Am I the only one who spends half an hour scrolling through the Kindle Store unable to find a book that jumps out?
This morning I was sitting on the couch, hot cup of fresh coffee in one hand, my Kindle in the other, mindlessly scrolling through the long list of “recommended for you” books.
Nothing was really jumping out. I scrolled through, hoping Boris Bacic had released a new book I may have missed, no luck.
At this stage I was about to click download on another horror anthology, when a strange title caught my eye…
“Insert Title”
I’m still unsure if that is the actual title of the book, or a publishing error. A simple plain white cover with “Insert Title” printed in a basic black font. Curiously I clicked on it.
The book had 0 reviews and 0 ratings. The released date was this morning. Most interesting of all, the author had the same name as me! Middle name and all. I had to read this, even if the book was horrendous.
I clicked “read now” and waited for the book to download.
I drank the last of my now cold coffee and placed the empty cup on the coffee table. Getting myself comfortable, I pulled the release on the recliner and pulled a blanket over my legs.
Upon opening the book, it was clear the book had been self published. There was none of the legal jargon and publisher titles that consume the first few pages of a normal book. Just a title page and a small preface from the author. I am probably breaking some copyright or plagiarism laws posting this, but I’ll paste it below anyway.
“Thank you for taking the time to read my first ever novel. As you will come to learn, I owe you a great debt. Eternally grateful, Patrick.”
Seems a little dramatic don’t you think?
Moving on I clicked over to the next page.
“Chapter 1 lege haec, incipe finem, solve me solve ligamen, animam tuam vindica”
What the fuck does that say? Clearly not English.
I picked up my phone and jumped on Google. Typing the paragraph in, I learnt that it is Latin.
Now if you have read this far, I can be honest with you. I owe you some transparency.
The words are literally a curse. A curse releasing some ancient Demon and allowing it to claim your body as their own. Allowing it to take your soul and walk this earth, using your body as their vessel.
After reading this I freaked out, I take this type of thing very seriously. Luckily several close family members are well versed in the dark arts, so naturally I gave my Aunty a call and explained what I had read.
She confirmed what I had already expected. Unfortunately the only way to avoid the curse taking effect, is it to pass the curse on.
Begrudgingly, I have had to pass the curse on.
I am sorry I have had to do this at your expense. Call it selfish if you will. Cowardly, evil, whatever, I understand. I had the same thoughts initially. Honestly I suggest you do the same.
SAVE YOURSELF, PASS THIS ON. Send them this link.