The memory still lingers at the back of my mind. Fresh as a it was the day it happened. Honestly, I wish I did more.
Grief,grief drives people crazy. They lose themselves. People turn to different things to escape to feel something else and others cling to what they have lost. Matt, Matt lost it completely. Its been 2 years,and I’m finally ready to tell people what happened.
Matt and Alice where the best couple I was blessed enough to know. He was my younger brother,fresh out of university and landed his dream job. I could never be more prouder. Their relationship was something to marvel. They lived in a tiny apartment, small enough for 2 people but big enough to be called a home. The first few months were the best of their lives, I knew because Matt made it his job to remind me in video calls and Instagram posts.
Death loomed over their livelihood, and tradegy struck without any notice. Alice got involved in a freak accident that left her body mangled beyond recognition. Have you ever seen someone break before your eyes. Lose purpose lose every reason every ounce to stay alive. It hits you like a freight train.
The news came from my mom, we hardly spoke. Since i was the black sheep, Matt was the only one who kept in touch. The phone vibrated in my pocket, my hands wet from doing the dishes, I tried pulling it out and it slipped. After some times i managed to pick it up. There was a text pop up from my mother which read “Call Me Asap”. I quickly dialed her number, with only three rings she picked up. “Uhmm wassup?” I asked her, she took a deep breath “Alice is dead, your brother doesn’t want to come home” just like that. My stomach sank, thoughts racing through my head “Wha- what happened?” ,she paused before responding “Some sort of freak accident I don’t know” I hung up and packed my backpack. It was a 4 hour drive to his place.
On the way I kept thinking about what he must be going through, I gripped the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles throbbed. By the time I reached his place it was already sunset. I braced myself foe what might happen next. His door was unlocked, I pushed through the door “Matt, hey bud” I could only make out his silhouette in the dark dingy place.
He sat on the floor with his head resting on the arm of the couch, I fumbled for the light switch and the room was illuminated in brightness. He flinched, Alice’s picture in hand drowning in tears. The scenery broke my heart, he was pale, a dreary look on his face the place covered in dust and flies buzzed on the sandwich that was half eaten. I went over and held him tight, he sobbed in my arms until he fell asleep. When he woke up I had tidy the place and fixed him something to eat. He only took one look at it and left for the bathroom, “I left the water running for you. You can take a bath while you in there”, no response. The next few days is when things started getting weird. We only passed each other timing around his apartment.
Matt started whispering, humming this tune I couldn’t place but was quite familiar. Crazy thing is, someone was whispering back and humming with him. I’m not a superstitious guy so I paid no mind to it. I had paused my life to come and be with my brother. See Alice wasn’t just any girl. She was the girl who punched his bully for messing with him. Thats how deep it was. So I kinda understood what he was going to.
“Dude, are we gonna talk or not?” He raised a brow and nodded “What’s happening with you? What happened? How are you? Did you open a Porn hub account using mt card?” I blurted those questions to get his mind out of things. “Well, funny story. Your card was already active on Porn hub. Sooo wasn’t me. And, I think.
This is gonna sound crazy, I have been hearing her. I see her sometimes and I don’t want to live without her “he looked at me with a deadpan stare , I bit my lip “Well, someone must’ve hacked my card, but I don’t think you’re crazy. You’re grieving its normal to for you to find a coping mechanism ok? “ I pulled him into a hug. I thought for sure he had lost his marbles. We talked a little mostly he talked. Telling me about a couple of “paranormal” encounters he’s had since Alice died, but I had this eery feeling but I came shoving it deep and deep in my gut. Next day, there was a small incident, I was in the bathroom but I heard laughter, I kid you not it sounded real then white noise. But I shook it off as paranoia.
That night I awoke to the sound of him chuckling, I could swore I heard Alice’s voice, but how . I tip toed to the door, opened it slowly and made my way over to his room. Resting my ear against door. At first I heard nothing then the synchronized humming erupted .It sounded like it was coming from everywhere.
The walls, the ceiling and the floor, the temperature seemed to drop. His door reverbated and shook at its hinges, my body tensed up. I ran back to my room and hid under the sheets. Everything fell silent, I was panting, eyes darting to and fro eventually I fell asleep. Came morning he was in a much better mood. “What was that last night?” I was in panic mood, he looked at me quizzically “What was what?” Matt seemed unbothered, I went over everything that happened. “So you think I’m doing necromancy?” That was his question, “Necro what? Bro I dont know what that is. But I think this place is haunted or some shit”, his face showed no emotion “Coping mechanism remember, I told you but you wouldn’t hear me”. That was the end of our discussion. Thoughts wandered in my head, questions poking my brains. I had to figure this out.
Later that day I made it my priority to try and get to the bottom of this. I heard chattering, it sounded distant yet so near. Then I followed it , the sound was coming from the walls. I listened intently, my bones jumped of my skin when I head hot breath beating against the back of my neck “Watchu doing?” I whipped my head so fast it almost snapped “What the fuck dude!” Matt stood behind me, hands neatly behind his back and a smile on his face but his eyes reflected something ominous.
“Ohh now you hear her too right?she calls to me. At first I ignored it then then I listened carefully. She wants a sacrifice” those words sent a chilling shiver down my spine. He was taking steps towards me, the edge of his smile quivered “What are you doing man” I was backing away slowly, he lunged at me shrieking, Alice’s laughter coming from the walls. I dogded him but not before he could get a swipe on me with a knife. Before I could do anything he was on top of me. We wrestled for some time but I managed to push him off me. I grabbed his favorite vase and brought it down his head it shattered. Disorienting him for a bit. I grabbed him by the collar “She’s not here. Snap out of it.
She’s not real!” I slapped him, he giggled and drove the knife to my side, I winced in pain and pushed him off me I stumbled over, trying to keep my footing. He lunged at me in full force, we wrestled for the knife, Matt started coughing blood, the knife had found its way inside his stomach. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” I pulled it out, and he screamed in agony, falling to the side. I cradled him in my arms “Please, please let me go let me go” blood was spew out of his wound, my eyes were watering at the thought of losing my brother, my heart hammered in my chest. He sang the words “I’m in a field of dandelions” and slowly closed his eyes, humming. I cussed at him. Crying and pleading. The light from his eyes fading, leaving behind a hollow reflection of the light they once emitted. After hours of holding his lifeless corpse I carried him to his room, something caught my attention. On the floor was an egg shaped Bluetooth speaker. I went to his room, laid him in bed. A laptop rested on his night stand, a small note sticking on the screen it read “Play me”.
The video started with Matt sitting in front of his laptop “Hey bro. You watching this, means my plan worked. I want to say I’m sorry. Knowing you,you dropped everything to be here. After losing Alice, I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to die. She died because I asked her to get me some damn smores. I’m sorry, I’ve never cussed in front of you. You know me. I was never a fighter, so I couldn’t kill myself. (He takes a deep breath).
Thats where you come in. Where you will come in. I want you to kill me. You will, because I will make you. I am sorry. I love you bro(his eyes start to water)” then it turned into a slideshow of him and Alice having a good time,all of their memories. I was buffled, so he staged this. I made my way back ti where he died, the speaker laid there. I pressed play and my heart dropped to my stomach. I tore the house upside down and found more speakers, when I pressed play they were voice recordings of Alice, it all came crashing to me. The late night whispering the whole act. My brother wanted me to kill him. He was not suicidal.