A few years ago, I caved. I was out of breath constantly. I hadn’t seen my toes in years, and I was sick of it. Most people go upstairs, forget why they went up then go back down. I had to have a 10-minute break at the top of the stairs just to recover from the climb. I was not happy. I’d tried everything, calories in calories out, exercising, fad diets, you name it I’ve tried it. After finishing off a bucket of chicken one night, I was just browsing the internet as you do. A bit of social media, some videos, and as sometimes happens, I ended up going down a rabbit hole. Before I realised it, I was looking at Amazonian weight loss plants.
I’d tried these before, most are just glorified laxatives, the rest give you a fever and diminish your appetite. Then I saw it. The ad that changed my life. You’ve all probably seen them, “Doctors hate him”, “I lost 12 stone in 2 weeks” kind of ad. Normally, I’d ignore them, but this one just felt different. “How I made eating my superpower” it said, with a toned half-naked man doing a one-armed pullup. I don’t know whether it was the text, or that grin he had with a twinkle in his eyes, but I gave in. I clicked the link. It took me to a basic looking form, name, date of birth, ideal body, that’s all it asked for. I remember vividly how simple it looked; it was just a web form. Pure reckless abandon spurred me on, what was the worst that could happen?
I awoke the next day, unable to remember even going to bed. Getting out of bed that day was like a weight had been lifted, literally. My mirror showed an image of an attractive young man, toned with abs but not overly muscular, a chiselled jawline where my jowls were and shimmering green eyes starkly contrasted hazel eyes. It worked. I stood there for an hour, just staring at this image of perfection. My image of perfection. My hands traced the outlines of muscles I didn’t even know the names of. I was perfect. When I finally dared to move, not convinced this wasn’t all a dream, I instantly took a selfie. Not to sound vain but I had to share this immediately. I video called my parents, once I assured them it was me; the elation at my dramatic weight loss was evident. They always said they’d support me as best they can, but to see the results was unbelievable for them.
After a quick catchup, I hung up, planning to start doing the activities I wouldn’t have dreamt of before. I messaged my most active friend, Steve, to see if he wanted to do anything physical, cycling, hiking whatever as I could now do it. As the tick appeared, a chime filled my ears. I had an email, from an unknown sender.
Thank you for signing up for our weight loss plan,
We’ve provided you a free sample to get you started. By revealing your new self, you’ve subscribed to our annual package.
See you next year.
No links or details, so I ignored it and continued with my life. I went cycling with Steve and when he, or anyone else, brought up my transformation I just replied with “hard work and dedication.” No-one seemed to bat an eye that it happened inhumanly fast. Instead, my friends were all happy for me.
The next year flew by, I used my new body to succeed, from running races to getting promotions, I felt great. My confidence was at an all-time high. I’d met my perfect soulmate, Amelia, and was planning to propose. Amelia was everything I’d become and more, we often went on runs together, learnt how to surf on our first holiday.
When a not unexpected email dropped into my inbox.
Your subscription is due for renewal, to continue with your subscription please fill in the form below
The form was the same as the previous year, name, date of birth and ideal body. I showed it to Amelia, she burst into hysterics. “Surely you’re not going to fall for this, it’s clearly a scam.” Blushing at the gullibility of my previous self, I ignored it.
I awoke suddenly, my alarm clock, whilst temporarily too bright, read 12:01. My head lulled to the side, and I found myself unable to move it. In fact, I was unable to move anything, as this realisation dawned upon me, I could hear Amelia’s deep breathing next to me.
I could hear movement though in the corner of the room I was stuck looking at. A slender man in surgeon’s scrubs with a facemask slid into view. A slither of streetlight reflected briefly off a scalpel. He turned my bedside lamp to its dimmest setting and got to work. The first slice through my chest was the worst. The hot searing pain etched itself onto my mind. I couldn’t see what he was doing but I could feel every delicate incision, he started with the stomach. Slowly detaching it from everything inside, then a sharp yank as it was removed and the feeling of emptiness seeping into the void it filled. My breath caught in my throat as my windpipe was separated from my lungs, I was left in between breaths unable to exhale or inhale as the pain intensified from the cutting before the next yank, my lungs were dangled in front of me. To ensure I witnessed what he was doing to my once perfect body. The sight of them alongside the immensely visceral pain made me pass out, I was thankful for this small mercy.
When I awoke, a sharpness caught my ribs. Woken by my grunt of pain, Amelia turned over in bed and screamed. “Who the fuck are you?! Get the fuck out!” I sprinted to the mirror, a sinking feeling growing deep within me. I was back to being me. Plain old, “out of breath from using stairs” me.
My scars, my flaws had all come back as though the last year didn’t happen. I flew to my phone, checking my emails. 1 unread.
Sorry to see you go.
I managed to assure Amelia it was me; memories were massively important in that. Nothing can replace memories. I haven’t seen anyone else encounter this online, but every time I start losing weight and getting in shape, a month later I’ve lost all progress. Not like I lose motivation, as in I wake up and all the weight I’ve lost is back. I’m eternally stuck being fat. Amelia has got used to it, but I can tell she resents it, I’m no longer able to do all the active things we did together. I feel our spark is gone. I just want to get it back, I’ll do anything to lose the weight and get fit, has anyone else ever experienced this?