I was kidnapped by a group of Gen Z vampires.
Storytime…..
About a year ago I was lonely and felt ready for a relationship so I downloaded Tinder. After months of no luck, a pretty Goth girl liked me and messaged me with a pickup line “Are you Pepsi Max, because you’re too sweet”
I’m not good at cheesy lines like that so I replied with “maybe I am”. She sent an “LMAO” and we started talking. She had similar interests to me which we talked about a lot and after a few days of chatting she asked if I was interested in meeting up. I told her I was and she asked if I wanted to go watch a movie with her the next evening at around 9pm. “Sounds good” I replied and the next evening I arrived at the cinema early and waited for her for about 10 minutes.
When she finally arrived in a car with 3 other girls, she asked me if I wanted to get some food with her and her friends first. They seemed nice and I was pretty hungry so I said “sure, why not?” and hopped in the car.
None of them really talked on our short journey. The passenger in the front and the girl I was taking out were just on their phones watching Twilight edits on TikTok. When the car finally stopped, it wasn’t at a restaurant but at an old church.
“What are we doing here?” I asked
The girl I was taking out hit me across the back of the head and I think I passed out because the next thing I remember was being tied to a chair in front of the altar at the old church. Standing in front of me with a needle was the girl I was meant to take out.
“What’s going on?”
“Shush”
“Let me go”
“I said shush”
“Look, I’m not into whatever this kinky shit it is you’re into”
She started laughing
“Bestie. This isn’t what you think it is okay, now shush”
The girl I was meant to take out approached me and stuck the needle into my arm taking out some blood.
“SAOIRSE. LOUISE”
Two bats flew in from the front door of the old church and then transformed into the two girls who were in the car with us
“Um, what the fuck?” I asked frightened and confused
The girl I was with handed the needle to one of the other girls and then sat on my knee
“We’re vampires, honey”
“Vampires? VAMPIRES? Vampires aren’t real”
“Didn’t you see those two transform from bats into themselves?”
“Yes”
“What can vampires do?”
“Turn into bats”
“Exactly”
“So you’re going to drink my blood then”
“What? Don’t be silly. That’s such a 1600’s thing to do. We’re vegetarian”
“So why do you have my blood then”
The girl who took the needle off the girl I was with reached into her back pocket, took out a vape, filled the tank with my blood and then started puffing on t”
“Pass it here Louise” said Salirse
She passed her the vape and she took a puff
“I was craving this for ages now”
The girl I was with reached out her hand and Saoirse gave her the vape and then she took a puff.
“So since you have my blood for your…..vaping addictions are you guys going to let me go now?”
All 3 laughed
“Daddy Satan needs his monthly sacrifice to stay happy. He’s really depressed these days so in order for him to be happy, we sacrifice people to him. Sacrifices are like his anti-depressants” said the girl I was meant to take out.
“Ah fuck off” I tried to break free but the ropes were too hard to break free from
Louise started approaching me and started speaking in a weird language that I was unable to understand.
“What’s this, some Satanic language or some shit?” I asked
“What? No? It’s parseltongue, from Harry Potter. Satan loves Harry Potter so we speak parseltongue to him. Daddy Satan loves it when we speak parseltongue”
“Whatever”
Saoirse then approached me with a knife, held it to my throat and started speaking parseltongue too
I closed my eyes, preparing for my throat to be cut open but then I heard a howling noise coming from outside the church
“Fuck. It’s those werewolf slags. Another time Daddy Satan, we promise” said the girl I was meant to take out.
All three turned into bats and flew away. Then two large werewolves entered the church and ran towards me. Again I closed my eyes, this time preparing for my throat to be bitten open instead of cut open but I felt the ropes loosen and when I opened my eyes, there was two more girls, one standing in front of me, the other to my side
“You’re lucky we sniffed them out or you’d be dead” said the one standing in front of me
“So you two are werewolves?” I asked
“Yep”
“And werewolves don’t kill humans”
Nope”
“Okay then”
I stood up from the chair I was tied to, thanked the two wolf girls and then walked home wondering what the fuck just happened.