I’m no writer, by any means… but i felt i should write this.
I’ve been reading a lot of creepy shit on the internet lately and i guess this is my way to internalize it.
forgive me for my mispelled words because for some reason the ‘Notes’ app on my phone wont spell check for me as i write. i just know im going to get too lazy to re-write everything. I’m already tired of it now; having to back-track and add an apostrophe here or there, or capitalize a word i had missed. i sound like an angelic prophet that doesnt want to be stuck down.
(please, please forgive me for uncapatalized letters, missing apostrophe’s, misspelled words, commas for pauses in sentences, or anything in between; i promise i do know how to write propar grammar but for some reason this app sucks on my mobile phone)
Anyways…
Shits been feeling weird lately. and the only reason i do feel weird is because ive been reading a lot of r/nosleep and creepypastas. not to mention i watch a lot of zombie/ horror/ drama shows.
lately ive been seeing shit out of the corners of my eyes. even just typing this out makes me feel like they know im writing about them. and i dont want that. i dont want them to know that i know some weird shit happens sometimes. and it has in the past but lately its becoming too uncomfortably frequent.
ive recently been adjusting to my glasses. since i normally wear contacts and have two extra pairs of glasses, (one of which was broken by my kid) im down to one pair of glasses since my contact subscription is long gone (ive used them all.)
Since then im adjusting to my glasses and i get weird glares during the day that make me think im seeing something. im noticeable about changes in my environment quite quickly but the second i look, i always question myself.
Nothing was there at all, as if im telling myself,
“it was just a glare, it was the lenses bent at an angle youre not used to.”
but i cant fully believe the other half of my brain telling me that. because i know i saw something twitch just out of my eyesight as i looked over to a section of a room.
shadows are appearing more frequently and I really hate to type this out because i feel like it gives them power.. the power over me to know they have control over my mindset.
i was never upset about moving back with my girlfriends grandpa after her grandma died, we lived there before, when she (the grandma) was still alive. id always thought she protected the very stairs she fell down that lead to the basement. she was blind and we believe she got turned around since the bathroom door was directly across from the basement door (we live in the basement.)
ill relent, i was upset at first. we had a nice apartment and it was just enough for the two of us. when we moved back in, we were pregnant and could use all the help we could get.
Everything was pretty smooth sailing until recently. id been feeling weird about the other half of the basement for a while, but it didnt get bad until a couple days ago.
the stairs to the basement split it in half, we renovated and live in the left half, coming down the stairs; And to the right is all storage of old stuff, including ours and her grandpas.
well ive gotten the sense something was following me up the stairs before, and always tried to shrug off the chill up my spine for a while now. after all, grandma was guarding the bottom of the stairs. The very stairs that took her life.. But somehow… somehow, the same feeling of a moment of haste where as soon as i reach the bottom of the stairs, i just immediately want to turn left and get into the comfort of the couch, and the tv. And its not her making me feel that way, its something sinister. Grandma was an angel, these feelings i get at the bottom of the stairs now make me feel like a five year old child, afraid of the dark again. Afraid to leave the bed to go to the bathroom; Araid to navigate without a nightlight.
additionally like i said, ive been reading a lot of r/nosleep, which literally has kept me up at night; if you read the right stories.
so maybe its up to my late-night-sleep-deprivation, or the fact that im dealing with alcohol withdrawal (i guess i have to admit i have a drinking problem now…) or the combination of the two because i know they go hand-in-hand with each other.. you know, auditory and some slight visual hallucinations. but all i know is ive been seeing shadows out of the corner of my eye move lately, and hearing weird tinks and clangs and even a literal “bump in the night lately.” (its probably the heat ventilation) Even so far as to hear people talking/ whispering in the distance, muffled mostly.
i have a hard time sleeping lately and maybe thats due to my body shaking and cold sweats and it just trying to detox but i just have a feeling that the other half of the basement knows im vulnerable.
i hope i can quit, but all i know is that when im not sober, i can deal with that half of the basement. and when i am, it wont let me sleep, because it knows im still awake, struggling to find peace for a few hours.
i just want to walk up and down the basement steps without a feeling of dread, because i live down there.