The following transcript came from from uncle in the Department of Defense. He told me not to tell anyone, but I can’t in good conscious do that.
FILE: WhiteStar_Interview1.wav
SUBJECT: Dr. Craig Morris
LOCATION: Undisclosed
DURATION: 0:03:22
DATE: 8/6/2023
“You’re recording this?”
“We’re recording everything, Dr. Morris.”
“If you’re recording this, I want it on the record that I don’t have a lawyer present and I don’t know what happened.”
“Somebody knows.”
“Well, not me. I’m one of the supervisors on this. Not the head supervisor. You should talk to Jeraldine.”
“We will and we are. But we wanna hear from you.”
“I can only talk about where I came in, which is the middle. I’m like the olive loaf between two slices of bread.”
“When I have a sandwich, I consider the meat the best part. Talk about Project White Star.”
“It’s something they found. I don’t know anything about it prior to seeing it.”
“What did you see?”
“You can’t be a scientist without being a sci-fi geek. It’s like being a baseball player without having seen Major League. It just doesn’t happen. So when they call me in, I’m already thinking Aliens, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and Event Horizon —”
“Event Horizon?”
“Cool concept, okay movie. Doesn’t matter. The point is, I’ve got UFOs on the brain when I see it. And it’s huge, fills the entire airport hangar. It’s white, but like really white. Like staring into a solar eclipse without the little piece of cardboard with the hole in it. And then there are these spikes off it. Did you ever play Jacks when you were a kid?
“You bounce the rubber ball and see what you can grab?
“Yeah. Lots of people don’t know this, but it used to be called knuckle bones. Game goes all the way back to ancient Greece. That’s what I thought of when I saw this thing. Knuckle bones. Gave me the shivers.”
“What were you asked to do?”
“I’m a biologist. So they want me to check the biology of this thing, only there’s nothing to check. Sure, there’s the EMF and the little bits of radiation coming off of it, but you can’t touch it or —”
“The animations?”
“That’s what everyone started calling it. I think Davis maybe said it first.”
“Davis was with Lt. Carheart when the incident occurred?”
“That was before me, and I guess after as well. You have to talk Davis or Jeraldine if you want the gory details.”
END RECORDING:
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FILE: WhiteStar_Interview2.wav
SUBJECT: Sgt. Davis Daniels
LOCATION: Undisclosed
DURATION: 0:03:60
DATE: 8/6/2023
“You know I’m a Sergeant?”
“It says as much in your file.”
“But everyone just calls me Davis like they forgot my rank. I guess I’d forget too if I were younger and saw someone like me.”
“Someone like you?”
“A glorified security guard, sitting around here instead of the retirement home. That’s how it happened. I can take my share of the blame, but it wasn’t just me who forgot to be careful. We all let our guard down. I’m sorry, can we do this later? I’m tired. I haven’t slept in —”
“We can get you a coffee.”
“No, no coffee. It would just make me more jangly than I am. I suppose you wanna know about Lt. Carheart?”
“Among other things.”
“He was sent down to the hangar as punishment, mouthing off to a senior officer or something. See, that’s what the White Star detail had become. For eighty-eight years, no new data, no new discoveries, just that big glove sitting there.”
“Did you say big glove?”
“Jeraldine came up with that one. And she’s right. If you really look at that White Star, it isn’t much of a star at all. It’s rounded at the corners and the fifth point sticks out more like a thumb.”
“I never noticed. Let’s get back to Lt. Carheart.”
“We worked the shift together. The first few days we didn’t talk much, we just shared space. But then we got to talking about his wife and his kids and life outside the base. Just trivial stuff.”
“You became friends.”
“Too much so, I guess. I snuck us down some hooch one night. Just for fun. We weren’t doing anything but sitting there, so I didn’t see the problem with getting a little fuzzy.”
“And this is when Lt. Carheart breached the permitted fence?”
“He’s a tall fella. Just swung his legs right over it. He was laughing and wanting to play double dog dare, like we were children. But he was the only one playing. He dared himself to touch it, not me.”
“Entire teams of scientists have manhandled the White Star before with no reaction, correct? Why do you think it was different this time?”
“Couldn’t say.”
“Venture a guess for me. Pretend your future depends on it.”
“You wanna hear the theories of an old fool? Fine. Maybe it was in hibernation. Maybe it wasn’t going to wake up for just anyone for any reason. It had to be someone like Lt. Carheart. Someone with a sense of humor.”
“Aliens with a funny bone?”
“But no one’s laughing. Not after that horror show.”
“Indeed. After the Lieutenant touched it, what happened?”
“You’re probably too young to remember the old movie houses, but it was like when the projectionist used to change the reels. The White Star flickered just like that and then a shimmer of light shot down Lt. Carheart’s arm.”
“That’s when the animations started?”
“Like a Merry Melodies cartoon come to life.”
“So you sounded the alarm?”
“I should have hit it sooner. If I had, maybe Lt. Carheart would still be with us.”
“He’s not dead as I understand it.”
“You hear him mooing? He’s not alive either. If that Jeraldine woman had any conscience, she’d put him out of his misery.”
“You don’t like Ms. Vise?”
“She’s on no one’s side but her own.”
“I understand.”
END RECORDING:
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FILE: WhiteStar_Interview3.wav
SUBJECT: Jeraldine Vise
LOCATION: Undisclosed
DURATION: 0:04:40
DATE: 8/8/2023
“I finally got you in a room, Ms. Vise.”
“As you might imagine, my schedule is quite busy.”
“Is that all? I was getting the impression that you didn’t want to be interviewed.”
“Now that you mention it, let’s be clear. I’m doing this as a courtesy.”
“You think so? The oversight committee I work for —”
“Has no legal authority over me.”
“Correct. However, we do control the funding to the CIA and the CIA controls this project. So in point of order, we control you, as long as you work on the White Star. Or the Big Glove, as I hear you prefer.”
“Alright, put your dick away. Your territory is marked. Tell me what you want, so we can get this over with?”
“Everything, Jeraldine. But let’s start with how a woman with no apparent military rank and no doctorate gets put in charge of a program like this —”
“Sorry, that information is redacted, as I’m sure you know. You’ll have to talk to Deputy Director McCarthy.”
“I plan on it.”
“All you need to know is that I’m very insightful.”
“It was these insights that told you to keep experimenting with Lt. Carheart?”
“So that’s why you’re here? Looking for a scapegoat?”
“Just looking for the truth. After the animations started, what did you do?”
“We locked the Lieutenant down in the basement medical wing. Total quarantine as is procedure.”
“Yes, to the letter. Not that it mattered because his animations were already on the loose…”
“That wasn’t our fault. After contact with the White Star, wherever his feet touched created its own cartoon habitat. Grass, flowers, bees. They just sprung up out of nothing. All bouncing around to their own chipper melody that none of us could hear.”
“You tried to contain them?”
“Obviously, but we had to go slowly. We didn’t understand how the infection was being transmitted yet.”
“Davis said it was all locked down within an hour.”
“An hour is a long time, A third of the base was infected by the end of the second day. It’s hard to catch bees.”
“I can imagine. Describe the gestation period. When did you first see signs?”
“Less than an hour. Given that it initially spread to Lt. Carheart from physical contact with the White Star, we thought that maybe it worked like a viral infection like Rubella or Chicken pox. But we had to throw that theory out when it spread to the Lieutenant’s clothes.”
“I don’t follow.”
“His military uniform turned into a maroon tuxedo, skewed to exuberant cartoon fashion. Have you ever seen that wolf in those Tex Avery cartoons? It was like that.”
“This may be a stupid question, but did you try removing his suit to slow the infection?”
“Couldn’t be done. The suit is merged with his skin. Essentially, it is his skin.”
“Interesting. What was the Lt. Carheart’s mental state as this occurred? Terrified I’d imagine —”
“Not really. Even before the horns grew, a jolliness had possessed him. He could hardly say a word without laughing or mooing.”
“Or screaming?”
“Have you seen the footage?”
“I have.”
“Surreal, isn’t it? A talking cow… like he just walked out of the funny papers.”
“Or another world. Do you know where the White Star comes from?”
“Huh. I figured with you working for the committee, you’d know more than me.”
“I’m just a steward. Nothing more.”
“Well, there are lots of theories. Some believe aliens sent the Big Glove as a bio-weapon to destroy the world. Others think it’s a transdimensional Rosetta Stone for communication.”
“But not you?”
“I think it’s a practical joke from something far beyond our understanding. A whoopee cushion slid neatly under our reality.”
“If that’s true, what does that make Lt. Carheart and the dozen other soldiers infected?”
“Farts. The universe’s cosmic farts.”
“I will take your tactful insights to heart, Ms. Vise. Thank you for your time. I may call upon you again, but I have someone else to visit.”
END RECORDING:
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FILE: WhiteStar_Interview4.wav
SUBJECT: Lt. Bill Carheart
LOCATION: Undisclosed
DURATION: 0:1:05
DATE: 8/10/2023
“Can you hear me through the glass, Lt. Carheart?”
“Ay—yup. I can, I surely can. Yes siree, Bob. Moo!”
“Wonderful. Can you tell me —”
“Moooooo!”
“— about your current condition?”
“Ay—yup. I can, I surely can. Yes siree, Bob. Moooooo!”
“Lt. Carheart, I can’t help you if you don’t answer my —”
“Moooooooo!”
“You can’t even understand me can you?”
“Ay—yup. I can, I surely — Moooo! Yes siree — Moooooooooooooooo! Please, help me — Mooooo! Mooooooo! Mooooooooooo!”
END RECORDING:
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FILE: WhiteStar_Interview5.wav
SUBJECT: Deputy Director Lee McCarthy
LOCATION: CIA Headquarters. Langley, VA
DURATION: 0:5:12
DATE: 8/6/2023
“I understand you’ve had a busy week and a long flight. Why don’t you put up your feet and have a drink?”
“Very kind of you, Mr. McCarthy.”
“Call me Lee. We’re all friends here, aren’t we?”
“I most sincerely hope so.”
“Good, good. And in that spirit of friendship, I just wanna make sure that your committee and the CIA are both on the same page.”
“And which page would that be?”
“We take out the essential staff —”
“Like your head supervisor Ms. Vise?
“— and then we dispose of the rest. Clean slate. Tabula rasa.”
“You want to destroy the White Star?”
“More like bury. As I understand it, the vessel, sadly, can not be destroyed.”
“And what about Lt. Carheart? And the dozen other soldiers infected?”
“Tragic situation. But with Jeraldine’s notes and her tissue samples, I see no reason that research can’t continue someplace else in a more controlled environment. With your committee’s funding, of course.”
“Of course.”
“Good. Then we are in agreement?”
“No, DeputyDirector — not even close. Under no circumstances will the CIA receive one more penny from us if White Star is shut down.”
“Do you have any idea the danger that thing puts our country — hell, the world — in? One little leak and we could have a plague of cartoon zombies on our hands? You really wanna take that risk?”
“I see, so you’re a patriot?”
“I’m not a fool. I won’t trade security for uncertainty, no matter how much funding you throw at us.”
“And covering your own ass is just a fringe benefit right?”
“For eighty years that thing stayed quiet and if it stays quiet for another eighty years, I’d consider that a win for all of us.
“Eighty-eight, actually.”
“What’s that?”
“Eighty-eight years ago is when the White Star appeared. And though we don’t know where it came from, there is something very significant about that year. Do you know what it is, Deputy Director?”
“Don’t let my salt and pepper hair fool you, I’m not that old.”
“In 1929, Disney Animation released a cartoon short called The Opry House, featuring none other than Mickey Mouse himself.”
“The wonders of Wikipedia.”
“What’s particularly interesting about this cartoon is that it’s the first time Mickey wore his signature white gloves.”
“Well that is indeed fascinating. But I fail to see the point.”
“Deputy Director, The White Star, isn’t a star — it’s just like Ms. Vise said, it’s a glove. A giant white glove. Somehow, whoever sent the White Star, saw that cartoon and decided to respond. They’re waving hello. And we need to figure out how to wave back because if we don’t, the next glove they send might not be an open palm, but a closed fist.”
“…You’re pulling my leg?”
“Not at all. And moreover, the committee agrees with me. They also agree you should step down from the project.”
“And I wonder who they’ll get to replace me? Any ideas?”
“I take it you’re being sarcastic. It will be me, of course.”
“Aw, and so the picture comes into focus. You bastard. Now I see why you were recording all these interviews. You were building a case against me? Making sure I looked incompetent.”
“Make you look incompetent? Truly, I did very little work on that front.”
“And now that you are in charge — what’s your master plan for when the Martians finally do show up and they discover you’re not friendly cartoon characters, but a bunch of assholes?!”
“If we’re lucky? While they’re distracted by us waving hello with one hand, we’ll stab them in the back with the other.”
“Funny.”
“Which part?”
“Maybe they were thinking the same thing.”
END RECORDING: