My teeth clenched in a tight grimace as pain shot down my left arm. I took a deep breath, steeling myself before looking into my daughter Cassidy’s face. The look of terror and helplessness etched into her features wasn’t one I’d seen before. And as much as I wanted to buckle at the knees myself, I couldn’t. The second she saw how afraid I truly was, it was all over for us. The only hope we had of making it was by staying calm, rational and mainly- alive.
I allowed a lie to consume my face in the form of a gentle smile as I released her hand from my forearm. The small crescent indentions in my skin from her grip didn’t surprise me, but the droplets of blood sure did. I wiped them away on a nearby shirt absentmindedly, stroking Cassidy’s cheek as I did so. Her eyes searched my face wildly for signs of what to do.
This wasn’t our first rodeo. Living in Florida puts you at risk for hurricanes for pretty much the last third of the year. But goddamnit, this one wasn’t supposed to hit us. I’m not an idiot, I know how to pay attention to weather alerts, the news and all that other shit. Every year they show a clusterfuck of projections, graphs, noodle lines and everything else to show the projected path of any tropical storm or hurricane. And I’m telling ya, we weren’t in any of them. For God’s sake, we shouldn’t even have lost power. But from the sounds I was hearing outside, we were all losing so much more.
I’d been so lost in thought that I didn’t notice Cassidy had latched back on until the stinging in my arm returned. My poor, sweet girl, born without one ounce of hearing. As selfish as it sounds to say, there weren’t many times I envied her condition, but now was certainly one of them. She was terrified enough without the swale of audible destruction taking place in our neighborhood. The pressure in the air was palpable, even to me. I couldn’t imagine the type of things she was picking up on. She removed a trembling hand from my arm, taking the first two fingers on each hand and sticking out her thumbs before placing them together in a stacked swirling motion: sign language for hurricane. I placed a steady hand on her shoulder and nodded my head. I looked her deep in the eyes, moving my lips carefully to aid her understanding. “It’s going to be okay Cassidy.”
Her father had been against learning to read lips, said life would be hard enough for her without having to learn all the extra bullshit. But I disagreed, not because I wanted to make things hard for her, but because I knew she held the resolve and intellect to achieve anything that she’d wanted to. She’d signaled to me before that learning to read lips made her feel like she was in a secret club of sorts. It tickled her that out of a playground full of hearing children, she’d be able to get the scoop on the drama that belonged to the kids around the neighborhood. So many people focus on who is listening that not many of them stop to think of who’s watching.
Now-don’t get all excited. My kid’s not one to stir the pot, she just likes to peek at what’s inside from time to time. And if it makes her happy then more power to it. My little girl aint hurting anybody. However she feels comfortable being a part of the world is just fine with me.
Her tender fingers returned to my arm, tugging gently this time. For the briefest of moments, I was able to catch a stillness in the chaos, focusing intently. It seemed as if each tug from her hand was in sync with my own heartbeat. My eyes drifted down to hers, and what she asked me nearly brought tears to my eyes. “Are we going to die?”
It wasn’t something that I hadn’t asked myself when I first realized how bad things would be. We don’t have basements here to hide in and from what I saw before the power went out, the quickset shelters are almost literal mobs full of panicked and desperate people. Not to mention all of the reports in other cities of robberies during the last storm- both inside and outside of the shelters. That was one of the many reasons why Cassidy and I found ourselves in my walk-in closet with my queen-sized mattress barricading the door frame. As much as I hate to admit it, I wasn’t sure if we should be upstairs or downstairs. Both locations were at risk for causing harm.
Were we going to die? Who the fuck was I to say? None of this was supposed to be happening, period. As many thoughts such as those flew around my mind almost all at once, I refused to further traumatize an already petrified child. Leaning back to allow enough space between us to move freely, I told her as long as we make safe choices and stick together, we’d be able to make it through much worse things than this. A smile began to bloom across her cheeks as I bent to her level and assured her. “No one’s doing any dying today Butch.” Butch was a nickname my father came up with for Cassidy, and if I have to explain it to you then you wouldn’t get it anyway.
Before too long she told me that she needed to go to the bathroom, which happened to be not too far from our front door. Was it the safest thing to do? Maybe not. But I wasn’t quite sure we had reached ‘pissing on the closet floor’ level of danger either. Either way I figured she could go to the bathroom, I could grab some more closet snacks and peek out the front to see just exactly what we were all dealing with weather and damage wise.
“Don’t pee your pants!” I joked, reaching down under her arms to give her light tickles which sent her into body hiccups of giggles. Once I was sure I had her full attention, I made my best He-Man stance and kicked the mattress out from in front of the door. However I wouldn’t be in a silly mood for long.
My room was swallowed in absolute darkness. It almost seemed to suck up the brightness from our flashlights. Relief began to set in once the living area was in full view, and I ushered Cassidy to the bathroom door. The setting sun, though in turmoil, still provided enough light to see by through the unboarded windows. Unfortunately the relief I found in it was shallow and fleeting. The floor’s surface, especially by the front door, looked slick and shiny. My heart sank at the almost inevitable reality that water was indeed getting into the house. I reeled at the unfairness of all of it. A hurricane has never come this late in the year and almost teleported off path like this. My soul was saddened for our little town.
The wind outside sounded like a malevolent entity, hungry, dark and all consuming. That always seems the most terrifying doesn’t it? When things seem to take on a dark mind of their own I mean. A cacophony of splintering wood and broken glass blasted from an upstairs room. I instantly sprinted back over to the bathroom, signaling Cassidy to follow me upstairs. The impeding water would soon reach the bedroom we were hiding out in, and the last thing I wanted to do was keep an eight year old girl calm in ankle or even waste deep water. Branches twisted unnaturally outside as mother nature had her way with them, and the flood water was steadily rising. So I traded one set of risks for another and made my way upstairs to the upper bedrooms.
As much as the roar of noise outside scared me, the sounds it left behind in its wake were much worse. My ears would have welcomed the category 3 winds to come back and drown out the sound of desolate suffering- and maybe they would. But at that moment, all I heard were sobs, screaming and the sound of more glass, with the most prominent seemingly coming from right outside Cassidy’s bedroom window. The realization then dawned on me that my daughter and I weren’t going through this alone. Other people and families were also trapped in the calamitous state of their homes. Involuntary grunts of pained bones escaped my lips as I lowered myself to the floor to look under Cassidy’s bed. “Stay right here,” I told her. Only after surveying the area to make sure she’d be safe in my quick absence.
I took tentative steps to the windowsill, taking a moment to be thankful for the wherewithal I had to have Cassidy and I put our shoes on beforehand to protect our feet just in case. Peering out, I could see that the water level had risen to mid living room level of the surrounding houses. My gaze stopped when it met a pair of weathered, wide eyes. It was my adjacent neighbor Mr. Adler. I wasn’t too familiar or friendly with him, honestly. He had initially called Cassidy a rude child when she wouldn’t answer a question he asked or respond to something he had said. I had to explain to him more than once that she was born non hearing. But some people, if it’s not their life they don’t give a fuck right?
Well poor Mr. Adler was certainly singing a different tune this evening. He looked so frail perched against the edge of his window. He was hollerin’ something awful. “Mr. Adler,” I shouted. “Are you hurt?” He shook his head, fervently pointing to the water below. His voice was clear despite the distance. An emergency operator had told him that rescue workers couldn’t report to the area until the conditions were calmed and the roads were clearer. I’d feared as much, which is why I hadn’t bothered wasting my phone battery trying to fight through phone lines for help that was unavailable, albeit temporarily.
The elderly man brought his foot up to meet the window ledge, and from the direction he was looking, it was clear he wanted to reach the roof. In God’s name, he’s gonna kill himself, I thought- terrified at the prospect of seeing him fall. I called out to him. You know I had to. And you also probably know that it was to no avail. God knows what was in that water, but I can sure as shit say I’d rather him take his chances swimming than trying to climb on the roof.
These weren’t apartment buildings. There was no staircase or door providing roof access. You had to get up there the hard way. When I say my heart leapt in my chest and froze there, I mean it. I literally felt a frigid lump lodge between my lungs as I watched him use his weight on that raised foot to stand, turning to try to grab onto something to hoist himself up with. The writing was almost literally on the water-logged walls. One way or another, he was ending up in that water.
What in the hell was he thinking? I didn’t know this man’s medical history. There was no way to know if he was in his right mind or missing medication. There could be a number of things that lead him to try to escape that way. It was dangerous enough being as high up as we were. If the water didn’t get us, a falling tree sure as hell could. “Stop! You’re going to get hurt!” I pleaded.
He stopped what he was doing to turn his head and stare at me before gesturing below emphatically. Stuttered words flew through his lips faster than my ears could understand them. He kept pointing down at the water. “I don’t understand. Can you not swim?”
Mr. Adler shook his head emphatically- letting me know that swimming wasn’t the issue., He shrieked as he noticed the water level actively rising. Unfortunately, I noticed it too. The rain still whipped around outside despite the semi-calmed winds. My entire being was torn between running back to Cassidy and staying put to literally talk my elderly neighbor off of a ledge. Frightened tears prickled the corners of my eyes, though I knew crying would solve absolutely nothing. How was I possibly supposed to help this man when I couldn’t even help myself at the moment?
I was far from a concern of his, that much was for sure. He had gone right back to attempting to climb out of his window in order to reach the roof. My heart beat frantically as I watched him with bated breath. It was like watching two cars, knowing it was unavoidable that they would crash. But there’s just nothing that could be done. All I could do was stand there, motionless waiting for this man’s doom.
A faint vibration hummed against the soles of my shoes, kissing my toes in quiet alarm. It was something I’d taught Cassidy when she was practically a toddler. The world is a busy place, sometimes even within the walls of your own home. If she needed my attention and for some reason couldn’t get it visually, stomp on the floor. If someone was around and thought it was odd or rude well they could go fuck themselves then couldn’t they. All that mattered was that I knew, and my daughter knew. It was important for Cassidy to feel heard especially since she wasn’t able to do so.
I knelt down beside the bed just as she raised her fist to pound on the floor. She stopped mid-motion and I honestly marveled at what a beautiful child she was. I was so blessed to have her. She wanted to know if it was safe to come out and look out the window. I told her she could come out but to stay away from all the glass in the house, especially windows. However, now that she brought it up I couldn’t help but think about Mr. Alderman and his current situation.
Waves of relief swelled through me when I saw he was no longer at his window. Hopefully he’d gained the common sense to go back inside and seek help in another, safer way. And as I said before, I had next to no knowledge about this person. But if I had to guess, I’d have to assume that he lived alone.
I did my best to scan the inside of the house for any activity, but regretfully saw none. There was one thing I did notice though that I was sure wasn’t there before. A faint red streak kissed the bottom corner of one of the shutters that had managed to stay on despite the onslaught of wind and rain.
I didn’t want to do it at the time, and now I wish I hadn’t. Maybe then Cassidy and I would be able to spend what could very well could be our last moments (at least in this house) with a sense of togetherness and peace. But I did it: I looked down.
Mr. Adler was laying face down in the watery grave that was one our shared bits of yard below. One arm was twisted and floated behind him at an unnatural angle while the other remained tucked close to his torso. But his head… oh my god his head. The top quarter of his skull was gone completely and the other side wasn’t in much better shape. The brittle neckbone that connected the two had obviously been broken in the fall as well. I’d watched a hundred horror films but had never even come close to seeing anything like this in real life. My stomach wretched and I turned away to make sure Cassidy was out of his line of sight.
There was no help for our poor neighbor. All we had to do was stay out of danger for a couple more days. As long as nothing big hit the house in the next 48 hours, we should be okay.
I was just about to suggest that we move into another room when out of the corner of my eye, I caught something stirring outside. Now, I’d heard of sharks and gators and all types of other animals showing up in communities due to confusion by the flooding rains. My first fear was that something like that had decided to grab Mr. Adler, adding insult to already fatal injury.
But no. A cracking sound resonated up to my window from below as my neighbor’s bones jerked and quaked beneath his skin. The way he rose to his feet was akin to a puppet on a string. What was left of his head lolled to the side, resting on his shoulder and bobbing slightly with each unnatural movement. He took a few shaky steps through the water with searching, empty eyes. The moment he saw me he took off like a bullet. His broken form sped effortlessly through the water, slamming into the side of my building over and over and over again.
***
Cassidy and I have been up here for what seems like hours now, and the sun has long set. She isn’t able to hear Mr. Adler slumping against the side building but I had no idea if she could feel it. I’ve managed to get her to fall asleep for the time being. From the muffling of noise over time, it sounds like he’s banging himself apart out there, or at least losing steam. He is far from my main concern though.
There are holes all throughout the roof. We can’t seem to find dry shelter no matter what room we migrate to. I’m terrified of whatever is in that water to cause Mr. Adler to distort and deform the way that he did, but from what I last saw out of my window he’s not the only one. I am desperate for help at this point. The rescue crews will hopefully be able to make their way out by boat in the afternoon. But until then I’m terrified. Mr. Adler’s still banging away, and the water is pouring in.
If you hear this, there’s something in the water. I don’t know if you have to swallow it or if it can affect you by mere touch or even through a cut. But there’s something in the water, and it wants to kill us.