The supernatural has never been something I have ever fully believed in. Much like the very famous X-File’s episode “I want to believe” but have yet to see evidence that has convinced me one hundred percent. Scully and Molder had nothing on my best friend and I when it came to the believer/non-believer dynamic. Except I may have been slightly more open-minded than Scully in the beginning. I’m going to be honest I am far more prone to believe in aliens than different supernatural phenomenon found on our own planet.
So, with that, it shouldn’t surprise you that I’ve never believed in people being able to accurately predict the future. When my best friend called me to introduce to someone, she claimed would correctly tell me future events in my life, I scoffed.
Our usual conversation ensured, “Jackie, you can’t be serious. Please say you did not give this person your money.” I said with a dismissive laugh in my tone.
Jackie, used to this reaction sighed and explained, “You have never met anyone like Sage. She knew about my cat with Lyme and my grandma falling down the stairs. We’ve become close friends and I think you guys will too”
“An outdoor cat got Lyme and an old lady fell down the stairs. Wow Jax you’re right that is absolutely mind blowing.” I replied with my infamous eyeroll she couldn’t see.
“Stop Madison, please, just trust me. This time I promise you will leave feeling like you truly were touched by the supernatural. Plus, then you’ll be a lot more fun to attend spooky events with.” Jackie pleaded because she knew I wouldn’t say no. What can I say? I meant it when I say I want to believe.
Exasperated I breathed into the phone, “Okay, okay Jax. Give me the date and time you know I’ll be there.
This was so like Jackie, befriended a psychic she met who predicted truly unamazing events. It was wwas always a supernatural spectacular with her. We’ve been ghost hunting, to tarot readings, to conventions dedicated to both and all things spooky and unexplained. She had yet to convert me into a true believer, but I always went with an open mind.
As I entered Jackie’s house to meet the fortune teller, she had set the mood with dim lighting, candles, the whole nine yards. I tried to contain the doubt I was feeling in my stomach. Of all parts of the supernatural from ghosts, to cryptids, to UFO’s, psychics were the facet I doubted most. The others I truly did have an open mind but taking in the scene I realized fortune telling and future predicting is where I drew the line. I don’t know how Bigfoot is more believable than a woman correctly predicting a feline disease, but in my mind it just was.
I sat and was greeted by Sage, and she did not look like I was expecting. I was expecting scarves, flowly skirts, bangles, and a crystal ball. Instead, my eyes drank in the scene, a beautiful woman in jeans and a hoodie. I had to contain my laughter, not out of judgement for her outfit as I was in something almost identical, just because she was so opposite of what I pictured.
She looked deeply into my eyes as I entered the room and immediately told me that next week, I’m going to need to help my sister. No weird palm reading, not cards, no crystal ball just one 10 second look into my eyes. Her appearance and considering my sister and I talked maybe once a year and it usually ended in a fight, I laughed. Sage didn’t say anything, didn’t try to convince me, just spouted off a few more things about work and “getting in an accident.” I looked incredulous the whole time but amazingly she didn’t even seem effected by it.
A week later my mom called, my sister had torn her ACL and needed me to help with grocery shopping. I was helping my sister even with our tense relationship, but I still wasn’t sold. After I received a predicted promotion at the exact day and time and got in an accident at the exact intersection that she said I would, I was all in.
I saw Sage more and more frequently, trying to understand how she could know these things and so grateful she did. As a person with anxiety over control issues she was like an IV full of liquid Xanax, probably even better. The sense of calm that filled me was irreplicable and no drug could replicate it.
Since I started taking her premonitions seriously, I avoided what would’ve been a terrible house fire (fire department said if I let that wire go one more week it wouldn’t have had a home anymore), was prepared for my aunt’s cancer diagnosis, and avoided my dog getting seriously injured while chasing a squirrel into the road.
She started considering me a friend. We began going to lunches together, sharing inside jokes and just honestly enjoying being in each other’s judgment free company. She never judged me or things she saw in my future and I relied so much on her visions and kindness I wouldn’t dream of passing judgment on her. She started opening up, even telling me the only person’s future she can’t see is her own. A cruel twist of fate that this unfair life would throw at someone. While she was frustrated by it, she had to accept and always said “There’s just some things no one should know I guess.”
The more things she helped me avoid, the calmer I felt, and while it was better than a drug, I realized I needed Sage just like junkies need their fix. Not to go all Edward Cullen on everyone but she truly was like my own personal heroin, when we didn’t talk, I got the sweats, severe anxiety, lack of sleep, the works.
This led me to start obsessively calling Sage. I didn’t want to know at this point, I needed to, my meantal and physical health were dependent on it. Otherwise, my anxiety became overwhelming, over months of not feeling it I could no longer cope and power through like before. I need that calm I never knew existed prior to Sage. My brain not needing to obsess over every interaction and event of the day. Not worrying if people took what I said the wrong way, no worrying about things out of my control. It was pure nirvana and I needed it at all waking hours at this point.
Sage couldn’t handle my need for constant contact or what had become demands to tell me what was going to happen. She tried a few times to set some healthy boundaries such as when I could call and that she was no longer going to tell me my future, I couldn’t do that. I NEEDED my fix regularly throughout the day. It got to the point where she said our relationship was no longer healthy and she needed space for a while. I wasn’t prepared for that, and the next few weeks were torture going through life blind like everyone else. Never knowing when terrible things would take place.
After a few weeks of nothing but anxiety, worry and stress I couldn’t stand it anymore. I couldn’t sleep, I wasn’t eating. I was also frozen almost worried with every single move and breath I took something dangerous was leering around the corner just waiting for me to put my guard down.
I needed to know what was going to happen. If Sage didn’t want to be around me fine, but I needed the information. When I scalped her and peered inside, I thought it would be obvious, a glaring difference that made her able to do this. Instead, I was greeted by what looked like a very garden-variety human brain. After hours of staring and speculating I knew what I needed to do, as I took the first piece of her brain out and chewed it, nothing changed. Maybe I need to ingest the whole thing for it to work..