Being an avid user of the internet, be it Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. I do get the occasional bot or scammer in my dms. When it came to accounts like this, I would usually send them a message or two before I found out that they either weren’t real or were out to scam me. The thing about online scammers is that they have a weird but simple way of doing things that makes it really easy to identify them among other, real accounts.
Their username usually has some real name in it mixed with another word and then a couple random numbers after it, like “LilyLight2328,” or “MaxChair4380,” or something similar. They also usually have a picture of a random sexy woman as their profile picture. The app that I usually get these messages on is an app where it’s pretty much a rule that you never put your real name or a real picture of yourself on it.
This is why, after what felt like hundreds of messages from these scam accounts, I found a way to have a little fun with them. I would follow along with their little act, despite their obvious lack of knowledge when it came to the English language. They would ask me to buy the usual stuff like gift cards and tell me to give them the code, and I would pretend that I did just to keep their hopes up. Essentially, I would waste their time until I got bored and blocked them.
But recently I found a very easy and fun way to piss them off. Insulting them in their native language was just the thing I was looking for. “Oloribu omo ofo” was the phrase. In English it translates to “Empty-headed child” but to them it basically means “I hope your child is stillborn.” Which upon sending to them will usually force them out of their friendly English mode and into their hostile Indian or whatever mode.
It didn’t always work though. With as many people that exist in the world today it’s likely that your everyday scammer isn’t the race you think he is. He could be Russian, Chinese, Nigerian, or even American. But the business that is online scamming never strays too far from their usual personnel.
Usually when I send the text, “Oloribu omo ofo,” the person on the other end responds in the same language. They usually send up to ten angry messages before they stop and block me. Despite not being able to understand their language I can still see the waves of anger being emitted with every text they send. I’ve done this at least twenty times in the past week and it never stops being funny.
That was until a few days ago. I was just getting off of working at Dunkin’ Donuts when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out to see I had gotten a message on one of my apps from a person whose username I didn’t recognize. “HazelGrass985” was the username. I knew instantly that this wasn’t a real person. Their only message was “Hi.” I didn’t even bother playing along with them, so I just sent “Oloribu omo ofo” and stuck my phone back in my pocket.
On the short walk to my car, I began to smile to myself due to the feeling of eight vibrations in my pocket in close succession. I got into my car and took my phone back out to plug it into the aux cord when I noticed the messages that the scammer had been sending. Most of them were in his native tongue but his final one was in English.
I froze in my seat, staring at the message on my phone until the screen went dark and the phone turned off from lack of use. I turned to my left and looked at my place of work before quickly turning back to my phone. And for the first time since I began doing this, I translated what the scammers messages said.
His messages read like this:
“Why?”
“You will never get love from your mother or god.”
“Do you wish to go?”
“I can see it now .”
“You are smaller than me.”
“I have a weapon.”
“I will see you soon.”
“Dunkin’ Donuts.”