See, I know what it is. I have always known and it has taken a great deal for me to get to this point. So don’t kneel there and act like you didn’t see it coming. I have told you. I have warned you. Look at me! Look at me and tell me in your heart of hearts that you wouldn’t do this. There are things in life that men should not do and what you did…what you did is, you have fucked with my treasure.
You are here dumbfounded and quiet. You had a wife and you still have your daughter with you. Why fuck with me like this? You see, I have two daughters that you act like are your family now. I can’t forgive their mother but shit, she gave me two beautiful girls. And you, you were that fucking guy that she told me not to worry about. You were the reason for those late nights and work deadline bullshit. I just sat at home waiting and keeping my anger in check. Nevermind that I saw through it. But deceit is deceit. It is one of those things that drive a person to do insane things.
You have until I finish these 3 cigarettes I have left and it will be lights out for both of us. No, I don’t want to keep myself around for that bitch to tell me I am a horrible person or that I traumatized my girls. Or took you away from yours. You should have kept your piece in check, in your pants. You had your family when I was losing mine. You are the reason that I was losing mine. Don’t you fucking utter a word. Those gashes in your head, they won’t hurt in a few minutes. Let me just vent out my anger. This is kind of picture perfect you see. You have that noose around your neck and I have the other end. It will be poetic. Just two guys, just a murder-homicide and I hope she gets to read about it and feel something. God fucking knows she doesn’t take any responsibility.
All those fake jealousies over shit I wasn’t doing, while she was out fucking you and you saying some bullshit sweet nothings in her ear. I find out about it after being miserable for 3 fucking years. 3 fucking years!!! Listen to me you fuckface. You and I are going to die and look here, I have 2 more cigarettes left.
Let me give you a lecture in hopes that there is some afterlife where you can think it over. I had nothing. Then I met this beautiful girl. I have always loved her. It took ten years for us to actually get the chance to see each other as something other than friends. We spoke all the time about starting a family. Our oldest was born and there turned on a light in my life. I was happy and I hope that she was happy as well. But after being put through all the shit that she pulled, I am not sure if she was ever happy. Our youngest was born a couple of years before she started working with you.
I was maybe down on my luck but I was always a father and I always tried to be a husband. It is of course difficult when guys that don’t have to deal with our life and our struggles are saying all the good things and buying all the lunches and flowers. Meanwhile, I am at home with the kids in my pajamas and working from home. I saw all the signs. The unanswered phone calls, the late nights and her smelling of alcohol at least two times a week.
Come to find out, there is this guy at her work and I keep hearing things, but oh no, he is married with a little girl about our oldest daughter’s age. He is a good guy and he is just helping out because the work is stressful. I am such a fool but love makes one like that. Oblivious to bullshit. But even then I endured. I took it like a man that I was taught to be. To not make such a fuss and endure, because family is important. All the screaming she did with that courage juice in her. All that outright physical violence. I remained silent when I was accused of being a wife-beater by her friends and family when I did nothing but take the abuse.
There came a breaking point and I just packed up and left. I was not going to be a punching bag and I knew that I had the right to happiness. I had my daughters even though it was only on the weekends. See if you had not fucked with my girls, you would have been ok. But to have them refer to you as their father? As their father? No, no. That is not going to go down my throat. So that is why this is happening to you. I am going to jump from here and you are going to come down with me. Well, the last cigarette is out. Let’s go.
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“Yes, sir. We got a call to do a welfare check. Yeah, it is a guy in his mid 30s. He hung himself in his apartment. No, there are no notes.”