Before we start, let me just say, I know I screwed up. Trust me, I know. I made some stupid decisions, and the only thing I can really say in my defense is that I was desperate, and at the time, it seemed like my only option. Obviously, now, I wish I’d done things differently. Hindsight, you know? Also, I apologize if this is a bit scattered. I haven’t slept in days, so I might be a bit punchy. Anyway, I think that is probably enough excuses for now, so let me begin.
It all started when I saw the advertisement. It was the type you have probably seen a thousand times, but never really makes an impression. You know, the type that promises a ridiculous sum of money for just a few hours’ work? They are always scams, because of course they are, no one pays that kind of money for, well, anything, these days. Let alone for something quick and easy. Any other time, I would have looked at the ad promising $5,000 for a day’s work, laughed, and forgotten about it immediately. But, as I said, I was desperate. I had lost my job a couple of months before and I wasn’t having much luck finding anything permanent to replace it. I had burned through my savings, was behind on my rent and I was about to be evicted from my apartment. I would say I was about to be living in my car, but I didn’t have a car, so I was just going to be on the streets. Even if I found another job, rent had risen so much that I would never be able to find another apartment I could afford. That 5k could at least let me catch up, buy me some time. Also, I reasoned, so what if it was a scam. It wasn’t like I even had anything to steal, at this point. So, I decided to go to the address and see what happened. What did I have to lose?
The specified location was in a strip mall on the edge of town. I signed some confidentiality paperwork and did whatever they asked of me. Which turned out to be some pretty intense medical testing. They drew blood, did ultrasounds, X-rays, took an MRI, an EKG, an EEG, and several other tests I can’t remember the names, or purposes, of. It was a little bit uncomfortable and took all day, but otherwise it wasn’t really that big a deal. And in the end, I got my 5 grand, in cash. No tricks, no sales pitch, nothing. When I left, I told the receptionist I would return for the same offer any time. They assured me my number was on file, but I didn’t get the impression that I would ever hear from them again. I was curious about the purpose of the testing, of course, but I had other things to distract me at the time, and it wasn’t long before the whole strange event was nothing but a weird anecdote that I told to get free drinks at the bar.
Unfortunately, that one lucky break seemed to exhaust my supply. I finally managed to get a job in a hotel kitchen, but it didn’t pay much, so I was just barely scraping by. I started to wonder if this was all life would ever be for me. Just running as fast as I could, only to stay in the same place? Why even bother? I wanted something to change. Needed something to change. And that was when I got the call.
“Hello?”
“Hello, is this Cassandra Reynolds?”
“Yes… Who is this?”
“I am from the Clinic. Calling about your test results.”
“Test results? What test…? Oh, that! I… wasn’t really expecting results.”
“We’d like to discuss them with you, in person. Can you come down to the Clinic?”
“Oh… ok, sure.”
I don’t know why I even agreed. Honestly, I didn’t have time to travel all the way out there for nothing, but I guess I was nervous about whatever my ‘results’ might be. They had done a lot of medical testing, and I hadn’t been to any other kind of doctor for years. I was afraid it might be bad news. So, I caught the bus down to the strip mall. A man in a lab coat greeted me in the waiting room and escorted me back to the small examination room. I found myself biting my lip, waiting for him to begin.
“It is very nice to meet you, Cassandra. Thank you for coming down today. I am Doctor Carter.”
“On the phone, they said something about my test results. Should I be concerned?” I wasn’t in the mood for small talk.
The doctor laughed,
“No, no, it’s nothing like that. It’s really a good thing.”
“What does that mean, exactly?”
Carter smiled,
“It means that your physiology was found to be highly compatible with our new technology and we would like to offer you the opportunity to be involved in the beta-testing phase.”
“What technology are you talking about?”
“Normally, I would be happy to explain, but in this case, our founder has requested that he be allowed to tell you personally. He’ll be here momentarily.”
As if on cue, I heard a faint thrumming sound that rapidly grew in volume until it was unmistakable: a helicopter was landing in the parking lot. A few moments later a man burst through the door and my jaw dropped. I had seen him before, not in person, of course, but on TV, on the internet, on billboards. Everywhere. Grey Sterling, of Sterling Solutions. I blinked and looked again, but there was no mistaking it, even if it didn’t make any sense. What would a billionaire tech genius be doing in some crummy strip mall off the highway? Noticing my slack jaw, Sterling laughed,
“I bet you are wondering what I am doing here, right? Well, I believe in being hands-on with my projects. I’m not the kind of CEO who rules from an ivory tower, am I, Carter?” The doctor shook his head obediently. “And the project I am here to talk to you about is my baby, so of course I would come in person. You have heard of GreyMatters, correct?”
I nodded slowly. Of course I had heard of it, who hadn’t?
“The brain chip thing, right?”
Sterling smiled condescendingly,
“Yes, the brain chip thing. But it is so much more than that. The GreyMatters neural interface is being developed as the next step in human consciousness, human evolution. As a first step, we aim to allow for enhanced memory and cognition, as well as seamless connectivity to the devices that already serve as an extension to our physical bodies. Imagine being able to supplement your memory with RAM, or to conjure any image you could conceive of, and using our AI interface to bring it to life in a variety of media forms. This will revolutionize every type of art. Just imagine a world where a visionary director could bring a movie to life, exactly as they pictured it, or a writer could create a novel at the speed of thought. And that is just the beginning. This technology is going to change how we interact with each other, and the world, at a fundamental level,” Sterling beamed, seemingly waiting for the applause.
“That sounds pretty good…” I replied, hesitantly. I had already heard the sales pitch on the news. Sterling and that billionaire with the car company had been duking it out over this tech for years now. Most people were honestly a bit sick of hearing about it. “But I don’t understand what that has to do with me.”
“Well, at present, our neural-interface chips are only compatible with a small portion of the population, so we have been examining members of the general public, looking for people who can successfully implant and test the product, while we work on expanding its compatibility to a wider audience,” he flipped on the lightbox at the front of the room, displaying some kind of medical scan I didn’t understand. “Your brainwaves and neural architecture are uniquely compatible with the chip. As such we want to offer you the opportunity to join our beta testing team.”
Perhaps it was the shock of the situation, but all I could think to do was blurt out the first question that came to mind,
“Would I get paid?”
Sterling chuckled,
“Of course. Not too much at first, but we are offering a starting salary of $100,000 a year for as long as you keep the chip implanted. To compensate for your time and risk.”
My eyes widened,
“$100,000?”
“Well, I could be convinced to go as high as $150,000, if that sweetens the pot. We know this will be an imposition. You will likely need to leave your job, and recovery from the surgery will take a month or so. You will be expected to be frequently available for testing and monitoring. There is also strict confidentiality. I understand that is all a lot to ask.”
“I’ll do it,” I blurted, interrupting. “Sign me up. I’ll do anything you need.”
I probably should have hesitated longer, but I didn’t know many people who would have turned this offer down. It was more money than I had ever dreamed of making in my life. And access to free, cutting edge tech on top of it all? Of course, I was going to do it.
“Fantastic!” Sterling clapped his hands. “Carter, get her to sign all the paperwork, we’ll get started right away. The future won’t wait for us, after all.”
He turned and looked me over, his eyes lingering in a way that caused me to doubt my decision for just a moment. Maybe this was a mistake. I hadn’t signed anything yet; I could probably back out. But what else did I have to look forward to in my life? Poverty and soul crushing work until I died? No. Even if there was some risk here, I figured it was still better than the certainty that was my life otherwise. The things I had to lose I would rather see the back of, right? At least, that was what I thought at the time.
Arriving home, I dropped my car keys on the table and sank into my new couch. I was glad to be back in my tiny, shitty apartment. After weeks in the hospital, I was glad to be anywhere else, honestly. I noticed the flaws, of course. It was small, cramped and the hallways smelled like an old bowling bag. But it was comfortable, familiar. And I had done so much to keep the place, I couldn’t help but feel very attached to it. I had changed other things, of course. The money allowed me to get a new car, and I no longer needed to work that shitty restaurant job. Even if I never got any other advantages from the implant, that alone would be worth it. Which was good because I wasn’t really noticing much change in my reflexes or thinking speed. They said it would take time for me to adapt to the implant, and they wouldn’t be activating all the features right away, so I wouldn’t notice the difference, at first. I could type up a Reddit post with just my thoughts though, so that was cool. But other than my phone being anomalously free of fingerprint smudges, there wasn’t much else to report.
Mostly, I was just tired. The doctors said that I was recovering well, but I found that even when I had just slept, I woke up exhausted. I also had the vague sense of having had very vivid dreams, but I couldn’t remember them when I woke. Dr. Carter assured me that was all normal, all just a part of adapting to the implant. He suggested I get plenty of rest and gave me some sedatives to take every night before bed. They only helped so much. Though they did seem to curtail any dreaming, at least. I just hoped that the problem would pass, in time. While I recuperated, I reflected on my future. There were still occasional medical tests and updates to deal with, but other than that, I was at loose ends. I thought I might look into going back to school, use the opportunity to improve my prospects. After all, I doubted Sterling Solutions would just keep paying me forever. But there was no rush, I had plenty of time to decide how my new life was going to unfold. It was nice to have that luxury.
It was about a week later that I first suspected something might be wrong. I woke up one morning to find that the cuffs of my pajama pants were wet. I could feel the dampness against my ankles, but I still reached down to touch them with my hands, just to be sure. They were soaked, like I had waded through a shallow pool, or stepped into the bathtub while I was still dressed. I looked everywhere but could find no leaks in my apartment that could explain it. It was raining out, but I couldn’t see any way it could have gotten inside. It bothered me, but I chalked it up to my exhaustion. Perhaps I had gone to the bathroom, half-asleep, and spilled or splashed some water. It didn’t entirely make sense, but I couldn’t think of any other explanation, so I pushed it out of my head. The problem was it didn’t stop. A few days a week, I would wake up with strange bruises, or stains on my clothes, one time I was even wearing different pajamas than I remembered going to sleep in. I told Dr. Carter, but he didn’t seem worried, saying it was all part of adapting to the implant, and occasional lapses of memory or sleepwalking were normal in the beginning. I just needed to give it time. I trusted him, of course, but I did feel a bit nervous about wandering my neighborhood in the middle of the night, unaware. So, to set my mind at ease, I started cuffing my wrist to my bed at night and looking into techniques to help me remember my dreams. I figured, if I could remember what I was dreaming about, maybe I could figure out why I was suddenly sleepwalking.
I followed all the standard advice from the internet, I even started to keep a dream journal, like people suggested, but it didn’t help much. I could remember snatches of things, but nothing that helped my understanding. Walking, driving, lying on the exam table at the Clinic. Ordinary, mundane things. Weeks passed and I was getting frustrated with my lack of progress; my dream journal remained mostly empty. Then, I remembered that the dreams had seemed more vivid before I started taking those pills. Maybe that was the key. I considered asking Dr. Carter about it, but figured he would just think I was crazy, so instead I just stopped taking them. At first, nothing really changed, but I stayed the course, figuring it would take some time for the medication to clear my system. And finally, things started to change, but not for the better. I found myself waking up in the mornings with my heart beating out of my chest, a crushing dread paralyzing me. In the moment between sleep and wakefulness I seemed to know, with perfect clarity, the source of my fear. But the memory only lasted an instant. It was ephemeral, nothing but a handful of smoke that dissipated whenever I tried to grasp it tighter. The experience was so unpleasant that I considered going back on the pills, but I was too close to an answer to turn back now. I was sure that once I knew the source of my terror, I would finally be able to sleep peacefully. So, I pressed on.
It paid off a few nights later, when I suddenly found myself in a sort of lucid dream. It was a strange sensation; I felt like I was still inside myself, but trapped somewhere deeper inside, just watching my body act on its own. I was lying in my bed; I saw my arm raise and heard the handcuffs jangle.
“What the hell?” I heard my voice mutter. “How long is this bitch going to keep doing this?”
My other hand groped over the nightstand until it found the key and released the cuff.
“Jesus,” I heard myself say. “Isn’t waking up in this shithole bad enough without having to deal with this all of the time?”
My body rose from the bed and headed for the front door, grabbing my coat and keys with practiced ease, as it did. I got a bit scared when it climbed behind the wheel of my car. It seemed risky if I actually was sleepwalking, rather than just dreaming, but there didn’t seem to be much I could do about it either way, all I could do was watch. My body and I drove through the town. It was a better driver than I expected, though it was speeding more than seemed reasonable. I was glad the roads were mostly empty this time of night. Finally, we arrived at the destination my body had chosen. It was the Clinic at the edge of town. It parked the car and walked to the door. I was certain it would be locked at this hour, and my body would be forced to turn back, but to my surprise, Dr. Carter opened the door immediately. He didn’t even seem surprised; he just silently ushered me inside. Dream logic, I supposed. Once the door was closed, he looked me over,
“How is it?” he asked.
I tried to answer, to ask him what was going on, but the words that came from my mouth weren’t mine. “It’s disgusting, honestly. It’s bad enough I have to wake up in that hovel, on sheets that might as well be in sandpaper, inside this…” my eyes looked down at my body and I felt my lip curl in disgust. “But she had herself cuffed herself to the bed, again. I will never understand these people.”
“She thinks she has been sleepwalking. You haven’t been very careful about leaving things the way you found them in the mornings. I warned you about that.”
“Who cares?” I heard myself scoff. “What is she going to do about it?”
“If anyone finds out about this, we could be in…”
“Relax,” my voice cut him off. “I can take care of anything that comes up. What I need from you is to know if you have found any other compatible bodies. I am testing this one out, like you suggested, but honestly it leaves a lot to be desired.”
Carter shook his head,
“She is still the best match, the only one whose brainwaves and neural architecture are able to mesh with yours. You remember what happened when we tried the others.”
I felt myself shudder,
“Yeah, no need for a repeat of that. Still, I don’t know how she could be my only option. Surely my brain is far superior to this…”
“It doesn’t work like that,” Carter interrupted wearily, clearly repeating something he had said many times. “As we have already discussed, brainwave patterns are not dependent on…”
“Whatever, I don’t care. Just bottom line it for me, Carter.”
“Bottom line is, of all the subjects we have tested, this is the only one you can transfer into like this. We might find others, given more time, but I am not sure how much more time you have. We might need to make a choice now, if you want time to set things up properly. It can’t happen overnight.”
“I know that,” my voice snapped, then I sighed. “Alright, fine. I guess we have no options. I owe it to humanity to make this sacrifice for them. Even if they can never know what I have done, to save them.”
“Sacrifice, sir?”
“What else would you call it? You see, Carter, this world needs me, and people like me. Visionaries, leaders. We are the ones who will forge the future. There is more I can do for the world before I die; more I must do. And if that means I need to take on this… inferior form, for a time, well that is a sacrifice I will make for humanity.”
“Very noble, sir,” Carter replied.
“In fact, perhaps it is for the best that it is someone like this, someone… insignificant,” my voice continued. “Even if I would prefer a more suitable body, at least I won’t be cutting short a worthwhile life. I mean, what was she really doing with her time, anyway? Washing dishes? Waiting tables? No big loss there. People like this are a dime a dozen. Really, I am doing her a favor.”
“How so, sir?”
“Well, at least she will get a brief period of luxury, of relevance, before the end. And at least her miserable life will end up benefiting society. In death, she will finally meaningfully contribute. She certainly wasn’t going to do it any other way.”
I was sure I must be dreaming, now. It wouldn’t be the first time I had dreamed about how useless I was, how I was wasting my life. This was a strange twist on that nightmare, to be sure, but that was probably to be expected. The neural implant was a major change, why wouldn’t my dreams center around it?
“So, are you going to make the announcement?” Carter asked.
“Yes,” I sighed. “I will announce it tomorrow.”
“You’ll need to clear it with the subject first, right?”
“Yeah, sure. Whatever. What is she going to do, refuse?” I heard myself laugh.
“I can’t imagine she will,” Carter replied. “Alright, if we are committed to this, I want to run a few more tests, so go lay down.”
I felt myself sit on the edge of the exam table, and at that point, things started to get fuzzy. I must have fallen into a deeper sleep because the dream faded.
When I woke in the morning, the unsettling dream still fresh in my mind, the first thing I did was check the handcuff. It was still locked to my bedframe. I laughed. I was being ridiculous; it had just been a very strange dream. Still, I looked myself over to be sure, but nothing was out of the ordinary. I reached for my dream journal to chronicle the events of the night, which were already beginning to fade from my mind again, but a knock at my door interrupted me. I threw on some clothes and headed to the door. Looking through the peephole, I saw the last thing I ever expected. Grey Sterling. Here. I opened it, what else could I do?
“Good morning, Miss Reynolds. I trust you slept well?”
“Y-Yes, I suppose,” I stammered.
“Very good. Very good. Now isn’t a bad time, I hope?”
“Of course not, I am at your disposal. I just can’t believe you are here.”
“I told you; this project is very important to me. You could say it is my way of… achieving immortality. I am very invested in its outcome. It is not just the future of my company, but of humanity itself. So, you can understand my interest, I hope?”
I nodded.
“Good. I am here because your results so far have been exemplary. Better than we could have expected. Soon enough, the enhancements to your intellect will be brought on line, and you will become a superior specimen of humanity, I have no doubt. As such, I have decided that you are the only one fit to carry on my legacy, to carry on the work we are doing with GreyMatters. So, I want to name you my heir and successor. If you agree, I will make the announcement today.”
I swallowed hard. Announcement. Make the announcement. It hadn’t been a dream. Oh god. Sterling stared at me, expectantly.
“I… I don’t know what to say. It’s all… too hard to believe.”
“I know this is a big decision. But this could give you a whole new life. A better life.”
I tried hard not to look like I was hyperventilating,
“Yeah. Yeah. It sure could. Could I… could I maybe have a bit of time to think about it?”
Sterling smiled tightly,
“Certainly,” he removed a card from his jacket pocket. “Here is my private number. Take all the time you need and call me when you are ready.”
I thanked him and promised I would call in a few hours, once I had time to reflect on my ‘new life’. He left and I watched from my window as he climbed into a fancy, chauffeur-driven car and left.
My hands clutched his card, shaking. This couldn’t be real. These things didn’t happen. Not outside of an alien invasion movie. Maybe it was just a coincidence. Was that possible? What I needed to know was if he was really dying. They couldn’t have kept it a complete secret, could they? Sterling was one of the most famous men in the world. Surely some gossip would have leaked out, even if they tried to hush it up. So, I got on the internet and started searching. Hoping I would find nothing. Praying I would. The mainstream media sites revealed nothing unusual, unsurprisingly. However, some of the less scrupulous celebrity gossip sites told a different story, and the conspiracy theory sites were a hotbed of partially believable intrigue. There were candid shots of Grey Sterling in a hospital gown, with headlines about his terminal diagnosis. What that diagnosis was, exactly, varied. Cancer, a neurological disease, a rare blood disorder. They all said he had only months to live.
I knew that the details probably weren’t accurate, but that part didn’t really matter. What mattered was it made sense. It hadn’t been a dream. What I had seen really happened, and I really hadn’t been in control of myself, at the time. Sterling was dying and he wanted a new body to replace his own. My body. He would name me as his successor, put everything in place, legally, then he would replace himself. And me. What could I even do to stop him? The chip was already in my brain, and he could take over any time he wanted, whether I played along with his plans or not. Well, perhaps not any time. Based on my experience, it seemed like he only took over when I was asleep. I hoped that was a necessary condition, not just a preference. It was really the only hope I had. Even then, it wasn’t much hope. How could I hide from a man like Grey Sterling, when his life and legacy depended on finding me? I didn’t know, I still don’t, all I knew was if I was going to have any chance at all, I needed to escape. Before he took permanent control.
It’s been four days now, since I left my entire life behind and went on the run. I haven’t slept. Can’t sleep. I am still trying to find someone who can remove the chip, but this is experimental technology, and I can’t risk going to anyone connected with GreyMatters. I am slowly coming to realize that, if it is even possible to get it removed, it will take time, time I probably don’t have. Caffeine pills are already barely enough, and I am going to have to find something stronger, soon. How long can a person go without sleep? I know they are out looking for me. It is only a matter of time before I’m either found or doze off. So, I guess in part I am posting this as a warning. If Sterling can’t find me, he will need another compatible host. Do not get that chip, no matter what he offers you. But more than that, I guess… I just want someone to know what happened to me. What will happen to me. If I am gone tomorrow, erased like I never was, I want someone to know that the person they will see on the news isn’t me. I want someone to remember that, as insignificant as I may be, I once was. And if that someone is you, thank you.