The “I” doesn’t matter, neither would i ever claimed i ever had so.
She met me in the park, at night, the only time i came so late onto it.
i felt it was dangerous, and my mind was always overcome by fear in such prospects.
But i pushed through.
Unfortunately i was right.
We chatted, we approached one another, and her sweet words lured me into her self.
The alure of an angel, but in fact an anglerfish, dragging me towards its maw.
It was getting late, she offered me the chance to come to her house.
i relented, for i’d never deny in speech, and for i was entranced.
The more time passed, the more i came and followed her steps, the more uneasy i came to be, i didn’t know what was to come.
i was unsure if she had noticed my increasingly sheepish behaviour, but once i looked at her.
Once i saw her eyes. Truly, it was clear she knew from the get go.
Whatever would come to happen would come at the expense of my self.
i myself knew, and yet i kept going, for it was all i knew to do.
She openned the door, she let me in.
It was average, dread overwhelmed me but normalcy still seemed to be.
As i settled down on the couch she spoke with me briefly, excused herself, then went to the kitchen.
She came back and brought me bread and wine, whilst for herself she had waffles with honey and a glass of milk.
After we finished, she gently chitchatted with me, rose up, and as she went to go to her bedroom, she gestured i’d come.
i had only known her for a night, and wondered if i should, but the loneliness i’ve beared my whole life came and eroded my doubt.
i relented. And i felt my heart sink, and a weight upon my shoulders.
As i finally came, i didn’t know what to do.
Her figure in an indiscernable pose.
i didn’t know, i didn’t know.
If it was calling me in or preparing to sleep.
It felt like more than anything she just wished for me to choose.
The dread was unbearable, as soon as i stepped through the door it felt as if i was about to perish at any moment.
i was instructed to close the door, i did so, and then to lay on the bed.
As i did so she left it, turned off the lights, closed the blinders.
i felt something grazing my cheeks, near my spine, near my shoulders, however she wasn’t even there.
She was by the blinders still, not even paying attention towards me.
And then, it was if those very things grazing me would come and pin me down.
My arms, my legs, immobile, it felt as if i weighted ten times the normal.
She came and laid upon the bed, by my side, looking directly to my eyes.
Her expression wasn’t the same as i had come to be used to, nor was it as it’d be soon enough.
It was cold, almost judging, as if analysing my soul, not to decide anything but to understand.
Albeit as much as it felt near-clinical it was the most genuined i had felt her.
She then hugged me, the dread mounting up, although some comfort also came.
She began chewing on my shoulder, and hugging me tighter.
Then she drew blood.
Dread finally overtook and overwhelmed me, fully.
And my flesh, and my blood, was given to her.
And my mind blanked, and no longer was i there.
And i became a lamb in the mouth of a wolf and not even could i cry.
i felt the weight become heavier, and that which pinned me down now tightened around me.
And i did not know if my body was in any other form being dessecrated, for my mind no longer was there.
And then she kissed me, and then she chewed, and so on, and so on.
As if i was being consumed, partially literally but much, much beyond.
When i finally had the mental ability to perceive again, the cold genuine demeanor, those dilated pupils were no more,
In their place was something feral, of sharp teeth and no mind of its own, using of what felt like tendrils to suck my life force.
And the very wine and bread i took now i was giving of my own to her.
i closed my eyes.
i could barely remember anything after that,
But by the end, it finally stopped.
That brief glimpse of the same being of cold demeanor came back, the trauma gave away to dread and the unfitting sense of comfort once more,
but more than at any point before i was being held tighter than ever;
It felt as if my ribcage was to implode.
Somehow, i slept. Likely from exhaustion.
When i woke up the next day she wasn’t there.
i went down stairs.
There was breakfast and a note, mostly speaking on how she wasn’t home for a bit.
i relented and ate it, took the note, wrote my own, placed it and left.
i went home, and went to sleep again.
It has been a week, i have barely gone outside since, and the fear she may find me makes me turn to stone.
Once a friend spoke of her attempting to get in touch with me.
i haven’t answered any friends since.
i haven’t spoken with anyone since, i’ve spent the days on my bedroom leaving only for my necessities and working when i need to and nothing else.
I don’t know if i’ll ever be able to live a normal life again,
or even if i want to.