“He’s doing it because he likes you”
That’s what they always say, isn’t it? It’s what my mom said when I came home crying with sand in my eyes from being suddenly pushed down. It’s what the daycare worker said when I told her that he had chased me around, trying to put bugs into my hair. It’s what his dad said when I came to his house to get my DS back after he stole it. That’s the explanation given for Noah’s life mission to make me as miserable as possible. That’s such bullshit, isn’t it?
I’d never done anything to him, in fact, I wanted to be his friend when he moved to the neighborhood. For some reason, he didn’t like me at all, but weirdly enough he sought me out. It wasn’t just a “girls have cooties” kid thing either, he kept it up. Through middle school and high school, he was a constant, headache-inducing presence in my life. By senior year, Noah was the most popular guy in the whole school. It made sense in theory, his family was rich, he was on the varsity track team and apparently, he threw the best parties.
No one seemed to mind him terrorizing me every day, maybe it was because they knew they’d be next if they did mind. Not even the teachers did anything, their reason being that he and his friend had never actually hurt me. I wasn’t beat up every day, but they made me run their errands and forced me to go along as their designated driver when they went out into the woods to drink expensive booze stolen from Noah’s parents. I guess the staff treating it like it was no big deal made me think it’d be best to ride it out. No, he never hit me, but it felt like he’d scrapped out everything inside me, leaving an empty shell. Noah had been breaking me down since we were kids.
I didn’t have friends because of that, no one wanted to risk being servant number two. I had people that I talked to in school, but my calendar was blank on weekends and vacations. I focused on studying, having set my sights on a college in another state. I’d gotten my acceptance letter; it was my ticket away from Noah and his friends. There was three days left until prom, three days until I’d finally be free.
The town library was one of the places where I could have peace.
“Hey Anne, come to return everything?” Oliver asked as I approached the counter, carrying a stack of books. He worked at the library; he was my age but went to a school in the next town over. We got along well, we’d talk about books and school, it was fun, he made the library feel safe. I’ll admit, I liked him a little bit.
“Yeah, I’ll be off to college soon, I’d rather not rake up a library debt”, I said, placing the books down.
“Me too, college I mean, it’ll be weird not seeing each other, I’ll…miss you a lot”, Oliver said, averting his gaze like he was nervous. I felt my face heat up and not because of the broken air conditioner.
“I’ll miss you too, two-person book club wouldn’t be the same without you”, I spoke. I wanted to slap myself for saying something so dumb. Oliver finally looked at me, fidgeting with his necklace.
“I know there’s no music, flowers or signs but…I was wondering if you wanted to go to prom with me?” He said quietly. My heart pounded in my ears, like it was about to burst out of my chest and cartoonishly dance on the counter. I wanted to, I wasn’t even planning on going to prom, my brain was working overtime. I didn’t even have a dress! But my excitement dulled, the reason why I didn’t want to go was bearing his signature smile in my mind. Noah would probably drag me to countless sketchy parties, and if Oliver was with me, who knows what would happen to him?
Noah never hurt me, but it wasn’t a coincidence that the guy who also wanted to be track captain broke his leg, I just knew it wasn’t.
Oliver spoke up, I’d probably been quiet for a while. “We’d go to your prom, of course, I wouldn’t want you to-“, I perked up, that was perfect.
“I’d love to go! Can we go to your school’s prom? Punch-spiking is basically a tradition at mine, and it has not ended well”, I said, smiling in relief. Oliver smiled brightly back, I almost felt the need to put my sunglasses on.
“Sure! I can’t wait, what color is your dress?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck. I looked down at my blue t-shirt.
“It’s blue…”, I answered, making a mental note to look for a blue dress.
“I’ll get a matching tie, here’s my number by the way”, he said, scribbling down on a sticky note. I took the paper, placing it safely in my pocket. Oliver’s shift was over, we said our goodbyes as he left the library. I heard footsteps behind me, someone had been behind a bookshelf the whole time.
“Blue? That’s not your color, I think green suits you better, do you really want to miss your prom for that nerd school?”, a familiar, headache-inducing voice spoke. I turned around to see Noah leaned against the bookshelf, he usually avoided the library like the plague. Normally, I wouldn’t say anything, I’d leave as soon as I could, not wanting to breathe the same air as him for a second more.
But the happiness bubbling inside me was overwriting everything else, I’d have the best night of my life in just three days and after that, I’d be miles away from Noah. I said what I felt, for the first time in years.
“There’s nothing you can say to ruin this, in 72 hours, you won’t mean a thing to me, I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, because we’re done here”, I spat, walking hastily out of the library. I expected him to follow me, to yell an insult back, but he was completely silent.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but that was the worst way he could have reacted.
I never played any sports, but now I wanted to give the coach some farewell flowers for organizing one last practice. My mom had borrowed Noah’s mom’s blender and I had to return it. It would have been awkward to see Noah again after what I had said. I didn’t have a clue how Noah came from his mom; she was nicer than a care bear. Hence why I was persuaded to come inside for a glass of lemonade.
“You’ve grown up so pretty, Anne! I’ve always wanted a daughter, but having Noah convinced me that one was enough!” The woman laughed. I swirled my straw, listening to the ice clinking against the glass, I gave a strained smile. At least Noah was consistently annoying. “I guess you could only ever be my daughter-in-law-“she started, but I quickly cut her off by standing up. The rest of that sentence would probably make my ears bleed.
“May I use your bathroom?” I quickly asked, the woman nodded and pointed upstairs. I hurried so much that I didn’t realize that she hadn’t specified which door it was. I tried my luck and opened one, it was Noah’s room, judging by the track medals.
A normal person would just have closed the door, but I opened it wider. The guy had made my school life a lonely hell, I felt like I deserved to have a peek at his room. It was surprisingly clean and organized, like a room you’d see in a furniture ad.
I was almost disappointed by the normalcy, but I found one thing that stood out. It was the yearbook, but there were a few colorful page markers sticking out. I picked up the book and flipped to the marked spots, I expected it to be of friends, but what I found make my stomach twist. The marked pages all had me on them.
There was my senior picture and club photo, but he had even marked pictures with me in the background.
I went home, saying that my mom had called.
Oliver had ditched me; he had gone on a college tour that was supposed to only last a day and he hadn’t come home. All I did was check my phone, hoping he’d text me that he was on his way. He had stopped responding that morning, I was hoping for a miracle. The blue dress I loved so much when I bought it felt scratchy and suffocating. I was sitting in my room on prom night, like I had planned originally.
A knock, there was a knock at the door. I zipped down the stairs and threw open the front door. I expected to see Oliver with his dimpled smile and blue tie. The sight that greeted me was straight out of one of my nightmares.
Noah stood of my doorstep, wearing a tuxedo, and holding a corsage, his tie was blue, the exact same shade as my dress. His eyes on me felt like they were burning holes through my body.
“You clean up nice, sorry it doesn’t really match”, he held out the corsage, expecting me to stick out my wrist. The large orange begonias on the band hurt my eyes, I looked behind him instead. His convertible stood parked outside, it was empty.
This wasn’t a prank to show off to his friends, Noah was seriously asking, or rather forcing, me to go to prom with him.
I rubbed my temple, my head was pulsing, this combined with being stood up was too much.
“I can’t believe it; you actually did all of that because you liked me? You need a better grasp on reality if you thought there was chance, I’d say yes, either I’m dreaming or this is a joke because I can’t imagine that anyone is stupid enough to think that”, I said.
It was all crumbling down now, the feelings I’d bottled up in those years of being passive had boiled over. I slammed the door, or I tried to, but Noah kept it open with his grip. His cocky grin had melted away, revealing a cold expression. I felt shivers down my spine, something in him had snapped too.
“I don’t understand, you don’t have anyone else, I spent years making sure that you didn’t”, he put a hand on his chin, like he was the confused one. “You have no friends no social life, I’m all you can depend on, so why won’t you like me back?” He hummed in thought.
I took a step back from the door, something was off, Noah wasn’t making any sense. “Your mom’s not even here for her daughter’s prom! I’m the only one who ever thinks about you”, he spoke lowly, it felt like an earthquake when he took a step into the house.
“Oliver did…”, I said, trying to prove him wrong by naming the guy who ditched me.
I just wanted to prove him wrong and, unfortunately, I did that.
Noah laughed, it was cold and joyless.
“The library boy? The one who’s probably banging a college girl right now?” He kept laughing, now he sounded amused. He took a step forward, I walked backwards, looking around for something, anything to defend myself with.
“How the hell do you know he’s at a college?” I asked, none of this made any sense, he couldn’t have known. Noah gave an exaggerated sigh and reached into the pocket of his tux. He pulled out a familiar item, Oliver’s necklace. He threw it on the floor in front of me, like it was an offering.
“Well, I guess we’re being honest, I was at the same tour, we all went swimming and it’d be pretty hard to think about someone when you’re at the bottom of a lake”, he stated, walking towards me. Noah was annoying, but I thought there was no way he’d ever kill someone. But as he walked over the necklace, I could see the look in his eyes clearly. There was no teasing edge, he wouldn’t suddenly reveal that he was messing with me and drive off.
Just because he liked me, he killed someone.
I felt around on the table next to me, picking up something cold, my body moved on its own, my brain was drowning in my headache. Noah yelled out when what I was holding was lodged into his thigh, I used this to run past him and out to his car, the keys were still in. Noah barged out of my house, a letter opener sticking out of his leg, his dress pants were damp with blood. I hopped in, turned the key, and floored the gas pedal.
I’m not sure how far he chased me, not even a track captain can run far after being stabbed.
I don’t know where to go from here, he left his wallet in his car and there’s enough cash to last me a few nights at a motel. I’ll run out soon though and no doubt he’s already reported the car stolen. I’m disgusted at everyone’s indifference, or even excitement, at how Noah treated me. He didn’t like me, that’s not why he did it. What he feels can’t be described like a teenage rosy crush, he is obsessed.
Well, I doubt he still thinks fondly of me, I did stab him. But he deserved it, I’m not going to just be fine with this anymore. He’s going to find me and he’s going to be alone, and that will be his biggest mistake.
I’m not stooping to his level; I’m bringing him back down there.
I’m doing it because I hate him.