My parents are screaming at me to wake up. It’s funny.
Oh, wait. What’s happening? Oh how silly of me! I didn’t give any context! Stupid of me, like always.
When I was a child and a teenager, my parents were stricter than strict for no reason. I always had to have my door open and I had it removed when I was 14, they tracked my every step, I couldn’t have sleepovers and it was rare I could casually hang out with friends. I couldn’t even go out to the front porch without them coming with me. I couldn’t set boundaries for myself “until I was in college”. I had to make high A’s, which was never easy for me because I struggled learning. If I even made a single B, I’d be beaten. I found myself in the most trouble in high school where everything was too hard. Too fast paced and little time for rest. It was a hard time because I had no support. It was a hard time because nobody ever seemed to be true. It was a hard time because high school and my parents were just shitty.
But sometimes they were nice. They gave me everything I persuaded for. They bought all my fancy little clothes. They bought all the little necessities I needed. They pampered me with everything I could ever want. I was never a kid who asked for more expensive or luxurious things, so it was probably easy. They gave me a roof, a pet, a source of food and drink, they gave me minimum life.
This only made me rebel. I wanted my freedom for so so long, but I couldn’t. But that opportunity finally came before I was supposed to celebrate my 19th birthday two nights ago. My parents were scolding me on how I haven’t found a good college yet even though I had just graduated high school that same week. It was like they wanted me to just immediately go to school again, like I didn’t have to wait for a response to my applications. It was like I could just go inside a college and start attending.
I was so tired of them and their persistence at impossible timed things. So so tired.
I decided it was time to put this to an end. I didn’t need them, they wouldn’t need me. I had all the necessary things to get away. It was time.
When they slept that night, I grabbed hold of the gun my dad kept in his basement. Was I really about to do this? I was having second thoughts. No no no no. I should just forget it. There’s no point. Those second thoughts only stayed for a second until I returned to my old mindset. You’ll be free, isn’t that what you wanted? I thought. Yes. I wanted so badly to be free. Now I should take up the chance before it’s too late.
My stomach curdled as I went back upstairs and into my parents room. The intrusive thoughts telling me not to do it came heavy again, but the thought of freedom and ascension was the only thing I had to think of to slice clean through those thoughts. I wouldn’t let them stop me when it could bring me such great results.
I don’t go to their bed or them. Instead, I come into their bathroom in front of their mirror, my skull feeling slightly heavy. I can only stare at my reflection for a few minutes before having flashbacks of everything thats ever happened in life that can I remember. Tears start welling in my eyes, I can only be as silent as possible before one of my parents wake. I am in their bathroom after all.
This is gonna hurt.
I aim the gun towards my sleeping father, or that’s what people think. I don’t realize the guns actually pointed at me. My eyes are closed, I can’t see a thing. Until I pull the trigger and fall to the ground. It’s alright, I’ll be free either way.
It only feels like I was bumped in the head, I almost feel fine until I start choking and everything near my head starts tingling burning. It hurts only for a minute before I feel euphoric. The pain has gone away, but I can hear the screams of my parents and rushing footsteps to the bathroom. I only see their feet for a split second before everything goes dark, and the childhood memories start playing.
I’m free.