I don’t know how I’m able to tell but I no longer feel a connection to myself. I’ve always thought my dreams were windows into other realities. I kept coming back to one, and I would stay and watch over and over again.
I was the same person, same family, same kid, same house, same everything. The only difference is her husband had turned physically abusive. Also her sister, had finally had a baby. She would fight with her husband constantly ( and I can’t say that I didn’t fight with mine on occasion but it was never that bad), while their son would hide in the kitchen.
I’ve felt more connected to her when CERN restarted back in April, and they apparently saw another shift in timelines happening but told no one. I could tell she felt more connected to me. We both work from home and have our kids 24/7. It’s a highly stressful situation for both parties, as we decided to work from home to save on the cost of daycare, but somedays the boys can just be to much.
Like her husband, mine doesn’t help much with the kid. When he comes home from work he just sits in his seat while she makes dinner, takes care of her child, cleans the house, and makes sure everything is in place for the next day.
I texted my husband this morning talking about how I thought our son should go back to daycare as the company I work for is getting upset that they can hear him in the background of phone calls. When he blamed me for us not being able to save anymore money, I finally let him know exactly how I felt about these last couple of months.
We haven’t been happy at all. There is no sex, he sleeps on the couch, he doesn’t talk to me unless he wants to talk first and if I try to respond, he acts as if he’s annoyed. So I finally told him I was done and wanted nothing else to do with him.
I guess she must have done the same on her side. I could tell something as wrong. I felt fear. Enough fear to make me want to grab the 9mm I have tucked away in a shelf my son can’t reach. Enough fear to visibly shake.
As I was sitting at my computer desk, I felt a jerk, a sharp pain, and then nothingness. It felt like everything let go in that moment. Like every breath I had ever been holding onto suddenly released and I was free.
I could no longer feel my other side. I thought I was just tired, so I nodded off in my office chair which is highly unlike me (maybe it was her slowly dying, maybe her slowly bleeding out or something). I had never been this tired just sitting behind a desk and I knew something was horribly wrong.
She was gone. The other me. She had died at the hands of her husband. That fear must have been him coming through the door, in an angry rage. I had recently begun to fear death, now that fear is gone and I can only think it was her trying to merge back onto this timeline. To get away from the monster she was with.
He murdered her because she wanted better for herself and her son. I want the same but am now to afraid to say anything. When I go to sleep tonight, I hope to see her, but I know I won’t because she’s gone and I’m mourning the closest timeline me I’ve ever been connected to.