When my boyfriend dumped me, I thought I was going to die.
I went home and cried myself to sleep. He was everything to me. I couldn’t go on living without him. When I woke up, I decided I would do anything to get it him back.
–
First of all, I hit the gym.
I put on my yoga pants and sneakers and put hours in on the elliptical and in the Yoga studio. I worked on my diet too, cutting out fats and living off wheat toast.
But, it wasn’t enough. I needed results, and fast
So I hit up one of the girls at the gym for appetite suppressants. And they were good. Sometimes I didn’t have to eat for an entire day. Sure I felt woozy, but I’d generally have enough energy to just about make it through.
–
Next came the hair.
I bought two bottles of strong peroxide and soaked my head in a bath of it for like a half hour. I must have zoned out a little, because the next thing I knew my scalp was burning like hell! It was all red and sore as I was combing it out, and little teeth kept ripping out big clumps of hair, but it was the exact colour I wanted.
Platinum blonde.
–
After the hair came something a little more – drastic.
I’d always hated my face. How my eyes were too narrow and my mouth was too small. I had these big, goofy ears too that used to stick out if I brushed my hair behind them.
They looked so ugly.
So I took something from the kitchen drawer and made some – changes.
I sliced off my eyelids. I carved into the corners of my mouth. I filed down my teeth too, a little pointy, but straight.
And I cut off my big, stupid ears, to make myself pretty.
Now I was perfect.
It was time to take back my man.
–
It was the dead of night when I arrived at my boyfriend’s house.
I wanted to make it a surprise for him, so I didn’t ring the doorbell. I went around back where I knew they kept a spare key hidden.
But he wasn’t alone.
I wasn’t mad though. Because when his new girl saw me – she screamed. She screamed because she knew she couldn’t compete.
She ran from the house.
–
For a moment, my boyfriend just stared at me in confusion. His mouth was opening and closing like a fish out of water.
I knew he didn’t recognise me.
So I told him it was me, that I’d fixed myself for him. Then he started to cry.
I shushed him, stroking his hair softly as he wept.
I just held him for a moment. Seeing the blue and red lights flashing in the window, feeling the plastic handle of the kitchen knife still in my grip…
…and told him it’d all be okay…
…we’d be together – forever…