thinking quick, I said, ‘‘My name is February.’’
‘‘Uh-huh. That’s a very pretty name.’’ Said Capucine. ‘‘Fitting, as that is the current month. Were you born in February?’’
‘‘No, why?’’ I asked.
‘‘And what is your cat’s name?’’
‘‘Oh well, he isn’t so much my cat, as he’s, well, a cat I’ve just met.’’
‘‘Purrrrrr’’ said the Black Cat as it nuzzled the old lady known as Capucine.
She poured us each brandy, and a glass for herself. She produced a silver cigarette case with blue flowers painted on it, and offered us each one. After she lit herself her own, she lit ours for us. Purrrrrr was surprisingly versed in such things, as they didn’t even cough once while smoking.
We watched on with straight faces as Purrrrrr attempted to hold the snifter of brandy, claws protruding, clicking and pecking at the glass as it slid here and back along the table top. Eventually, Purrrrrr settled for sticking their whole face into the snifter and lapping at the brandy.
Just then, there was a loud knock at what I presumed was the front door. ‘‘Don’t worry.’’ said Capucine‘‘I’m sure its just the police. You two were making such a ruckus out there.’’
She rose slowly with the grace of an inflating air mattress. Once her structure had expanded and her height reached its zenith, she began to shuffle towards the front door with the help of her walker.
We sat there, out of sight of the door, smoking our cigarettes and nervously eyeing each other and the door next to the large bay window.
‘‘Why, good evening officers. What’s the matter?’’ Asked Capucine.
‘‘We received several calls saying there was a man running along the rooftops of the neighboring buildings. One report said they believed the suspect entered this very apartment. Are you alone? Do you need help?’’ asked one of the police officers.
‘‘Is this person supposed to be dangerous? Has there been a report of a break in?’’ Asked Capucine.
‘‘We really can’t say weather or not they’re dangerous, but no there’s been no break ins as far as we know. But are you alone here? The man did not come in? Would you mind in we had a look around?’’
‘‘I really am quite alone here, I make a habit of locking my balcony door when I don’t intend to go out side. There’s a fire escape right there you know, the ladder is stuck in the down position at the street, so anyone really could climb up. If that man, who ever you say he is, ran to my balcony, I feel its much more likely he simply climbed down from there. Don’t you?’’
‘‘Ok ma’am, if you say so. Have a good night, and don’t hesitate to call us if you see anything unusual, alright ma’am?’’
‘‘Naturally, officer. Have a good night now, stay safe.’’
She made her way back to us in the kitchen, shuffling all the while.‘
‘Now then. Where were we.’’
‘‘Just saying hello really.’’ I answered.
‘‘How old are you?’’ asked Purrrrrr to our mutual surprise.
‘‘….’’ said Capucine
‘‘….’’ Said I.
‘‘Oh excuse me, did I not introduce myself, I’m being rude. My name is Purrrrrr. Now, you’re maybe a couple centuries old? Four?’’ asked Purrrrrr.
‘‘You just spoke! Aloud even! In a language we understand!’’ I yelled in astonishment.
‘‘Yes’’ said Capucine ‘‘It appears you’ve blown your cover.
‘‘Well fuck me, ok, I mean you just drop this bombshell on us but don’t elaborate?’’ I exclaimed.
Purrrrrr gave me a sideways look for a moment, and continued, ignoring me,
‘‘I asked, how old are you, Ms.Capucine. It’s one fact I couldn’t find out, I’m dying to know.’’
Capucine, the elderly woman who looked to be 100, if a day, looked Purrrrrr straight in their eyes and let a long exhale through her teeth.
I felt an electric sort of feel, a warm hum, like when all the wind stops and a thunderstorm is brewing. No bird sounds, no insects. But only we were inside so, there were no birds or insects, at least not very loud insects for that matter. If there were any, I’m sure they were already quiet to begin with.
‘‘YOU!’’ Cried Capucine, the word sent malice outwards the entire room, it felt as though the temperature had dropped a few degrees and the light got dimmer. She spat the word at Purrrrrr, droplets of spit flying off her protruding fangs.Oh no.What?Fangs?Everything happened in a blur. She sprang into motion, vaulting over the kitchen table, sending brandy snifters flying and crashing against the ground. Purrrrrr jumped vertically and Capucine flew right through the spot where they had been sitting just moments before. Purrrrrr dodged a swipe, sprinted to the wall and jumped off the inner corner and back at Capucine, who was raising her hands to block them. Purrrrrr scratched at her face rapidly, before hissing and retreating around a corner. In the commotion I had smartly hidden myself under a blanket, peaking out at the action. A hiding place so obvious, clearly no one would find me!
I almost jumped out of my skin as Purrrrrr appeared next to me under the blanket.‘‘What is your necklace made out of?’’ Asked Purrrrrr. ‘‘Silver.’’ I answered.
‘‘How convenient, scripted almost. Give it here.’
’I handed it over to Purrrrrr who then snuck out of the blanket, but at the last second flipped it off me and yelled, ‘‘Behind you, you old Crow!’’ I was shocked, how could this talking cat who I only just met have betrayed me like this? I froze in place as Capucine turned her head 180 degrees around towards me, her front side still facing away from me. She started walking backwards to me as I peed her couch in fear, counting it as a tiny victory.
Just then Purrrrrr climbed up her front and rammed my silver necklace into her ear with surprising force, sending a small squirt of blood and fluids out past Purrrrrr’s paw and all over the once white walls and ceiling.I screamed.Capucine screamed even louder.The once quiet insects screamed as well, but we didn’t hear them.She spun wildly, swatting at the air as smoke rose from her ear. She clawed at the side of her head, screaming and screeching like a banshee. She dropped to her knees and began convulsing on the floor. Purrrrrr stalked away from the writhing mess on the floor that was quickly congealing into a black puddle.
The room was a Jackson Pollock-esque nightmare. Smoke drifted over the lights, giving off an eerie grey-blue hue. There was broken glass everywhere, but, probably much to anyone’s astonishment, it wasn’t the cause of all the blood. The table was turned over, picture frames lay broken on the floor, leaning against the walls. A feather pillow had been torn asunder, leaving feathers everywhere. One of the couch cushions was even inexplicably soaked in some sort of urine.The black cat came up to me, stood by my side and took in the scene, shaking its head in distaste.
‘‘What just… what happened?’’ I asked to no one in particular.‘‘Listen kid.’’ Said Purrrrrr. ‘‘That thing wasn’t no friendly old lady, alright? I’ve been tracking her down for months, but somehow, YOU followed me, I couldn’t fucking LOSE you, you kept up and followed me right here. In the end I had to use you as cover, and–’’
‘‘Wait.’’ I interupted. ‘‘…yes?’’ answered Purrrrrr, annoyed‘‘Why are you giving me this evil villain monologue that happens in every bad movie, where at the end when he should be making his escape, the bad guy pauses long enough to explain everything, taking long enough for the authorities or who ever to catch up and get him??’’ I asked.
‘‘First of all, I’m not the bad guy all right? Also I’m not a guy at all, just call me Purrrrrr. Furthermore, I’m explaining this all to you because I don’t want you to constantly wonder what the fuck happened here in case you don’t want to join me. And whats more, even when you know everything, no one will believe a word you say if you try to tell someone!’’ explained Purrrrrr, with the annoyed face of anger only a cat can make.
‘‘Now as I was saying–’’ began Purrrrrr,‘‘JOIN you?’’ I interrupted again ‘‘What does that mean??’’ I asked.‘‘Shut up and listen wont you? Maybe you’ll find out.’’ said Purrrrrr.‘‘I’m what my people call a Runselkeet. Runselkeets are something like a, shape-shifting, time-manipulating, demon-hunter.’’‘‘Ohhh’’ I said under my breath, definitely not understanding. Purrrrrr paused, looking at me, expecting to be interrupted again, then continued.
‘‘I have been tracking down this Sursquatqchq for months, trying to learn its weaknesses. And before you ask, no, you don’t know what a Sursquatqchq is. You see, I hunt demons and beings that no one really quite understands or knows yet. There’s a criteria, we don’t just kill indiscriminately, we observe their behavior, see if its at all in accordance with the laws of this dimension, and if it seems prudent, we reach out to them to see if they want to learn to co-habitate here in this dimension peacefully. When everything else fails, that’s where I come in. I’m the enforcer, I’m when might makes right.’’
‘‘What did this Sursssqooo, sursä, simp, slurrpy whatcha-call-it do? You know, to get to get smoked like that?’’ I asked.
‘‘The Sursquatqchq kept unlawfully manipulating time and space, the effects were not quite apparent to your people yet, but pretty damn soon they would be, and to disastrous affect. We tried informing her that what she was doing was plainly unethical, how it harmed others, but she wouldn’t listen. So I had to take over.’’ Said Purrrrrr.
‘‘If you studied her, and knew how to kill her, why didn’t you come prepared? Why didn’t you bring silver with you?’’ I asked
‘‘I didn’t PLAN to kill her just now, I was going to observe her living quarters one last time to make sure my plans were ready, but then YOU appeared. At first I thought you might have been another Sursquatqchq that my associates had somehow missed. But that would have been extremely unlikely. Then I made the logical assumption that you might just be really, really, strange.’’ Said Purrrrrr.
‘‘That is a fair assumption, really.’’ I answered. ‘‘I like to go out and do strange shit, you know, not anything illegal necessarily, just things that are socially unacceptable behavior that I can get away with more easily at night. I don’t want to harm anyone, or scare anyone you know. I guess I got a little carried away chasing after you, it was just so fun to be a cat.’’ I said.
‘‘I see.’’ Said Purrrrrr ‘‘I have observed much more troubling behavior from Humans, so I can’t say what your doing is immoral. Just weird.’’‘‘But why did you say you wanted me to join you?’’ I asked‘‘Your aptitude seems a good mach for what help I need.’’ Answered Purrrrrr‘‘What help could you possibly need? Aren’t you a time traveling shape-shifter? That sounds pretty overpowered as it is!’’ I said.
‘‘Not exactly, first of all, I’m not a time traveler, I can manipulate time, but it takes a huge effort on my part and isn’t easy to do. It’s not so much time travel in the traditional sci-fi sense as you understand it. It’s more like opening a door to my home dimension. Time and space are, in a sense, one and the same, but not really. To get to the point, I can, with great effort, open a door back to where I’m from. And as for shape-shifting, that too requires a great deal of effort. I can’t do it easily with the snap of my fingers. The process itself is fast, but I can only do it around once every 24 hours or so. If I try to do it too often, I can sort of slip and turn into something I might not really want to be, or something that might not be inhabitable, you know, something that’s able to live.’’
Purrrrrr continued ‘‘Being a human can be helpful, but when I’m studying targets, or executing them, it’s definitely not the best form. Super easy to kill, one, not very conspicuous, hard to hide, and humans draw a lot of attention not only from targets, but from other humans as well. Its one thing if I’m in the form of a small bird flying by a target’s house, but if I’m a human staring into a target’s window all night, you get the point.’’
‘‘Isn’t this job dangerous?’’ I asked‘‘Yeah. You saw what just happened here, If you can accept that risk, we can pay you handsomely. Honestly humans aren’t a good fit for this, but I’m getting a bit lonely out here, and the fact that you haven’t ran away or started freaking out is a good sign by me. You help me out doing human stuff, I do the heavy lifting, you get paid. Sound good?’’
‘‘Yeeeee.’’ I answered. ‘‘Wait. Are you like, originally in the form of a cat?’’
‘‘No. Why?’’ Asked Purrrrrr‘‘You said your name was Purrrrrr’’ I answered.
‘‘Oh, that. That’s just a coincidence that that’s the sound more or less of what your cats make. Purrrrrr is my actual name, although it’s meaning isn’t translatable into human consciousness.’’ said Purrrrrr.
‘‘Oh, try me! I want to see what I can interpret!’’ I said.
‘‘Are you absolutely sure?’’ asked Purrrrrr.
‘‘Yes yes yes go go go goooooo!’’ I said.
The Some What Large Black Cat stared at me, raised one eyebrow quizzically, closed its eyes and put on a look of concentration. At first I didn’t feel anything, or understand anything. I got distracted for a second, looked over at the puddle of black goop that used to be Capucine, and began to ask ‘‘Oh, what do we do with the bod-’’
Then I began to trip the hell out.
I became time, I thought in terms of indescribable extra-dimensional spacial dimensions, my body was the Event Horizon of a universe sized black hole.‘‘NO NO OK NO OK OK STOP!’’ I tried to say, but I didn’t know where my mouth was. Then I was back. All was back to normal. I was sweating bullets.
‘‘Woah. Are you ok?’’ asked Purrrrrr.
‘‘I never tried that on a human before. Is your brain melting?’’They asked.
‘‘Let’s just. Not do that again just yet. I’m good.’’ I said.
Three other cats of three varying colors strolled into the room from the balcony, lead by a very large rat.
‘‘That’s the clean up crew. Time for you to leave.’’ Said Purrrrrr. ‘‘Go on home and do your thing. I’ll be in touch when I need you.’’
I nodded at Purrrrrr affirmatively, then nodded one downwards half nod to the newcomers in a greeting, and waved goodbye to the puddle on the floor. Trying not to totally freak out, I briskly walked out to the balcony and climbed down the fire escape.
I’m back home now. I took a shower and smoked a couple cigarettes. I think I’m about ready to go to sleep, the sun IS rising now. This night went very differently than expected, I was only tangentially involved with the police, and not even directly interrogated. As far as nights go, this one was pretty successful.
I wonder when I’ll hear from Purrrrrr again…